Self, who was also from London, suffered multiple serious injuries during the attack at the hotel in Hartley Brook Road.
He died in hospital on 21 December 2023.
Text messages shown to the jury displayed the extent of Murphy’s attempt to control her partner, Essex Police said.
He also had injuries that dated back to previous assaults by Murphy prior to the fatal attack.
Ashe Self said she had watched her son change from being a “sociable, happy person to a sad, uncertain and withdrawn one”.
She continued: “Knowing James as I do so well, I realise he would not have fully understood the violence or how to deal with it.
“He thought loving her would be enough. James, as always, believed in the good in people.
“His kindness may have cost him his life.”
Det Anthony Kopf, who led the investigation into Murphy, said the family conducted themselves with dignity in the face of “the most challenging evidence”.
He added: “This case serves as a reminder that domestic abuse can affect anyone, including men.”