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More men need to stand up for survivors and show support and solidarity, according to people who marched against gender-based violence in Charlottetown on Wednesday night.
The Take Back The Night march in downtown Charlottetown drew more than 100 people. Those who marched held signs reading “Your story matters” and “Stand with survivors” while chanting, “Who keeps us safe? We keep us safe.”
But many of the people who took part were women or members of the LGBTQ2S+ community.
“You’ll look around at an event like this and it’s predominantly women and feminized people, queer folks, trans folks,” said Samantha Bitty, a sexual health and consent educator from Toronto who took part in the event.
“What we really need are attention and eyes and intention from the folks that are disproportionately responsible for causing this type of harm.”
“The most important space for us to be having those conversations is for men to be having them in men’s spaces,” said Anastasia Preston, the trans community outreach co-ordinator at PEERS Alliance.
‘I think a lot of times events like this are for us … those of us who are survivors, those of us who are allies, those of us who are doing the work and trying to change,’ says Samantha Bitty. (Tony Davis/CBC)
A topic discussed at the event was consent.
Some of those conversations have been prompted by stories circulating online, such as the alleged rape case involving seven former students at Cornell University, now dubbed “the Cornell 7.”
Kyra Barlow, with the P.E.I. Rape and Sexual Assault Centre, helped lead the march. She said it’s important to start conversations about consent early.
“Our children are living in a different age where media and the internet and everything influences everything that they say and do,” she said.
“If we don’t provide that education and knowledge at a really, really young age, then that’s where we start finding that as children get older that these things start happening from, you know, a lack of understanding of what consent actually is.”
‘Gender-based violence affects all of us, it affects men, it affects women,’ says Anastasia Preston, the trans community outreach co-ordinator for PEERS Alliance. (Steve Bruce/CBC)
Barlow thinks of something her mother used to say when it comes to consent.
“If you ask to borrow my car today, I say yes, it doesn’t mean tomorrow morning you can take it without my permission.”
Preston, Bitty and Barlow were all quick to note that gender-based violence also happens to men.
“Gender-based violence affects all of us, it affects men, it affects women,” Preston said, adding that misogyny ideals in society hurt everyone too.
“They hurt women, they hurt men, because they don’t allow men to have a natural range of feelings and this is part of why we have a male suicide epidemic because men are taught their feelings make them weak.”
‘There are a lot of people who are speaking up saying, ‘Yes, I have experienced this,” says Kyra Barlow, with the P.E.I. Rape and Sexual Assault Centre. (Gwyneth Egan/CBC)
For Bitty, the event is also about solidarity.
“I think a lot of times events like this are for us … those of us who are survivors, those of us who are allies, those of us who are doing the work and trying to change,” she said.
“Just so that we see each other and come together and experience that solidarity — because ultimately, we keep us safe and we do that by taking care of each other.”
Barlow believes that while gender-based violence continues, things are getting better.
“There are a lot of people who are speaking up saying, ‘Yes, I have experienced this.’ From those people speaking up and saying those things happened and removing some of the guilt and shame, it has helped other people also reconcile some of the experiences they had and have an understanding that it’s not their fault.”
The march closed out Sexual Assault Awareness Week, but there will be another Take Back The Night event in western P.E.I. later this month.