I had just dropped my daughter at school when my phone rang. It was a number I didn’t recognise, and I almost didn’t pick up, as I rarely use my phone for speaking to people I don’t know. That day, however, I was feeling generous.
“Hello, Kerri?” the voice said. “This is DHL delivery. I have your package here, but no one is home.”
I grabbed a knife and ripped through the cardboard, feeling a shiver of anticipation as I peered inside. Credit: Getty Images
“Oh, cool,” I replied. I was expecting two mascaras I’d ordered online, though I hadn’t anticipated they’d arrive so soon. “Can you leave it in the letterbox?”
I heard the man snort. “No, it’s way too big for that,” he said.
I was confused. How large could a pair of mascaras be?
I asked the delivery man to leave the box by the front door and drove directly home. I had intended to head to the shops, but I needed to see this package. I’ve had the odd mishap with online shopping; I once accidentally ordered 10 kilograms of rice instead of one. Was it possible I’d ordered 200 mascaras?
I pulled into my driveway, and saw the box, sitting majestically on my doorstep. It was too big even for 200 mascaras; the thing was the size of a washing machine. It was, however, surprisingly light, and so I carried it inside and scrutinised the label, which told me it was from an outfit called MyUS.
I allowed myself a moment to fantasise about the options. Perhaps it was a gift from a secret admirer. Perhaps it was clothing, or chocolates, or trinkets, or cake. Maybe it was something I’d ordered and forgotten, and I would laugh, and marvel that it had slipped my mind.
I grabbed a knife and ripped through the cardboard, feeling a shiver of anticipation as I peered inside. My mouth dropped open and my heart sank. It wasn’t clothing, or chocolates, or trinkets, or cake. The box contained mop heads – specifically, eight boxes of 16 mop heads.