The second season of Netflix’s wildly popular elder millennial rom-com Nobody Wants This dropped last week, but that’s not why one of its biggest stars is making headlines.
Actor Kristen Bell, who stars alongside Adam Brody in the Los Angeles-set love story, is instead being called “tone deaf” and “insensitive” over an Instagram post wishing her husband a happy anniversary that seems to make light of domestic violence.
The post looks like it’s supposed to be taken as a joke, and is likely in line with the couple’s particular banter and intimacy, said Shana MacDonald, the O’Donovan Chair in communication at the University of Waterloo who researches social and digital media.
But “you can’t control how what you say is going to land,” she told CBC News.
Dax Shepard and Bell are seen on Oct. 17. The couple has been married since 2013. (Jon Kopaloff/Getty Images)It started with an anniversary message
On Oct. 17, Bell posted an anniversary message to her husband, actor Dax Shepard, on Instagram.
The picture showed the couple — who have often been described as a Hollywood anomaly for still being so smitten with each other and keeping it real — in an emotional embrace. But it was the caption to her 15.8 million Instagram followers that turned heads.
“Happy 12th wedding anniversary to the man who once said to me: ‘I would never kill you,'” Bell wrote. “‘A lot of men have killed their wives at a certain point. Even though I’m heavily incentivized to kill you, I never would.'”
A screenshot of an Instagram post by Kristen Bell from Oct. 17, 2025. (@kristenanniebell/Instagram)Then came the backlash
The responses were immediate, with commenters noting, “domestic violence isn’t a joke,” and many more calling it poor taste, given that October is domestic violence awareness month in the U.S.
Domestic violence advocates slammed Bell’s post in the press, arguing that making it a punchline normalizes abuse and silences survivors.
“There’s nothing funny about domestic violence ‘jokes’ that trivialize the very real fear, trauma and pain that millions of victims and survivors face each day,” a rep for the National Network to End Domestic Violence told Page Six.
“Making flip comments can inadvertently undermine the gravity of these issues and how DV is handled and viewed by society and systems,” Danielle Pollack, policy manager for the National Family Violence Law Center at George Washington University Law School, told the Daily Mail.
“The reality is that femicide is the leading cause of death for pregnant and postpartum women in the U.S., and worldwide every day many women are murdered at the hands of their intimate partners or ex partners.”
It’s absolutely appropriate for advocates to raise a red flag in this situation, MacDonald told CBC News. Even if Bell’s own relationship is completely healthy, people reading her post need to know intimate partner violence is a real problem and not a joke, she explained.
Adam Brody and Kristen Bell attend the Season 2 premiere of Nobody Wants This in Los Angeles on Oct. 16, 2025. (Emma McIntyre/Getty Images/Netflix)How has Bell responded to the backlash?
She hasn’t. Bell has yet to address the issue publicly (although unnamed sources have told various media outlets she is reportedly both “unwilling to apologize” and “terrified” of losing everything).
Bell didn’t mention it during her appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon last week, and she cancelled her scheduled appearance on the Today show.
She did, however, comment generally about her relationship in response to a question about the secret to a lasting relationship on Sirius XM’s Radio Andy show last Thursday.
WATCH | Kristen Bell on the secret to a long marriage:
“I like being married to an actor. We understand each other’s highs and lows and excitements and complaints,” she said. “We’re both creative, so we can get deep into some random conversation and just feel like we’re creating something together.”
As of Monday, the Instagram post in question was still up (although comments were restricted).
A history of dark humour?
Some of Bell’s fans have defended her, commenting on her Instagram post that, “it’s adorable and a display of a goofy and loving relationship,” and pointing out that “it’s their humour dynamic.”
“People who are freaking out about this caption must be new,” wrote one fan, pointing to the couple’s history of dark and self-deprecating humour.
For instance, they often tease each other in the public sphere. Bell posted a photo in 2018 where she said that Shepard “mocked me in our wedding photos because I cried too many tears of joy,” and the pair once had a viral and hilarious social media argument over a La-Z-Boy recliner.
A screenshot of an Instagram post from Kristen Bell from Sept. 1, 2018. (@kristenanniebell/Instagram)
They’ve repeatedly joked about forgetting their own wedding anniversary. In 2021, Shepard posted a photo of Bell doing yoga in the backyard wearing only socks (he covered her butt with a red bar, according to Glamour — the post was deleted long ago).
In 2018, Shepard told Conan O’Brien he was glad he told Bell he didn’t want a prenup when they got married, because “the joke is now on her, because she’s become much more successful than me and has much more money than me — or does she?”
In a 2012 interview with SheKnows about their movie Hit & Run, the pair was asked about “the craziest thing” that’s happened in their relationship and joked about murdering people and hiding the bodies.
In that same interview, the two also joked about a fight over Shepard’s car, and he said, “I was very offended and then I hit her several times.”
“And then I got beat up and guess what? I never opened my mouth again,” Bell said.
WATCH | Shepard and Bell’s 2012 interview:
Now what?
Some advocates have suggested Bell should apologize and support women’s shelters to help rectify the situation.
“Silence here reads brutally ugly. Kristen needs to own it, then move forward. Let people know she trivialized abuse and apologize,” crisis management expert Eric Schiffer told the Daily Mail.
MacDonald agreed, and said Bell’s silence is a missed opportunity to discuss the real threats of intimate partner violence. But she also cautioned people to be careful about how much they get wrapped up in the “rage machine” of social media algorithms and celebrity culture.
“We should be spending our time and attention thinking about those kind of social problems as opposed to just spending our time and energy thinking about celebrities.”
If you’re in immediate danger or fear for your safety or that of others around you, please call 911. If you’re affected by family or intimate partner violence, you can look for help through crisis lines and local support services.