10.
“Let’s be realistic and say most people will need a facility eventually. (The exceptions are those who can afford increasing in-home medical care, or those who lose their health all at once and crash hard rather than slowly wither away over their last decade, like most of us will.) There will come a point where your family cannot reasonably care for you anymore. You will need ongoing medical care, people regularly checking your vitals, and likely high-support living care, like showering and dressing. Your loved ones will not have the time, energy, expertise, or resources to do this — especially while the other adults in a household are probably still working full-time, on top of raising children and all the other things life throws their way. We all know what the fantasy is when thinking about having your kids take care of you: relaxed around family in the comfort of your own home.”
“But what are you actually asking by expecting this when your kids openly do not want to do this? To ruin your relationship with your kids in the final years of your life. To build resentment between you, which you will, even if it goes unspoken, and your kids wishing they didn’t feel that. Is that really what you want?
I regularly see the retort, ‘Well, we took care of them as kids!’ Yeah, that was also your choice. You obviously decided you were in a position in life to raise children. They were not guilting you from the void to take on 20 years of their existence with no regard for whether you had the capacity to handle it. You had options.”