put on a show |
Sort your love life with honest and practical tips from Denise Smith
‘We thought we were being pretty discreet but it turns out we put on bit of a show’
Dear Denise: I was bridesmaid at my best friend’s wedding last month and ended up getting so drunk that I had sex with her married uncle. I haven’t been able to climb out of the hole since and honestly think everyone hates me.
It was late after the residents’ bar and we snuck off to the bathroom.
We thought we were being pretty discreet but it turns out we put on bit of a show.
His wife, who he told me he was separated from, wasn’t in attendance — thankfully. My best friend won’t answer my calls.
I want to relocate to a remote cabin in the woods and never return again.
Answer: I understand why you would want to disappear from the grid, but running from your problems isn’t going to help anyone. It was your best friend’s wedding and you may have played a role in causing upset.
While you’re entitled to let your hair down, you might have put your friend in a very awkward and difficult situation. Give her the time and space she deserves to navigate this chapter and don’t bombard her with texts and calls.
The uncle may have said he was separated, but having sex in a toilet at your closest friend’s wedding wasn’t exactly respectful.
With honesty, patience, and respect, you can rebuild your friendship.
Make sure you have someone you can talk to, or book in with a therapist if you’re struggling.
Query: I slept with a guy and he’s ghosted me, but still looks at all my stories and likes my Instagram posts. Is this not psychotic?
Answer: Ah, welcome to the world of ‘orbiting’ where someone will hover without engaging, just to keep you as an option. I recommend blocking him now.
Query: MY new boyfriend asked me if I ever watched porn or used a vibrator and I lied and said no. Now I feel guilty.
Answer: You don’t have to tell your other half everything. It’s telling that you don’t feel comfortable yet to share everything, and that’s OK. Go at your own pace.
Email your problems to: Denise Smith denise.smith@sundayworld.com