LOS ANGELES — Three nights before the games, the NFL guys reveled in their NFLness. On a stage at the swanky Waldorf Astoria in Beverly Hills, superstars gathered for the Fanatics Flag Football Classic draft.
The event was like a comedy roast, with profane trash-talking about who was more legendary. Tom Brady harped on his roster owning more Super Bowl rings. Joe Burrow and Jayden Daniels countered with their Heisman Trophies, which Brady deemed “cute.”
“Beating out all the guys that are selling insurance now,” Brady said, referencing all the Heisman winners in the Allstate commercials. The seven-time Super Bowl winner added that some of them will be looking for jobs at Raising Cane’s, a nod to the fast-food joint’s CEO, Todd Graves, in the audience.
Also in attendance, stage right, neither under the bright lights nor surrounded by the popping flashbulbs, the greatest amateur flag football players in the world sat at a couple of tables. Team USA laughed at a few jokes but mostly looked bemused.
The overall tone of the show was reminiscent of the classic George Carlin bit: “It’s a big club, and you ain’t in it.”
Regular folks need not apply.
“Whoever gets picked last should kill themself,” comedian Kevin Hart said on stage. “Let’s just talk about that. Getting drafted last in a flag-football draft is f— ass. Talk about a self-esteem low, that’s one right there.”
Three days later, after his Founders team lost both of its games, Brady declared changes should be made to flag football’s rules.
So the NFL guys can compete.
USA dominated the pros over three games Saturday in BMO Stadium, flag football’s venue for the 2028 Los Angeles Games. The tournament demonstrated on national television how committed NFL players must get to master the sport if they truly want to chase Olympic gold.
“Those guys that we were competing against, they didn’t know what they was getting themselves into,” Team USA quarterback Darrell “Housh” Doucette said. “They just thought they was going to come out and play. I think we gained a lot of respect from those guys.”
NFL players managed two touchdowns each game. They were bamboozled by the rules and struggled to pull flags effectively. The Americans jumped Burrow and Jalen Hurts for pick-sixes. Doucette threw for three touchdowns, ran for three touchdowns and caught five passes to take MVP honors.
Every player on the national squad also earned $100,000 by winning the tournament. Team USA rolled up scores of 39-14 and 43-16 in the round-robin portion and 24-14 in the championship. In other words, NFL players were about as competitive as Brazil or Panama.
“Our confidence was the highest you can possibly think of,” Team USA receiver/defensive back Velton Brown said. “On the bus, everyone was locked in.
“Walking through the tunnel, the energy between all 12 of us was just like some Dragon Ball Z character stuff. Everyone was over the power of 9,000. We knew we were already in control.”
NFL players struggled with the rules of flag football — and the art of pulling the flag. (Kevin C. Cox / Getty Images for OBB Media – FANATICS STUDIOS)
On the Fox Sports broadcast before the first game, comedian Druski interviewed a supremely confident Doucette about what was about to go down.
“Go warm up!” Druski concluded.
“He’s going to need it. Oh my god, he’s going to need it.”
Team USA first faced the Wildcats, a squad with Burrow and Daniels dealing to Saquon Barkley, Davante Adams, Odell Beckham Jr. and DeAndre Hopkins. The superstars opened with an empty possession. Team USA’s first snap would be considered an insult in international competition, a trick play that “would possibly be 2 yards,” Brown said.
In a three-man bunch, Nico Casares took a direct snap and stuck the ball into Brown’s lower back. Brown reached behind and ran for 17 yards before six-time Pro Bowl safety Harrison Smith’s illegal contact dropped him.
“I would love to see a little modification to some of the rules to bring a little more passing into it,” Brady said after the Fanatics Flag Football Classic wrapped. “I think people really want to see those skill elements as well.
“Maybe thinking about different ways to marry a seven-on-seven version of the game versus a flag version, where it resembles a little bit more of football might make it more exciting to watch every single day and get more people involved in it globally around the world.”
Maybe 10 minutes later, at Team USA’s championship news conference, coach Jorge Cascudo, receiver Ja’Deion High (tournament-high five TD receptions) and Doucette were informed of Brady’s comments that the rules should be amended. They started laughing before the reporter asked them for suggestions on how to make flag football “more even for NFL players.”
Doucette: “More even? No, no, no, no.”
High: “I think you take the time to learn the game as you need it. You’ve got to take the time to actually learn it. It took me two years to actually adapt to it. I played tackle my whole life. It takes time.”
Cascudo: “We’re doing (International Federation of American Football) rules, which is the Olympic rules. So why would we change something that’s going to be in the Olympics just to favor that? … As horrible or as much as you don’t like them, those are the rules. They’re not changing them (for NFL players) or anyone.”
From the stage Wednesday night, flag advocate and event “co-commissioner” Drew Brees asked his fellow NFL stars for a show of hands. How many took the time to study the game to prepare for the tournament? Retired linebacker Luke Kuechly was the only one to proudly raise his hand — high enough to show the room, at least.
Most of the NFL players didn’t know — or care to learn — IFAF rules before Thursday and Friday practices. That’s also when they learned how difficult it is to pull a flag, necessary to stop a hitch route from becoming a breakaway touchdown. A few pros privately noted after these sessions that they didn’t think flag football was real football, although none were willing to say so on the record.
“They were taking it for granted at first until they stepped on the field and saw how different it was,” Doucette said. “Some guys came up to us afterward and said, ‘Man, y’all were right. This isn’t what we thought it was going to be.’
“Some of them didn’t know the rules and thought Tom Brady and all them quarterbacks was going to sit back there and dissect us apart.”
In addition to learning on-field nuances, NFL players must make a lot of considerations if they endeavor to make the Olympic roster. NFL owners, agents and families won’t necessarily be fond of the commitment sacrifices and injury risks. You can sense owners’ stomachs dropping as quickly as Doucette’s hips as the spindly spider tests the boundaries of ankle and ACL flexibility to avoid getting his flag pulled.
Participation will involve a series of clinics, tryouts, camps and exhibitions that also will occupy their downtime and possibly conflict with NFL offseason programs. Following a two-week Team USA training camp, the Olympic event takes place July 15-22.
Besides, messing with America’s established dominance — undefeated in IFAF play since 2018, winning by an average score of 50-17 — could threaten its chances to lock down gold on its home turf. Anything less would bring humiliation.
“Look, we’re not going back and forth about who should be on (the team),” Brady said. “There’s going to be a selection process, and may the best people play. That’s the best thing about team sports: It’s a meritocracy.
“But I think it’s just good for the NFL players to see, ‘Oh, God, this is kind of what this game’s all about.’ But you can’t tell me there’s … If we’re looking at great athletes, the NFL players are athletes. I mean, we were learning how to literally take flags off two days ago.”
At a media event Friday to promote the tournament, the co-captains and coaches for each squad were asked if they would be willing to give up a Super Bowl ring for an Olympic gold medal. Nobody would, another clue that elite pros still consider flag football a diversion they might be entitled to.
Brady also commented that while he won’t pursue a spot on the Olympic roster, he looks forward to helping future Olympic coach Sean Payton or Kyle Shanahan. Cascudo, who has never lost an IFAF game as America’s coach, was also on the podium just a few chairs down.
Not everyone was so flippant. Brees told The Athletic he had a good idea what would happen but didn’t want to say until after the tournament. The first-ballot Pro Football Hall of Famer wrote down his prediction, put it in an envelope and signed the seal to prevent tampering.
Brees turned out half right: “Team USA beats Founders in Championship Game 37-35. Founders miss a 2 pt conversion at the end.”
After Team USA won it all (and the Founders lost both round-robin games), Brady spoke about an epiphany he had on the sideline during one of the games. His idea to grow the game was that next year, all-star rosters from the NFC and AFC should compete, “and then kind of sprinkle in some of the great American flag players.” Some could reasonably interpret that as marginalizing the amateurs a little more to platform the pros.
Despite comments that seemed to constantly overlook Team USA’s accomplishments and took for granted that NFL players would be better options, the national team expressed appreciation for a sweet opportunity to rub shoulders with football heroes. Doucette, a New Orleans native, made a point to get a photo with Payton, Brees and Saints running back Alvin Kamara at dinner Thursday night.
“They’re very generous people,” Brown said. “They were talking to us, asking us questions, wanting to see our Instagrams, highlight videos. It was very cool being in the same room and having real, genuine conversations with guys that I never thought I would ever be seeing.”
Imagine then how Brown felt Saturday when — not just once, but thrice — he looked across the line of scrimmage at NFL opponents while ending each game with the football in his hands out of victory formation.
“You can’t put into words things you haven’t even dreamed of,” said Brown, who in the tourney caught 11 passes for 173 yards and two TDs and ran six times for 46 yards. “That’s exactly what it feels like. It’s a one-of-one moment.
“The goal of what we came to do, I’m glad we came in and did exactly what we said.”