Thomas Tuchel has picked his 24-man England squad for the September World Cup qualifiers against Andorra and Serbia and there’s probably less to grumble about than his first two attempts.

There’s no Ivan Toney or Kyle Walker, at least. And a penny for the thoughts of Liverpool fans who previously couldn’t get their head around the idea of Trent Alexander-Arnold not being the first name on the team-sheet. They’ll now be delighted by the rat’s exclusion, we imagine.

But there are still a few who can count themselves lucky to be included on the back of inauspicious starts to the season or because they’re a 35-year-old has-been.

Before we get into the fortunate five, here’s the squad in full:

 

Goalkeepers: Dean Henderson (Crystal Palace), Jordan Pickford (Everton), James Trafford (Manchester City)

Defenders: Dan Burn (Newcastle), Marc Guehi (Crystal Palace), Reece James (Chelsea), Ezri Konsa (Aston Villa), Myles Lewis-Skelly (Arsenal), Tino Livramento (Newcastle), Djed Spence (Tottenham), John Stones (Manchester City)

Midfielders: Elliot Anderson (Nottingham Forest), Morgan Gibbs-White (Nottingham Forest), Jordan Henderson (Brentford), Declan Rice (Arsenal), Morgan Rogers (Aston Villa), Adam Wharton (Crystal Palace)

Forwards: Jarrod Bowen (West Ham), Eberechi Eze (Arsenal), Anthony Gordon (Newcastle), Harry Kane (Bayern Munich), Noni Madueke (Arsenal), Marcus Rashford (Barcelona), Ollie Watkins (Aston Villa)

 

Jordan Henderson

It’s got to the point where we’re starting to wonder what Henderson has on Tuchel as a means to blackmail him into picking him for England squads.

“He embodies everything,” Tuchel said when the perplexed gathered press questioned his selection back in March. “He is a serial winner, his personality and character. He is the glue in every team that he has played, the glue that makes things special.”

If Tuchel doesn’t see Henderson misplacing his moral compass and ending up in Saudi Arabia as cause not to select him then fine, but picking him on pure sporting merit is arguably worse. He’s started one of three games for Brentford this season and – according to the WhoScored ratings – was the worst Bees player on the pitch in that victory over Aston Villa.

Is Tuchel really thinking a 35-year-old Henderson might be in his World Cup squad? It’s a horribly uninspiring selection and a missed opportunity to give Bournemouth’s Alex Scott or Tottenham’s Archie Gray a taste of senior England action.

READ MORE: England World Cup ladder makes us almost cry as Henderson too high for comfort

Jarrod Bowen

To be clear, we’ve got a lot of time for Jarrod Bowen. We wouldn’t wish the West Ham captaincy on anyone at the best of times, let alone at a point when he appears to be just about the only player in the squad who gives a shiny sh*t whether they win, lose or draw. He is very clearly too good for them.

But after one goal and no assists in 620 minutes of action for England, having been left out of Tuchel’s last squad, he must know as well as anyone that he’s at the bottom of this pecking order, wouldn’t be in the squad without the injury to Bukayo Saka and is nothing more than a warm body while we wait for the first call-ups for Rio Ngumoha, Max Dowman or some alternative child.

 

Ollie Watkins

He’s done absolutely nothing this season to suggest he should be the Harry Kane backup, but in a mad world bereft of even half-decent strikers which has seen Manchester United sign one for £66m who’s scared of penalties and Newcastle pay £73m for their seventh-choice option who was watching from the bench at Stuttgart this time last year, Watkins need only be fit (or at least playing) to be selected as things stand.

Hope that a Kane regen would emerge from the England striker drudgery took a significant blow when Chelsea signed Joao Pedro immediately after prising Liam Delap away from Ipswich this summer, while Richarlison’s ousting of a perennially half-fit Dominic Solanke at Tottenham has left Tuchel with little option but to plump for Watkins again.

 

Marcus Rashford

“I think Marcus had some situations in the first half where he showed how good he is and how he can help us,” Hansi Flick explained after he hooked his summer signing off at half-time with Barcelona 2-0 down to Levante, before a dramatic comeback without Rashford, and Raphinha back on the left, saw them turn it around to win 3-2.

That and a 20-minute cameo at centre-forward in their La Liga opener doesn’t represent the best of starts to life in Spain for the Manchester United defector; something of a blow to those of us hoping an outstanding season for one of the best teams on the planet would precede him tearing right-backs to shreds at the World Cup.

 

Anthony Gordon

Not so much lucky to be included after a second ridiculous red card in the space of six months – though if he does something similar in a World Cup knockout game there will be hell to pay – as lucky to be given the opportunity to play some football in the next month, with his next Newcastle game not until September 28 thanks to his three-game suspension.