Jimmy Fallon once grabbed a cigarette out of Greg Gutfeld’s mouth, crinkled it up and tossed it to the ground, hollering at the Fox News personality, “Those things will kill you!” But it sounds like the place where they were hanging out had a shot at killing them too.
The two late-night hosts were both “wasted” about 15 years ago when he and Fallon met for the first time at an illegal Hell’s Kitchen bar run by a mutual friend — one who looked like “a cross between a Viking and a larger Viking,” the “Gutfeld!” host said Thursday night on NBC’s “The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon.”
The bar looked “like a place where special-ops forces waterboard terrorists,” he added. “There was no bar … it was a cooler, like the kind you take to a beach.”
“Dude, you’re not making this up,” Fallon said. “I totally know what you’re talking about. … I think I remember bringing beer into the bar and then him charging me for my own beer.”
The men’s magazine editor-turned-satirist recalled that their mutual friend operated that way. “He is very cheap, but if you want someone dead, he’ll do it.”
So he walks into the illegal bar with his buddy Andy Levy after the two had just finished taping something — perhaps “Red Eye w/Greg Gutfeld” — and Fallon sees him and then tackles him, he said, “like a giant golden retriever.” Then the NBC host grabs Andy and the two fall to the ground wrestling. So Gutfeld decides it’s a good time to spark up a cigarette.
But Fallon leaps up, rips it out of his mouth and shouts the aforementioned you’re-gonna-die warning. “I go … ‘Dude, I’m not rich. You’re rich,’” Gutfeld said. “Cigarettes are expensive in New York City.”
He said Fallon’s face suddenly changed to one of sadness. “And then you left.”
Five minutes later, the “Saturday Night Live” alumnus came back toting a fresh pack of Parliaments, which he handed to the co-host of “The Five.”
“And I go, ‘That was really sweet. You want me to die.’”
Gutfeld, who was on “The Tonight Show” to promote a new game show he’s hosting, then remembered the group piling into Fallon’s car and tooling around to another bar that was, well, in the same building. “We literally drove from one door to another door … I think you wanted to impress that you had a driver.”
These are the things, apparently, that happen to the rich.
“Yeah!” Fallon said. “We had a nice ride, right?”
A nice ride indeed. Short, but nice. Meanwhile, over on “Gutfeld,” fill-in host Kat Timpf was talking about her erstwhile boss taking two full days off work to get a colonoscopy. Oh, how times have changed.
And the tables have indeed turned quite a bit in the last 15 years: “Gutfeld!,” which airs on Fox News at 7 p.m. local time and 10 p.m. Eastern and riffs on politics and the news of the day, is leading the nighttime chat show pack with — according to LateNighter — 3.289 million viewers in the second quarter and 238,000 in the advertiser-coveted demographic of those ages 18 to 49.
Fallon’s “Tonight Show” drew only 1.19 million viewers in the second quarter with 157,000 in the demo. That trails Stephen Colbert’s “Late Show,” which has a year to go before cancellation and leads the 11:35 p.m. broadcast pack with 2.42 million viewers and 219,000 in the demo in the second quarter, followed by “Jimmy Kimmel Live!” with 1.77 million viewers and 220,000 in the demo.