MILAN, Italy — Team USA is jumping all-in on the Olympic village experience.

Team Canada is dabbling, and … well … uh, dorm life is cute and all. But the comforts of a five-star hotel and a good night’s sleep might be too attractive to pass up.

“I don’t think we’re doing it as an insult or anything like that,” Canadian goaltender Logan Thompson said Monday morning. “We want to win gold, and we want to give ourselves the best opportunity to do so.”

The vast majority of athletes, including most men’s and women’s hockey teams, from all the skating events taking place in Milan are bunking together in residence-style housing at athletes’ village. 

Dining hall, card games, common areas, roommates, the whole nine.

Given the hotel option, the American men’s squad, loaded with multimillionaires, has decided to embrace the bare-bones college lifestyle for the full two weeks.

The Canadian men spent the first couple nights in the village but will also be testing out hotel life. Canada’s leadership group is making the call.

“Whatever we do, we’ll do as a team,” goalie Darcy Kuemper says. “We’re gonna make the decision that we feel is giving us the best chance to win.”

Thompson joked that he has no trouble flying under the radar at Camp Milano, but Connor McDavid and Sidney Crosby have become instant attractions among the speed and figure skaters.

“You see everyone just staring at them, because they’re the superstars. So, it’s cool to see how other countries really notice them, and how they all just want to come over and say hi to Crosby and McDavid and those guys,” Thompson said.

“I’m still gonna be going to the village as well, going back and forth. You definitely want to get that experience. And it’s cool to meet other athletes, and I want to be able to do that as well as see other Olympic events.”

The six-foot-four, 207-pound goaltender admits his bed is a little smaller than the one he’s used to.

“But it’s got everything we need,” said Sweden’s Lucas Raymond of his assigned room. “It’s got a bed, a bathroom. 

“That’s part of the experience, being in the Olympic village. And just talking with guys who’ve been here before just how much fun that is.”

Raymond is bunking with Atlantic Division rival Rasmus Dahlin. 

“I don’t know if he’s a snorer,” Raymond said, “but we’ll find out.”

Matthew Tkachuk confirms that brother-slash-roommate Brady was sawing logs Sunday night.

“Yeah, he was,” Matthews said. “A couple times I’m off to the bathroom, give him a little kidney shot on the way, telling him to shut up.”

The Tkachuks won’t zip it when it comes to gushing about their Winter Games setup.

“I’ve had some great times hanging out with the rest of the athletes, playing cards, watching the other Olympians,” said Matthew, whose room is near the Hughes’ boys. “It’s been just an unbelievable experience.”

The Tkachuks have already dubbed their room “Club Tkachuk,” and they’ve jokingly been referred to as RAs of the Team USA’s residence.

“I think they probably push their beds together,” snapped Jack Eichel.

“If we hear someone go through a wall in the middle of the night, probably know where it came from.”

And if an American hockey player is getting asked for a selfie by an amateur athlete, it’s probably Auston Matthews. Matthew Tkachuk said the captain is the biggest celeb in subsidized housing.

“I don’t know about that,” Matthews said, laughing. “It’s been cool. You see athletes from all different sports, all different countries, different journeys. It’s a pretty intimate setting. You get to see what they get to go through on a daily basis compared to what you’re used to in your own respective sport. 

“I’ve never seen or been in anything like this. It’s what, kind of, the Olympics is all about — all the best athletes from all around the world and their respective sports. It’s just very neat, very cool to be a part of.”

Counterpoint! Some Michelin-level room service and a quiet, solo sleep inside, say, The Ritz is also very cool.

“I’m not going to say I hate the posh hotels; they’re pretty nice, those ones that you go around North America and stay in,” Eichel admitted. 

“But, listen, it’s a really cool experience. It brings me back to what it’s like in college. You got a roommate who’s two feet away from you in the same room and you’re in a small little dorm, but I think it just brings the guys together.”

“Just the camaraderie is really, really high for being one day. It’s actually pretty incredible. I’ve loved every second of it,” added Matthew Tkachuk, before walking out of the rink.

“I’m excited to get out of here, back to the village and hang out with them more.”

A puck that shouldn’t bobble does off Mark Stone’s stick. 

Jake Oettinger’s cross-crease cuts resound with a strangely loud echo. Sounds vaguely like an orca’s moan.

Assistant coach Rick Tocchet, wearing a toque indoors, fetches a shovel to do a little dry scraping mid-practice.

Eichel catches a bit of a rut but plows through.

No, the rushed-but-ready surface of the work-in-progress Milano Santagiulia is far from pristine.

But the conditions are good enough. Heck, downright fantastic given the time frame to prepare it. And you won’t catch a single NHLer arguing otherwise.

“I can’t imagine having to put together something like this with a limited amount of time. I thought they did a pretty good job to get it up. The setup’s good, the rink looks good, the ice is solid — it’s never going to be perfect — but it’s cool,” said U.S. captain Matthews. “Looks pretty good.”

Yes, the neutral zone is roughly three feet shorter than a standard NHL rink. And the corners round tighter, which helps explain why the Canadians and Americans both ran through some down-low battle drills off hard rims.

But like playing a windy golf course, hey, everyone’s dealing with the same conditions.

American Dylan Larkin described the ice as having an “outdoor-game feel.” Eichel said he could tell “the ice is kinda new.” Drew Doughty says it got “crappy” toward the end of Canada’s hourlong skate Sunday, but, hey, that happens everywhere when you run drills for 60 minutes.

“It’s great,” McDavid said, allowing no space for excuses. “It’s an even playing field for everybody. Same ice that everyone’s gonna skate on. It’s great.”

USA coach Mike Sullivan is reading from the same playbook: “Both teams got to play on the same surface, so we’re thrilled to be here and we love every minute of it.”

And if there’s such a thing as an ice-rink sommelier, poor Brady Tkachuk ain’t it. 

“I honestly can’t even tell if the ice is bad or not,” he said, shrugging. “It’s just either I’m fast or I’m slow that night. No, it was fine. And I’m excited to see how it holds up throughout this whole tournament.”

Team USA avoids injury scares 

Charlie McAVoy, who was injured midway through 4 Nations, is sporting a full shield here after getting chicken-winged by Sandis Vilmanis in his final club game for the Bruins.

It was a frightening and greasy play that, at least for a moment, put the U.S. alternate captain’s Olympic dream in doubt.

“We’re very relieved, and it was concerning to watch,” said Sullivan, who doubles as McAvoy’s father-in-law. “Charlie plays the game so hard. He’s a fierce competitor, and he puts himself in harm’s way all the time for the sake of his team. And I think that speaks volumes for how competitive he is and just the courage that he plays the game with. 

“He’s an elite defenceman, and he’s willing to do whatever it takes to win. And I think that’s why he endures what he endures. He’s a physical player himself, but he takes hits to make plays a lot, and he does it undeterred. For me, if you want to define toughness, it’s not just about what you dish out. It’s your willingness to take hits to make plays also, and I think Charlie checks both of those boxes.”

Fun fact: The Americans open their tournament against Vilmanis and Latvia Wednesday. McAvoy said retribution will not be top of mind.

In other near-miss news, Jack Hughes has been a full participant in practices and assures he is good to play.

“The body feels in a good spot,” Hughes said.

The Devils star missed New Jersey’s final three games before the break due to a lower-body injury.

Being ready for the national squad but not his struggling club team has raised some eyebrows.

“Injuries are tough,” brother-slash-roommate Quinn said. “And, obviously, the one with the hand (earlier this season) was a freak one, and he just wanted to be healthy and wanted to be at his best. And he loves the game. No one hates missing games more than him.”

Quinn, of course, missed out on the 4 Nations, leaving a hint of what if? in his absence.

“I would feel bad for anyone that missed the Olympics,” Quinn said. “Four Nations is one thing, but the Olympics is the Olympics.

“It was frustrating for me to miss it last year. And I think I would know what that felt like a little bit. But for me, I’m just thankful to be here this year and have more gratitude, if anything.”