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88 min Change for Celtic: McCowan for Hatate.
87 min Maeda gets in front of Bajrami, who wants a penalty; nothing doing. Then Djiga hurtles into Shin and is booked.
85 min A silly foul allows Tavernier to swing over yet another dead ball; Hatate head behind for yet another corner. This time, he picks out the man defending the near post, and Celtic clear once more. I can’t remember the last game I saw of such inspirational awfulness.
83 min Bajrami moves down the left and wins a corner off Ralston and Tavernier swings into the near post, nice and flat, but Celtic clear, counter, and Diomande makes an important challenge.
82 min “The Dundee derby will be better, that’s a cast iron (Guardian) guarantee™️,” returns Simon McMahon. “If you can watch it, please do. As long you’re a United supporter, of course.”
80 min Nygren moves through midfield, spreads left, and a foul from Gassama means Celtic have a free-kick. But not before Rangers make another two changes, Rothwell replacing the injured Barron and Curtis on for Gassama.
77 min Schmeichel clips a dangerous pass to Scales, who does pretty well to kill it. That could have been dangerous, which makes it a highlight.
75 min Another change for Rangers: Bajrami replaces Aasgaard, who looks to have taken a knock.
74 min How many different ways can we find of saying how bad this is? Well, Made in America was better.
Updated at 08.38 EDT
72 min Two changes for Rangers, Dessers and Antman replacing Miovski and Moore, while Celtic give Saracchi a debut, in place of Tierney.
Updated at 08.51 EDT
71 min Better from Celtic, Forrest sliding a really good ball in behind for Shin … but he can’t quite take it into his stride so it runs away.
70 min Celtic win a corner down the left, their first of the match, and Nygren picks out Moore on the edge, who clears. Great stuff.
68 min Oooh, with Butland about to collect a ball and nae pressure, Djiga humps it out of play; naturally, Celtic give it straight back.
67 min Diomande is late on Ralston and booked – for persistent fouling, not the offence itself.
Updated at 08.29 EDT
67 min Forrest will, I imagine, look to run at Meghoma, but can Celtic get him the ball in space?
65 min Two changes for Celtic, Yamada and Forrest replacing Engels and Balikwisha.
64 min Nygren teases in, McGregor bundles back across, and someone, Maeda I think, heads goalwards … but Butland saves easily.
63 min Another poor corner is cleared, then Celtic counter and Moore slides in late on Nygren; he’s booked. Free-kick, left of centre, 30 yards out.
61 min Miovski pin Scales, knowing if he can get to the ball first, the foul will come. That’s exactly what happens and Tavernier will swing in the free-kick … which is cleared. But the ball comes back, Aasgaard lofting over the top for Miovski, who might go for goal but instead heads back across, and Celtic put it behind.
60 min Engels to Hatate, just outside the box, and he sweeps a low shot that, though too close to Butland, is Celtic’s first shot on target.
58 min A long ball over the top seeking Milovski, again, Scales heads behind, and again, the corner comes to nothing. Rangers, at least, are trying to make something happen; I’ve not a clue what Celtic’s plan is.
57 min A match likely to contain some actual football.
56 min Diomande hauls Engels down in centrefield, well off the ball, and does well to avoid a booking.
55 min Nygren picks up a loose ball, 25 yards out, and lamps way over the top.
53 min Excellent from Gassama, who goes at Tierney, bounces him away from the ball, and crosses low … but Scales, who’s actually played OK, taking responsibility for protecting his penalty area, stretches to deflect to safety.
53 min “As a football fan in California,” says Mary Waltz, “of course I set the alarm for zero dark thirty for the Old Firm, the passion, one of the greatest derbies in world football, right? And the only struggle I am witnessing is my own struggle to stay awake. I can only consume so much coffee.”
It’s just about to explode…
52 min Celtic take a quick free-kick down the left, then Hatate crosses straight to Butland.
51 min A visual representation of Celtic’s performance:
Photograph: Jane Barlow/PAShare
50 min Aagaard looks to spread for Diomande … but needlessly gives a simple pass way too much. That’s where we are.
48 min I guess a draw isn’t a bad result for Celtic, but so far their performance has been rotten. As I type, Tierney is in quickly to hoof away Meghoma’s cross, and I guess they’ve defended the box in reasonable fashion, but everything else has been of the lowest standard imaginable.
47 min But this is a little bit better, Moore zipping in from the left, across the face of the Celtic defence, before leathering a shot well over the bar.
47 min Meghoma into Moore … whose first touch goes into touch.
46 min We go again.
Back come wa teams. Will either of them do anything?
Celtic, we’re told, aren’t making any changes at the break. I don’t think it’ll be long, though, if they don’t improve quickly.
Half-time entertainment: a read on one of the most ridiculous football stories there is.
ShareHALF-TIME: Rangers 0-0 Celtic
A devastatingly despicable half of football. Rangers were by far the better team despite creating almost nothing; the least said about Celtic the better.
45+4 min Celtic spread to Balikwisha, again he crosses when he might go at his man, and Rangers clear.
45+2 min “So far as I can tell, the two cheeks are jointly playing some of the lower-quality Premiership football this season,” writes James Humphries. :Hibs have looked great and had a good go at Europe, the Jambos have been entertaining and of course the mighty Well have done everything except actually win a game with our lovely possession football. It’s actually a really good season so far!
Long may the travails of the Big Clubs continue (and yes I know there’s a wider conversation about Scottish football to be had here), but commiserations you have to watch what sounds like the worst game of the weekend.”
I’m enjoying it. So bad it’s good dreadful, which is, of course, an enduring charm of the beautiful game.
45 min We’ll have four additional minutes and Diomande begins them by escaping Nygren down the left. He crosses, and Celtic clear.
43 min This time, Barron takes it, and again, Celtic clear. They still, though, can’t get the ball forward.
42 min There’s a break in play as Maeda receives attention for an inadvertent frask in pisk; when it resumes, Tavernier swings over a free-kick from the right, which goes behind for a corner.
40 min Rangers have been the better side, such that there is one, dominating territory. It looks like each side has 67 players on the pitch, each of them wearing diving boots.
39 min Tavernier trips over his own feet, Balikwisha collects, and crosses to naebody. So far, he’s fitting in perfectly.
35 min The cross from Tavernier was the only moment of quality we’ve seen so far today. It’s a long time since I watched so poor a game, which is not to say the fare is unenjoyable. But it’d be interesting to see some football at some point.
ShareNO GOAL! Rangers 0-0 Celtic
I baulk at saying this, but I don’t think anyone, not even Rangers fans, can argue that Souttar wasn’t offside. The evidence is clear.
Rangers’ John Souttar puts the ball in the net but the goal is ruled out for offside following a VAR review. Photograph: Lee Smith/Action Images/ReutersShare
Updated at 07.52 EDT
33 min I think he was, you know – he went just a little early, leaning ahead of the line, and though it was a good header I don’t think this is going to count.
33 min But was Souttar offside?
ShareGOAL! Rangers 1-0 Celtic (Souttar 32)
This time, the delivery is spot-on, curling in, and Souttar races in to head past Schmeichel, who races out to get nowhere near the ball.
32 min Ralston concedes a free-kick for a cramp football-style foul – that’s a harsh call – on Aasgaard, and Tavernier has a third chance to flight a telling ball into the box…
30 min “Evie and Ryan were in Luxembourg and Vienna,” returns Simon McMahon, “they’re proper diehards. Derby day is like no other, and thankfully we don’t have the baggage that the Glasgow teams do, will be having a pint with my Dundee-supporting friends after the game, win, lose or draw. But as a United fan, as I think Cloughie once said, I don’t care how you do it, just win.”
One thing, by the way, the Dundee sides share: blinding mid-80s kits.
29 min But this is slightly better, Aasgaard sliding in behind for Tavernier, whose cut-back is kicked behind by Scales. The resultant corner comes to nowt.
27 min Even for an Old Firm game, this is chaotic and basic. Neither side has yet to demonstrate anything beyond chasing, but Tvernier has another chance to put a ball into the box from a free-kick … and picks out Carter-Vickers.
25 min One of the things I enjoy about Ibrox is that everyone is stood up, all around the ground. Old Trafford was like that in the 70s, and 80s, with terraces on all four sides, and Elland Road still does a pretty good job on good days. The football, such as it is, remains of an agricultural nature.
Updated at 07.26 EDT
23 min A bit of Celtic possession, as aimless as all that’s preceded it. But Nygren then wriggles a bit of room, Ralston crosses … and picks out Butland.
21 min He looks for the far side of the box and a knock across, but the flag goes up and Celtic clear.
20 min Moore moves through midfield but, with no one ahead of him, he has to turn back to Diomande. So Rangers build again, Tavernier into Aasgaard, central and 40 yards out; he wins a free-kick and the Rangers captain will stick a ball into the box.
19 min Gassama moves down the right, but Tierney stands him up and sees him away.
17 min Engels flips out to Balikwisha, whose cross is headed clear. That was a chance to attack Meghoma, but he took the conservative option.