Stephen Colbert gave what he promised was a “measured, nonpartisan response” to the harrowing news on Wednesday that Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has pulled $500 million in funding for vaccines.
“F— you, you roid-added nepo-carnie!” the “Late Show” host declared during his Wednesday night monologue.
Colbert got to that joke by first informing his audience that “there’s bad news for fans of living,” then touching on that news.
Colbert then explained that “specifically, Bobby Jr is nixing 22 projects that use mRNA technology. But that’s the latest vaccine technology. That’s like saying, ‘Kids, I’m turning off the GPS. We’re going to make our way to Six Flags by using the stars. Hand Daddy the sextant. Yes, crank down windows in Daddy’s car.”
Colbert then ran a clip Kennedy defending this move by saying, “most of
these shots are for flu or COVID, but as the pandemic showed us, mRNA vaccines don’t perform well against viruses that infect the upper respiratory tract.”
Colbert had another succinct response to this.
“Counterpoint: F— you, you roadkill-munching, luddite, human Slim Jim. You’re gonna kill people,” he said.
Suffice to say, Kennedy’s claim about mRNA vaccines is not supported by any evidence. He is also a longstanding and well-documented opponent of live-saving vaccines generally.
Earlier in the monologue, Colbert talked at length about the ongoing Epstein Scandal, starting with the reported meeting of Trump officials to discuss strategy on the Epstein scandal, and he included a fun couch joke about Vice President JD Vance. He also talked about other Trump-related things. You can watch Colbert’s entire “The Late Show” monologue below:
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