Pope Leo XIV turned down the exciting opportunity to attend President Donald Trump’s celebration of America’s 250th himself. And at this point, it looks a lot like the pope, who is from America, is waiting out the current administration, and good on him. All Pope Leo has said is that he hopes to make it home within “a couple of years.”
And of course, Very Special Catholic Convert JD Vance met the head of the global church when he was tasked with being Trump’s errand boy and extending the big birthday bash invite, but other than that, Vance does not really seem to have captured the pontiff’s attention. It must infuriate both Trump and Vance that Leo makes time to meet with famous people who are not Trump, but that’s because those people do not suck.
Cartoon by David HorseyDavid Horsey/Tribune Content Agency
In July of this year, he met with proto-punk icon Patti Smith, a fellow Chicagoan, in a private audience at the Vatican that another attendee described as “a long audience that felt more like a conversation between two people discovering they were old friends, sharing memories woven from words and music, dreams, visions, and hopes—both from yesterday and for today.”
Smith isn’t the only musician the Supreme Pontiff vibes with. For the sixth annual Vatican’s Concert for the Poor, he specially requested that Canadian crooner Michael Bublé perform and sing “Ave Maria,” which was a favorite of Pope Leo’s mother, Mildred Prevost.
What? How dare he not invite Trump for this! “Ave Maria” is one of Trump’s fuckin’ jams. Remember how he showed up on the campaign trail in Pennsylvania and just swayed to his fave tracks for like 40 minutes? Damn right that included “Ave Maria.”
So, folks, you have a choice. You could listen to Bublé sing this gorgeously, directly to the Pope:
Or you could listen to the version Christopher Macchio sang for Trump at Freedom 250. Macchio is the Trump stan who gave himself the moniker of “America’s Presidential Tenor,” which is just pathetic. Yes, if you’ve ever wished one of the classic sacred hymns was prefaced by a bunch of jingoist goobers yelling “USA! USA!” you are in luck:
Last November, he hosted dozens of cinema stars at the Vatican for the “Audience of His Holiness Pope Leo XIV with the World of Cinema.” He called on them to include marginalized voices in their art, a thing that would infuriate Trump if he was paying attention. How dare the pope do a DEI like this?
Director Spike Lee brought Leo a personalized New York Knicks jersey, which the pope graciously accepted even though he’s a Chicago Bulls fan, natch. At the same event, he chatted with actress Cate Blanchett.
He’s hosted Olympic athletes and Pulitzer Prize-winning authors. How dare he not invite the winner of the inaugural FIFA Peace Prize!
Longtime Trump nemesis Robert De Niro actually had a private audience, during which the pontiff also gifted him a rosary.
And another longtime Trump nemesis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, shared the stage with Pope Leo at, horror of horrors if you’re Trump and Vance, an international conference on “Raising Hope for Climate Justice.”
And sorry, no photos available, but the most nemesis-y of cultural nemeses these days for MAGA types and Trump in particular, Bad Bunny, got to meet Pope Leo earlier this summer when they were both in Madrid. Two titans of culture, neither of whom has the time of day for Trump. You genuinely love to see it.
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