Kate and Marti Winkworth always tackled life’s up and downs together, so when Kate realised Marti was miserable as a man, she encouraged him to make the change he needed to.

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‘A soft and gentle’ love sparked curiosity

Kate: In 2006, my mum said to me, ‘you need to get back on the horse, I’m going to set you up an online dating profile’.

So, she started chatting to Martyn and set up a date.

This was in the UK where we are both from.

I had a clue really early on, about three or six months into the relationship, I could just tell Martyn was different.

One of the things that attracted me was how soft and gentle he was as a man and I quite liked that.

There were things that he would talk about that I just knew, that’s not a masculine world.

Like, I’d get home from work and there’d be an outfit that he’d bought me as a gift.

Most blokes would go, ‘here’s a pretty dress’ and give it to you.

But Martyn would have the shoes to match, the lipstick to match and even a hair accessory and then some stockings to go with it.  

Two women posing for a photo in front of a large banner of a cruise ship

Marti Winkworth (left) underwent gender reassignment surgery in 2014. (Supplied: Marti Winkworth)

Martyn would often say, ‘girls are so lucky they get to wear these clothes with such nice fabric’.

Those are things that girls think about; this is not how men think.

And then one day I thought, I’m going to test the theory.

I got this ball gown that was a huge size, and I brought it home and I hid it.

We’d been drinking, and I said to Martyn, do you want to put on this dress?

He put it on and he was so happy.

Marti: I think I knew I wanted to be a woman when I was six years old.

I was the youngest in the family and my sister dressed me up for some reason.

I think that’s when the penny dropped.

But it wasn’t until I was about 15 or 16 that I saw on the front page of a newspaper that a man had transitioned to a female.

And they showed a photo and thought, oh my God, that’s real.

This is going back in the early 80s.

But if I’d gone to the doctor and told the doctor about it then, I would have been locked up in a white straitjacket, because it wasn’t really heard of back then.

So, I just pushed it to the side and got on.

I had a long rugby union career and joined the British Army, and I did all the boy things.

Mr & Mrs Winkworth

Marti: In 2009 we planned to come over to Australia for a bit of a recce to sort of see where we were going to live when we moved there.

We came up to Brisbane here to see a long-term friend of mine.

A man and woman on their wedding day looking very happy

Kate and Marti Winkworth have been married for almost 17 years. (Supplied: Marti Winkworth)

I was going, ‘Hey, Kev, I want to propose to Kate and I’m looking for the right moment’.

He said, ‘I’ve got it sorted’.

We went out to Ipswich, into a field and saw a hot air balloon.

We’re up in the balloon watching the sun come up over Brisbane.

And Kate said, ‘so what do you think of your birthday surprise?’ because she thought she had planned this surprise for my birthday with Kev.

Then I turned around to her with the ring, and I said, ‘well, talking about surprises’.

And her face just lit up.

I know we’re biased, but to me our wedding was one of the nicest days out because we did it all ourselves with family and friends.

So, if you can imagine a quintessential English afternoon tea party.

I had two groomsmen and Kate had five bridesmaids.

We did it in our back garden and we had 45 of our friends and family come along.

Plans for a baby

Kate: The reason why we moved to Australia in 2010 was so we could have a nice outdoor lifestyle for children.

So, we were trying to get pregnant but I had (undiagnosed) Hashimoto’s disease, so we were trying and trying and trying and it just wasn’t happening.

But I could see how miserable Martyn was as a man.

Marti wasn’t asking it of me — I was the one pushing him into changing gender because I could see that he needed to do it.

I wanted him to be happy — I mean, we knew there’d be struggles ahead.

It’s not a cheap and easy journey to go through gender reassignment surgery, but it was worth it for happiness.

A woman sitting in a large chair in jeans and blowse smiling for the camera

Marti Winkworth says she realised at a young age that she wanted to be a woman. (Supplied: Marti Winkworth)

So, I said we’ll just put sperm on ice and then you start your journey.

And when I said that I remember Marti’s face, this sense of relief.

As it turned out, I had quite a lot of medical assistance to overcome my Hashimoto’s and it took 18 months to fall pregnant.

So Marti officially changed gender just a few weeks before our baby was born.

And the minute she changed, it was like a whole new Marti, like life made sense and she was a lot happier, a lot more content.

Marti: It’s been very much our journey, not mine.

Me changing genders was not going to change how the way I felt about Kate, that was easy for me.

I wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for her, because ultimately she worked it out about me.

But if Kate turned around and said, no, I don’t want you to change, then I wouldn’t have changed.

She is my soulmate.