Caleb Clarke believes he was fortunate to suffer the injury that prevented him starting for the All Blacks against France last month because he was suffering from a lack of confidence after a dangerous driving charge.
Speaking to 1News today ahead of his scheduled appearance for Auckland against Waikato at Eden Park on Sunday, Clarke said a high ankle sprain in training in Wellington on the eve of the second Test gave him more time to reflect. He said he realised his confidence was still low from his brush with police in December last year.
In June, on the same day he was named in the first All Blacks squad of the year, Clarke was discharged without conviction after pleading guilty to dangerous driving and failing to stop for police in Auckland but was disqualified from driving for 12 months.
He said his actions and the charge weighed heavily on him and his family.
“I’ve said to a few loved ones that it was quite a blessing in disguise that I got injured when I did,” Clarke said. “I was ready to go for the All Blacks but I knew there was a part that I needed to find – and being injured gave me the time to find it.
‘Just couldn’t focus’ – Caleb Clarke’s candid comments following court appearance – watch the story on TVNZ+
“I put rugby down as the fourth most important thing for me. It’s family, faith and friends [first]. What happened off the field affected all three of them. Hearing how what happened affected all three of them – and my family, especially my little brothers, was tough to hear.
“It was the unknown and being unsure what was going to happen and what the outcome would be [that was the hardest].
“I lost confidence and I couldn’t focus on day-to-day activities because my mind was so far ahead and that was my fault. it was all on me and making that mistake that night back in December.
“The best thing I can say is I’ve learned from that and I learned not to make impulsive decisions. I know that being in the unknown can shock me to my core. Now that I’ve moved past it, I’m so excited to get out there and play.
“I’ve grown and learned and am ready to have some fun.”
Clarke, 26, is preparing for his first game for Auckland in the NPC since 2020 and said he was also in top physical shape after losing weight.
He said his form for the Blues in Super Rugby was not where he wanted it to be as the defending champions were knocked out by the Crusaders at the semifinal stage.
“This year has been such a rollercoaster for myself,” he said. “I can say that that Super season was not the best. Being in the All Blacks and around the boys who continually push you and compete got me to the point where I was ready to go. Being injured put me in a better place than I was.
“I’ve got that enjoyment back and freedom. Being with the Auckland boys… it’s a young crew. Looking around the group there are probably only five or six of us that are over 24 or 25. Finding new ways to lead… I’m just itching to go and have some fun.”
Clarke’s upbeat frame of mind will be music to the ears of All Blacks head coach Scott Robertson, who may be weighing up starting him on the left wing a week later at the same venue against the Springboks.
The All Blacks were second-best in the kicking game during their defeat to Argentina last weekend – both chasing and receiving – and that is a strength of Clarke’s.
“I think people underestimate the contest in the air and how much it impacts the game… it favours the team that kicks it and not many people realise that,” he said.
“It’s a part of the game I quite enjoy.”
Asked whether he hoped to be back in black against the Boks after returning to the blue and white hoops of Auckland, who have struggled so far this season, he said: “I’m not too sure – I’m more focused on this week. Hopefully I’ll be in the environment. If I am, I’ll help get the boys ready.”