One day, my eldest daughter came home from kindergarten and, bouncing up and down with excitement, said to me: “Mum! Did you know on Thursday we have careers day and a real-life policeman is coming to school! Is he the one that caught Dad?”
We’ve seen it in television shows and movies: A young child being told that their parent is “out of the country” or “away on business” when, really, they’re serving time in prison.
Seeing such scenes on a screen, I always thought it was corny – but I never thought it would happen to me.
WHEN A PARTNER HAS DONE TIME
When other couples prepare to have kids, they may ask themselves certain questions, such as: “Should one of us stay home to be a full-time parent?” or “What kinds of beliefs and values do we want to teach our kids?”
For my husband and me, there was one more consideration, one that many other couples in our circles didn’t have to confront: “Do we tell our children their dad has been to jail?”
It’s not a secret, exactly. In the late 2000s and early 2010s, my husband, KC, was a fixture in the local rock music scene as the frontman of the post-hardcore band Caracal. He spent his twenties living up to the cliched “rockstar” image – late nights, partying and, of course, binge drinking.
Later, when gentlemen’s haircuts started becoming a fad, he caught the wave very early on and opened one of the first upscale barbershops. It still exists as Grease Monkey Barber Garage.
He spent his days barbering, and his nights and weekends playing music on stage. He was constantly doing events and pop-ups to market himself.
It became part of his regular routine each night to make the rounds at bars to network and gain clients. He had friends at all the trendiest bars at the time – 24 Hong Kong Street, Employees Only, Life is Beautiful.
It allowed him to make a ton of good connections that led to a lot of good business. But it also meant that he was drinking heavily every night.
He was doing well, until of course he wasn’t.