If you’re over the age of 30 and have watched a bit of footy, you’ve probably got your favourite Cometti-ism.
Mine came in September 1992, when he described Peter Wilson and his efforts to regain his footing as akin to “a cork in the ocean”, before he kicked a miracle goal over his head in the AFL Grand Final.
Looking back on that passage of play, it seems there is no more apt description of the action — Wilson did, at that moment, resemble a cork in the ocean, bobbing back up to his feet after being tripped.
It was a moment of pure commentary genius, but there were so many of them you could have published a book. (In 2004, in fact, someone did.)
Dennis Cometti, who has passed away at the age of 76, had more great lines than Hemingway.
Centimetre perfect
Cometti was the finest commentator in sport.
No-one saw a game of football better than him, and his gift for describing the action with a turn of phrase that would bring a smile, a chuckle or a twinkle in the eye was unparalleled.
He is famous for coining the phrase “centimetre perfect”, but according to the man himself, its origins are banal.
Dennis Cometti earned the respect of all he worked with throughout a 50-year media career. (Getty Images: Morne de Klerk)
“I don’t think it was ever that clever,” he told the AFL website in 2020 on his induction into the Australian Football Hall of Fame.
“When I was a boy, I used to say ‘inch perfect’, and so to be with the times, I had to change it to ‘centimetre perfect’, so that was something I never understood, as to the reaction.”
Such was his impact that the media centre at Perth Stadium is named after him.
‘I’ve lost something truly precious’: McAvaney mourns great mate Cometti
The bar he, along with his long-time broadcast partner Bruce McAvaney, set was so high that an entire generation of AFL callers has not got close to surpassing it.
And what a voice — a rich, sonorous baritone you could listen to all day.
Unlike many of the shouters that call the game today who, to butcher a line from Spinal Tap, leave it cranked up to 11 all the time, Cometti only raised his voice when the moment truly demanded it.
He was a proud West Australian, remaining based in the state even at the height of his fame, and he had the frequent flyer miles to prove it.
A life in football
As a boy Cometti would head to Subiaco Oval with his father to cheer on East Fremantle.
“I think most of our memories with football are strongest back when we were kids,” he once said.
“[East Fremantle] played in four consecutive grand finals when I was at high school. That was a good time, that’s an impressionable time.”
Dennis Cometti, pictured with swimmer Stephanie Rice, is inducted into the Sport Australia Hall of Fame in 2019. (AAP Image: Michael Dodge)
The football bug had bitten.
He went on to play 40 games for West Perth and later coached the club.
He also began a career in broadcasting, playing records on a popular music station, before calling cricket at the ABC.
On Wednesday, WA Opposition Leader and former AFL commentator Basil Zempilas said he “loved his origins at the ABC”.
“He would tell me so often about his great times and interactions with George Grljusich, with Wally Foreman, with (Ian) ‘Sticks’ Brayshaw,” Zempilas said.
As his television career was taking off, Cometti still maintained a foothold in radio — co-hosting a program with then West Coast Eagles coach Mick Malthouse called Cometti and the Coach.
Cometti’s most iconic one-liners from inside the AFL commentary box
But it was on TV, fronting Channel 7’s AFL broadcasts, that Cometti became a household name.
It was during these telecasts he uttered some of the most memorable commentary lines of all time.
But as high as his star rose, there was always a generosity of spirit.
He helped many a young football media hopeful with some sage advice during their formative years, always willing to pass on his wealth of experience to the next generation, this hack included.
‘Incredible loss’
ABC commentator Clint Wheeldon described Cometti’s death as an “incredible loss”.
“For 50-plus years he was one of the voices that we associated with the great moments, the moments that bring us together,” Wheeldon told the ABC’s Sport Daily podcast.
“He has a list of the most incredible, clever just descriptions of what was going on on the field.
“Ashley McIntosh, which leaps to my mind at the moment, ‘was like a good hairspray — capable of a subtle hold’, was one that always stood with me.
Dennis Cometti retired from television in 2016, but went on to work in radio for a few more years. (Allen and Unwin)
“Dennis would often say that he would think of these well before the moment, which I’m in awe of, because not just to think of the perfect line but then to be able to deliver it absolutely when it mattered.”
Wheeldon said Cometti’s advice was invaluable as a young broadcaster.
“For everyone who knew him and had any time with him, he was such an incredibly giving person with his time,” he said.
“I reached out to him and said ‘could I get some help with football and cricket commentary?’
“He just went out of his way to be helpful.
“He’ll leave a mark that will never be forgotten.”
And for a generation of backyard and park footballers, it will be the voice of Cometti they can hear narrating their football dreams.