Photo: Scott Kowalchyk/CBS
We are so back, baby. Well, we’re actually only partially back, baby. The network late-night shows have returned from summer hiatus — something that The Late Show reminded us is actually a new season of late night. You never think about late-night TV having seasons. It’s constant and cyclic and intermittently makes you cry, like menstruation. But the cable shows — your WWHLs and HIGNFYs, are still on a break. Still, it was good to get the boys back in town to cover Trump not dying. Stephen Colbert actually had to chastise his rambunctious audience about booing the fact the president is not dead. It just goes to show how much of an emotional-release valve these shows have become for people.
Speaking of rambunctious audiences, the crazy laudatory-clapping disease has infected the Jimmy Kimmel Live! audience over the break. Maybe everyone was just excited to get Kimmel instead of a guest host. Maybe Kimmel’s backing of Colbert in the Emmys race is paying off with the audience. Either way, Kimmel didn’t seem to love it, and he tried to shut it down. But people were too excited that late night was back. Baby.
Whenever a late-night show goes on a break, it gets to bring back one story from the hiatus period when hosting resumes. It’s like a souvenir but the news. Jimmy Kimmel picked the Cracker Barrel logo controversy. He pointed out how many white-guy corporate logos still have not been erased by the woke mind virus, and wow, it is wild seeing them all together. Kimmel is consistently good at long-list comedy; his supercuts of politicians saying dumb shit are always timed just long enough to work. Ditto for this seemingly endless list of white corporate mascots. And the segment taught me something new: The NBA logo is white and named Jerry. The more you know.
Who stabbed Louis Cato? It’s a question that will echo down the ages like “Who killed Laura Palmer?” Just kidding, but this was a fun way to remind everyone that The Late Show is ending/got hosed by the network like so many puzzle-box shows before it. Shout-out Late Show editors for reminding us all how many people Colbert has kissed. And double shout-out Louis Cato for being in on the multiple-POV-murders bit.
Thank goodness The Paper has already been renewed for a second season, because Sabrina Impacciatore needs to be on every chat show — both network and chicken-based! The White Lotus star was a ball of energy on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, shouting the host’s name with gusto as well as that of her In the Hand of Dante co-star Jason Momoa. Only with her accent, it sounds like she’s saying Jason Mwah-mwah. Which is great. He should consider changing it. And it’s spelled like two kissing emoji. Anyway, Impacciatore’s enthusiasm transcends any and all language barriers. Get her booked on Hot Ones, stat.
Oh, Seth Meyers loves to disappoint an audience so. On Thursday night’s A Closer Look, he did an act-out in which Trump was besties with Guy Fieri, and Guy Fieri was some sort of Disney villain slaughtering sweet donkeys for his patented Donkey Sauce. The audience balked at the initial premise, and in his Trump voice, Seth braced them for the sound effect that was to come. That’s the secret to longevity in comedy: You have to figure out how to romanticize the flops as much as the bops.
We’ve long been a fan of John Oliver’s guest spots on Bravo’s WWHL. But now he’s started spreading the good news about Mary Cosby, and that’s huge. Oliver returned to The Late Show to kick off Colbert’s final season right: with Champagne and compliments for any company other than CBS. If you hear Oliver’s pitch on The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and are unconvinced about the show’s status as a window into America’s fetid heart, I legitimately do not want to know you. He knows what he’s talking about, and Colbert is more than happy to give him the space to say it.