This is Oscar Piastri’s Boxing Day Test. His AFL grand final. His Melbourne Cup on wheels. Potentially, his Ash Barty moment. A rad, mad 330km/h dash around his hometown streets that carries more meaning to the supposedly emotionless young fellow than any other race on Formula One’s wild and precious calendar.
Few Australian athletes are household names. Piastri’s become one of ’em. As recognisable by moniker as Margot Robbie, and Albo, and Steven Peter Devereux Smith, and probably Gout Gout, and I’m probably forgetting a few, but Nicole Kidman, too, and Chrissy Hems, which is what cool people like us call Chris Hemsworth. I reckon you could pull into the Oodnadatta Roadhouse in the South Australian outback and mention Piastri and everyone would nod and say, “What a nice young bloke.”
That’s the rap on Piastri as we put on our fanciest pants, and shiniest shoes, and most colourful shirt, and get a haircut, and visit the spa, and the sauna, and the solarium, and suck in our stomachs, and pout, and strike a pose, there’s nothing to it, and stride towards this week’s Australian Grand Prix.
Journalists say it about Piastri. What a nice young bloke. Other drivers say it. What a nice young bloke. Lando Norris says it. What a nice young bloke and teammate. Zak Brown definitely says it. What a nice and accommodating young bloke when it comes to team orders. My own mum says it. That Oscar Piastri seems like a nice young bloke. His own mum must say it. Jeez, Oscar, you sure are a nice young bloke. What we don’t know is this. Is he too nice a bloke to be world champion?
First things first. His home GP. He grew up so close to the track he could hear the thrum and thunder of the engines when F1 was in town. He’s a cricket nerd, and sporting enthusiast, and how he would love to whack on the pads and walk out to bat on December 26 at the MCG, or ride the winner at Flemington on the first Tuesday in November, or kick a matchwinner after the hooter to win the AFL flag for Richmond, or flog a forehand to lift the Norman Brookes Challenge Cup inside Rod Laver Arena, but the born-and-mostly-bred Melburnian will have to content himself with jumping behind the wheel of a McLaren MCL40 and fanging it around the neighbourhood. He barely makes an appearance in the latest season of the Netflix documentary, Drive To Survive, too shy and adverse to self-promotion, and not enough of a blabbermouth, but admits, “I think every driver wants to win their home race. If I had to pick one on the calendar, yes, Melbourne would be it.”
He’ll be emotional enough if he wins it. His down-to-earthiness reminds me of Barty, and victory at the Australian GP will be celebrated by the masses as heartily as her triumph at the Australian Open. More often than not he’s straighter than Elliot Goblet, going berserk on the inside, and tells Netflix. “I’m not an overly emotional person. Full stop. Emotions rarely help you solve problems.”
He couldn’t solve the problem of Melbourne’s torrential wet weather when he skidded off the track and fell back to a disastrous ninth at last year’s GP. He was second and gaining ground on Norris when everything went pear-shaped. He would have claimed 25 championship points if he took the chequered flag. Was set to score 18 at worst. He received only two. It was a 16-point-swing, at least, and he lost the championship by 13 points. Melbourne did him in.
What a nice young bloke. Too nice? Perhaps he should have told everyone at McLaren to get stuffed when he led the championship by a whopping 34 points after the Dutch Grand Prix in August. He couldn’t lose from there. Shouldn’t lose from there. Was he too agreeable to race for himself and himself alone?
I put the “too nice” thing to Piastri at last year’s Monaco Grand Prix. For a second, his eyes grew large and he seemed affronted. I wanted him to roar, piss off! Then throw furniture across the McLaren garage, which, apropos of nothing, had the look and feel of an Ikea showroom.
He grinned, because he’s a nice young bloke, and said: “The idea of nice guys, tough guys – I think racing is an interesting sport where you can almost be two polar opposites. Who you are in the car, and who you are out of the car, can be very different. I do think I’m a pretty nice guy in day-to-day life. In the car, it’s not so much about being tough or being a bad guy. It’s about being decisive and aggressive … and being smart. I’m not here to prove how tough I am. I’m here to drive race cars and win.”
He added: “Outside of racing, when I need to put my foot down, I’ll put my foot down. It’s just that when you’re in a race car, you need that mindset the entire time. I don’t find that to be difficult. In all honesty, I don’t think there’s too much difference in toughness between drivers. I don’t know what’s really going on in anyone else’s car, and nobody really knows what’s going on in mine. It’s impossible to say how tough anyone actually is. I’m tough enough.”
The Australian GP will start with a giant question mark dangling from the sky. If anyone truly understands the technical changes that make this year a clean slate in F1, flick me an email. Ferrari and Mercedes had the most impressive cars at pre-season testing, ahead of McLaren and Red Bull, and I have a sneaking suspicion Charles Leclerc will be world champ if the Scuderia give him some decent wheels. The fear for Piastri is that last year was the best shot he’ll ever have. And he didn’t shoot it. His biggest win was The Don Award … which is what they give you when you’re a nice young bloke in defeat.
Read related topics:Ashleigh Barty
Will SwantonSport Reporter