Justin wrote some lengthy responses to the group chat
Just fifteen minutes later, Justin responded with a lengthy reply.
Justin wrote, “Sorry for not giving an update. Last night was one of the hardest nights of my life. It’s hard to describe what happened exactly. The only way to describe it was an ambush. I had no words I couldn’t formulate sentences. My brain was trying to defend itself when they were needing me to apologize for all of the ways I have fucked up and made her feel unsafe. Ryan was talking to me like a five-year-old and scolding me, They essentially said that Jamey and I are not who we claimed to be and that for us to have a podcast is unsafe because it makes people feel like we are safe. I was read from a phone all of the things that I did while many of them were based in actual situations. The events were wrong and things were taken completely out of context. The word creepy and abuse were used in reference to me in my behavior I was then given the words of what to say, and had to apologize which I was unable to do because my brain was trying to comprehend what was happening.”
He continued, “I was in shock and basically went into feeling like I was a seven-year-old again when I got home last night. I was emotionally paralyzed. It was as bad as it sounds. Jamey did a beautiful job apologizing I did not have the words. I was embarrassed for myself as it happened in front of the team, but I was embarrassed that I was unable to even formulate the correct words to apologize and honestly just feel like a bad person. its hard to feel so much of what they believe about me is false because they are so convinced that it’s real. Looking for the nuggets of learning which there are many and somehow have showed up today. Thanks to Jamey and my wife and we are currently shooting. I love you all.”
“My brain was struggling because what I wanted to say, and do was run and blow this whole movie up because I feel this was so unjust and yet the only path forward was to acknowledge her and Ryan’s feelings and apologize and take the wrath of an angry husband- yeah, I couldn’t even do that correctly. I prayed and prayed and prayed for the words and I didn’t come so I felt abandoned by God in that moment even though I know that’s not what happened. We were told this was the worst experience of her life and others have witnessed this behavior, and the behavior on our set was creepy. I was emotionally paralyzed, which is something I have an experienced in years.”
“@rainn- imagine that meeting all those years ago at Soul Pancake with golriz but times that by about 100. I spoke to my therapist for an hour, and she tried to get me out of the haze as I literally could not get myself off the couch. I don’t know how I will make it through, but I know that I will, and just knowing you’re all there from me means the world to me because even with Jamey here and my wife and family I’ve never felt so alone. Putting a smile on doing my best to lead the crew. I will unpack and process this when we wrap of course. I apologize for the vulnerability dump. This is one of the few safe spaces I have right now. I love you all and thank you for your prayers.”
“Sorry for my dictation grammar. I’m in between shots.”
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