Megan Blin had spent much of her young life “pretending” she didn’t have any physical limitations.

But when the 31-year-old became a mum, she was forced to accept that her disability and chronic pain was making her parenting journey isolating.

“The first mums’ group I went to, I remember getting a text saying, please don’t bring your prams because we just don’t have the space,” says Megan, from the Sunshine Coast/Kabi Kabi lands.

“And I remember thinking, how am I even going to manage walking from the car to the centre without my pram?

“I thought, there has to be other mums out there like me.”

Megan posted a call-out on social media to find other mothers living with disability and chronic pain and was overwhelmed by the response.

Her mothers’ group catering to parents with diverse needs is now the focus of university research.

“The whole purpose was just to find one other mum,” she says.

“And if we can make it easier for just one other mum like me, then that’s all worth it.”

These are Megan’s words.

I realised my motherhood experience would look different

I was born with an extra vertebra at the bottom of my spine that led to a lot of back and hip instability, and then genetics predisposed me to severe arthritis.

I remember my doctor saying, “That’s probably what we’d see in a 70-year-old and you’re in your early 20s.”

A woman in pyjamas sitting in a hospital bed and smiling

Megan Blin could not find local support groups for parents living with disability and chronic pain. (Supplied: Megan Blin)

There was always that big component of grief and uncertainty as to what the future would look like.

I’d always wanted to be a mum but at the time, it was really hard to imagine what life was going to be like as a parent with a disability or a chronic illness, especially because we’re just not often exposed to that in the parenting world.

Birthing classes and baby books don’t have those chapters about how you navigate this part of parenthood.

My first pregnancy was really challenging

I’d had a double spinal fusion about 18 months prior to getting pregnant and I also had multiple procedures to try and fix a cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) leak that happened during a medical procedure.

A CSF leak is considered quite rare, but it caused havoc on my nervous system.

A woman on crutches walking next to her son

Megan says she had to undergo surgery on her hip after her son was born. (Supplied: Megan Blin)

I was living with chronic daily migraine — I was having about five attacks a week — and some of them were lasting multiple days.

I was really worried in my first trimester about how my pregnancy was going to pan out, knowing that I had nine months of this ahead of me.

When I asked my midwife in my first appointment, “Are there any support groups or resources for mums like me?” the answer was just “no”.

I started to realise how different my pregnancy and probably my experience as a mother might look.

Breastfeeding was trial and error

When I had my son, I got to the point where I was considering stopping breastfeeding.

Breastfeeding aversion explained

Anger, dread, anxiety, guilt, worry and disconnect are just some of the feelings described by women who experience breastfeeding aversion response.

I know a lot of mothers can struggle with breastfeeding, but when you have a health condition, it just adds these extra factors.

There was stress around knowing what medications I could safely take for my pain and where to source that information from easily.

The feeding positions that the beautiful midwives showed me, they just weren’t really compatible with my back and my hip, so I had to do a lot of trial and error.

But it was a simple suggestion from a friend who said, “Get a memory foam pillow because it can support the weight of the bub.”

And that was the game changer for me.

Have you experienced challenges as a parent with disability? Share with us here.

There has to be other mums like me

I was so excited the first time I took my son to a sensory class.

The whole group was sitting on the ground, and I remember being halfway through, I was in so much pain, and I just couldn’t really interact the same way those other mums were.

Or we’d be at a playground where there’s soft sand and my heart would sink just a little bit because I knew my son wanted so desperately for me to take him there.

But I just knew my capacity would not allow me to do that.

I finally found my village

When I posted a call-out on Facebook for other mums with disabilities and chronic pain, the response was beautiful.

So many mums wanted to join my mothers’ group, but there were others who were saying how much they would have appreciated a group for them when they were younger mums.

A group of woman talking in a room with babies around them

Megan hosting her first mothers’ group, catering for parents with diverse needs. (Supplied: Megan Blin)

I remember just walking away from our first meeting feeling so relieved and excited for the future.

We’d all had such different diagnoses, but a lot of the shared challenges were the same.

We also wanted to talk about the things that were working, what were the successes in our lives, because I didn’t want it to just be about the struggles, it’s also about the beauty of it all too.

I’d finally found my little village to help us.

And I can easily say, these are the best years of my life so far.

Loading…