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Meredith from Oregon wrote a letter to a recent “The Ramsey Show” about a tough situation. The divorced mom of three adult sons said she earns about $48,000 a year, and while her two youngest boys, ages 22 and 19, still live at home, they only occasionally contribute to the household bills. When they fall short, she ends up covering the rest.
‘Hard Conversation Season’
Meredith explained that she tried asking them to pay a set amount each month instead of picking up random bills, but they insisted they couldn’t afford it. “I know they do,” she wrote, “but they have other money priorities.” While her home is paid off, she admitted that her income doesn’t go far enough to support everyone.
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Co-host John Delony said the heart of the problem is that her sons aren’t experiencing real adulthood because she’s protecting them from it. “You’re keeping your boys around because you want them around and you need them around financially,” he said. “They know you’re not going to kick them out.”
He quoted psychologist Henry Cloud, saying, “The greatest gift these boys could get is some problems.” Delony explained that the sons need to understand “the weight of the squat bar that is real life—light bills, water bills, rent, or you don’t live here.”
Delony also pointed out that Meredith’s financial situation needs attention. “Forty-eight grand a year isn’t cutting it,” he said. Even with a paid-off house, she may need to earn more or downsize. “If you need them as renters and you need that income, it just points to a bigger problem that is not the children’s fault,” co-host George Kamel added.
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Both hosts agreed that Meredith’s current setup isn’t sustainable. “It’s hard-conversation season,” Delony said, urging her to set clear boundaries: either the boys start paying consistent rent or move out within a set timeline, like six months.
Delony also noted the emotional side of the issue. “If all three of those boys moved out to start their life, that house would be really quiet and it’s lonely,” he said.
Kamel added that it’s time for honesty. He said Meredith should let her sons know that if they can’t contribute consistently, she may have to find other renters who can, because she can’t afford to keep carrying the burden alone.
Delony closed by saying it’s a painful situation, but one that must be faced. “I can’t wrap my head around being 24 and still just crashing,” he said. “I can’t wrap my head around watching my mom suffer, and I’m living there and be like, ‘No, dude. I don’t have the money,’ and her knowing you did, but you chose to go out with your buddies or you chose to get a fancier new cell phone or whatever.”
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This article A Dave Ramsey Caller Can’t Get Her Adult Sons To Contribute To The Household Regularly. ‘They Know You’re Not Going To Kick Them Out’ originally appeared on Benzinga.com