Prime Minister Anthony Albanese, presumably seeking to quell the limitless speculation about when he was going to meet with Donald Trump, collared the US president for a selfie yesterday during his visit to the United Nations Headquarters in New York.

Beaming next to Trump, whose rictus grin and waxy countenance gave the vague impression Albo was visiting Madame Tussauds wax museum, the PM wanted to be very clear in the caption: “Good to chat with President Donald Trump”.

It obviously worked: everyone believes the pair had a serious and productive conversation, it didn’t look at all forced or desperate, and Albanese can look forward to the remainder of his time in office free from any nagging doubts over whether the US president likes him.

But whatever the opposition or Labor’s critics in the media might imply about how this is an embarrassment unique to Albanese’s handling of world affairs, the sad fact is that the world stage has always produced a cavalcade of indignities for Australian prime ministers.

Who can forget:

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International media describing John Howard as “an unidentified official” in coverage of the 2000 Olympics. Yes, that was the Sydney Olympics, the Olympics held in the country Howard was currently leading.

Billy Hughes being called a “pestiferous varmint” by then US president Woodrow Wilson during their clashes over the terms imposed on Germany in the aftermath of World War I.

This November 2021 photo of Scott Morrison at the G7 summit:

Scott Morrison at the G7 Summit

Then US president Joe Biden appearing to forget Scott Morrison’s name during the initial announcement of the AUKUS submarine deal.

Scott Morrison (bloody hell, he had a time of it) being called a liar by French President Emmanuel Macron.

Malcolm Turnbull, in dare we say an uncharacteristically pusillanimous moment, ending a conversation during which he’d been given a serious dressing down by the newly elected Trump by promising: “You can count on me. I will be there again and again.”

Sir Robert Menzies famously getting dewey-eyed over Queen Elizabeth II, announcing, “I did but see her passing by and yet I’ll love her till I die” during her 1963 visit to Australia, underlining a relationship that English cricket fans have been able to call on during visits to Australia for decades, no matter how badly they’re getting smashed on the field.

Harold Holt’s “most spectacular friendship” with Lyndon Johnson during the early stages of the Vietnam War. In a crowded list, Holt might have done Australia’s most servile bit of diplomacy, repurposing Johnson’s election slogan by promising over and over again that Australia was going “all the way with LBJ”.

Kevin Rudd was between prime ministerial stints when this was made public, but we think it still counts: footage was leaked in 2012 of Rudd a few years earlier absolutely losing his rag while trying to speak Mandarin: “This fucking language!” he famously complained.

During a visit to the US, Malcolm Fraser was referred to as “John” by Jimmy Carter (it’s his middle name, so maybe that actually proves they were great friends?). This is immortalised in the Wikimedia Commons image of the meeting.

Did I forget any staggering indignities? Let me know below.