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While this month marks the 25th anniversary of the Sydney Olympics, it also marks the anniversary of the greatest show on TV: The Dream with Roy and HG. Running over two weeks, the late-night show on Channel Seven became a cult hit, as Rampaging Roy Slaven (John Doyle) and HG Nelson (Greig Pickhaver) turned the Games on their head, with their wild commentary, fat-arsed mascot and alternative anthem. They talk to national TV editor Louise Rugendyke about how they got away with it.
Hello! What is your first memory of the show?
HG: We were becalmed at the ABC. We’d run 130-plus shows of a scandalous, late-night variety show called Club Buggery, and the ABC, in its wisdom, wondered whether they wanted more of that, so we didn’t know what to do. Out of the blue, the head of Olympic coverage at Seven, Andy Kay, rang up and asked would we make a show. And I just looked at the phone, and I thought, “This person’s got to be joking.” And I said, “You know what you’re going to get?” And before I hung up, I said, “If you still want it in three weeks time, give us a ring.” And three weeks went by, and he did.
Roy and HG Nelson aka comedians John Doyle and Greig PickhaverCredit: James Brickwood
Roy: Well, my memory is [a manager at Seven called] Harold, who was a New Zealander with a very British view of sportscasting. And there were certain rules that he was very keen to hammer. And we went to a couple of meetings about do’s and don’ts, and the more we listened to the do’s and don’ts, the more we realised we were doing all the don’ts.
HG: And we still are!
Roy: So we nodded and took notes. And when we did our first couple of experiments as to what we’re going to do – I think in one of the calls, I’d called something a “Dutch wink” – and Harold looked at us and said, “Well, you’re not actually going to say that, are you?” and I said, “Well, it depends on the mood, on the time, on the day.” And he said,“OK. And you’re going to call various sports?” And we said, “Well, this is the intention. If we can get someone to cut it together, we will certainly call it.” And we left it at that.
That commentary of the men’s gymnastics went viral very early on – the Dutch wink, the crazy date, the flat bag – was that scripted or spontaneous?
Roy: It was all spontaneous.
HG: We invented the language by going for a cup of coffee in the IBC, the International Broadcast Centre, and trying to work out exactly how we’re going to do this in two hours’ time. The language of gymnastics largely follows the people who brought these spectacular moments to the event.
Roy: The Yurchenko [a series of vaults named after Soviet gymnast Natalia Yurchenko], for example.
HG: So we realised, well, if that’s the case, why don’t we make up all the terms? Because we had no idea what they were. And so, as we read along [to the footage], these things suggested themselves to us.
Roy: I remember it being a little bit unsure, we were a bit toe-in-the-water with the first couple of gymnastics calls, but by the end, we were really good at it and we knew what we were calling.
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HG: [Laughing] Exactly, we could see it coming.
There was a great running gag throughout, where you had Australian Olympic great Herb Elliott pretending he was trapped in the Olympic Village, Big Brother-style. Dawn Fraser appeared, so did Nadia Comăneci. Was it difficult talking all these big names into coming on?
Roy: Herb was very happy to do that for us. A memory of Herb was him driving us around in his Mercedes, which he was a little bit embarrassed about, and I was critical of the size of his glove box …
HG: Remember, of course, their world is something that you and I can’t imagine. So it’s a world that requires some leavening with humour. And they all get it, but I’ve got to be honest, the Billie Jean King story is the best bit of this, isn’t it?
Fatso the unofficial mascot of the Sydney Olympics
Roy: She was wonderful. We bumped into her in the IBC and we got to chatting, and she realised we had had a genuine enjoyment of tennis, so she was more than happy to come on the show. Entered into the spirit. She understood what we were doing. She got it completely.
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HG: She had this great comment, though. She said, “The Sydney Olympics are great. It’s going really well. We’re pleased with the conditions, the village and all that sort of stuff and the track. The only thing wrong with it is you.” And I looked at her and thought, “Hang on you, do you mean me or him?” And she said, “No, you, because all the athletes are rushing home. They won’t go to bed. They want to stay up and watch you guys before they go to bed.” We finished about 1am, which completely buggered up their training schedule. We were very taken by that.
Speaking of tennis, did you ever get Australian tennis stars Pat Rafter and Mark Philippoussis to smoke the peace pipe?
Roy: Well, no. Pat refused. I think the Poo was keen, but Pat wouldn’t smoke the peace pipe. I don’t know why, and I don’t know if that feud has ever been resolved.
HG: There’s still time!
William Kirby, Todd Pearson, Michael Klim (holding Fatso the Fat-Arsed Wombat) and Ian Thorpe celebrate their gold medal in the Men’s 4x200m relay.Credit: Allsport UK/ALLSPORT
Australian swimmer Michael Klim famously took your alternative Olympic mascot, Fatso the Fat-Arsed Wombat, with him onto the podium for the medal ceremony for the men’s 4×200-metre relay…
Roy: We had a producer, Edwina Throsby, who took it upon herself to try and inveigle Fatso into events. So she quietly asked Michael Klim if he’d mind holding Fatso, and he was more than happy to do so. That made Fatso real. And then others were very keen to get on the bandwagon to be seen with him. He ended up dancing on the dance floor with Thorpey.
At that point did you think, “What have we created with this show?”
Roy: Not really, because you didn’t have time to think about that. We’re just moving on to the next thing.
HG: Fatso was a handicap to us. He became bigger than us. He had a life long after the Olympics. They put him on a plinth [at Homebush], and he kept on being stolen, and eventually, he was stolen for the final time and turned up in the front yard of Matty Johns’ place. Hard to imagine, but true story. [Readers, as far as I can work out, this is not true. The original Fatso has yet to be located.]
The official Sydney 2000 mascots Olly, Syd and Millie, who Roy and HG renamed “Dickhead”.
And did the organisers ever say anything to you about renaming one of the Olympic mascots “Dickhead”?
Roy: We had no communication at all. There was just that very odd press conference that Liz Smylie gave where she said, “We had no issues with Fatso”, which was completely untrue. They were tearing their hair out and worried because they paid so many millions for the Boxing Kangaroo to Alan Bond, so Fatso became a real bloody pain in the ass.
HG: We do historically have a great dislike of Olympic mascots. My best bit is that Geraldine Brooks, a very famous writer, said she achieved a lifetime dream of getting the word “arse” on the front page of The New York Times when she wrote an item about the Sydney Olympics and said the best mascot is Fatso the Fat-Arsed Wombat.
You said you were too busy putting the show together to realise how popular it was, but there must have been a point when you realised it had become a phenomenon.
Roy: I was pretty much in a bubble for that period. We finished at 1am, got to bed about 3am and then back, starting to talk to each other about what’s in the show, at 9am. There was no time to…
HG: … Savour it. There were odd things. I remember Johnny Farnham turning up on the final night to sing Go You Good Thing, and that’s when I thought, this has reached an audience beyond what we can see here.
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Is Sydney still the greatest Games ever?
Roy: Oh yeah. Without doubt.
HG: His excellency, Juan Antonio Samaranch…
Roy: Who knows Games …
HG: He said it was, and I would never argue with him.
Will you be back for the Brisbane Games in 2032?
Roy: It would be nice to imagine that there’ll be something to call in Brisbane. I mean, nothing’s been built yet…
HG: What we’re interested in, is the rowing in Cairns or Townsville, if that goes ahead. We’ll certainly be covering the crocs.
Bludging on the Blindside with Rampaging Roy Slaven and HG Nelson airs on Saturdays at 10am on ABC Sport.
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