Former NRL player Kane Evans has come out as gay in a powerful interview where he opened up on his battle with drug and alcohol addiction.
The former Roosters, Eels and Warriors forward revealed the news in an emotional interview with James Bracey for Nine’s 100% Footy. He explained why he was homeless earlier this year and the suicidal thoughts that have followed him since he was a teenager.
Kane Evans on 100% Footy. Nine
“I had three goals in life: to play NRL, to buy my parents a house, and then I wanted to top myself,” Evans said.
“Because I was living in denial, from a young age I know that I’m gay but I went down every other avenue to build up these walls to be someone to escape who I am.
“I still can’t believe I’m here talking to you, this is definitely my worst nightmare, but I know if I surrender, it’s the start to a new life. I’ve been fighting a war within since I was about 15 years old, and it’s not sustainable.
“I was sleeping in parks, doing drugs, trying to ultimately pass away so I didn’t have to come to this. But I know there are people struggling with the same struggle I’ve gone through, so I’m very blessed that I can come here and talk to you and be able to save a life or two.
“I’ve carried that around my whole life but I’m here today to show people you don’t have to live like that. Even now I feel more free just by saying it out loud. I’ve brought it to light.”
Evans revealed he was subject to blackmail over his sexuality throughout the years, which brought “shame and fear and guilt in myself”.
“Now I’ve come and spoken about it, they’ve lost their power,” he said.
“Coming and just speaking today, fear shame and guilt, I’ve cut ties with all that, and I feel peace within, and I feel a weight has lifted off my shoulders.”
Evans last played NRL at the Warriors in 2021 before a move to the Super League with Hull FC.
The 34-year-old admitted his drinking became worse in New Zealand as he lost himself and tried to understand who he was as a person and player.
After taking his aggression to another level on the field, he was cut early from the Warriors which led to the move to the UK.
Kane Evans at the Warriors. Getty
Over those two years at Hull, he said his patterns of alcohol abuse spiralled and his contract was terminated six months early.
Upon returing to Australia, he started a café with a friend but a naive approach to doing business eventually saddled him with a debt of around $50,000. The café closed and Evans started sleeping rough.
“I started going down a slippery slope. Started numbing myself with alcohol and drugs,” he said.
“Looking back now I realise there were deeper things I was masking, and I was just using every outlet I could until the point where I was couch-surfing and became homeless.”
It was at this point that the RLPA’s past players and transition manager Joe Galuvao reached out to Evans for a coffee and delivered a profound message.
“He said ‘you know you deserve to live a good life? You deserve healing’,” Evans recalled.
“I sat there and thought about it: why do I deserve healing or a good life?
“When he said that I started questioning maybe death isn’t in the plan for me yet, maybe I do deserve to get help. I thank god he came and visited me, he got me into rehab with the help of the RLPA.”
Evans then went into rehab while his former coach at the Roosters, Trent Robinson, also reached out and told him the club had his back.
A week after leaving rehab, Robinson hosted Evans and his friend at Roosters headquarters and told him that the club would pay for his mental health programs.
Robinson also dipped into his own pocket and paid four weeks of Evans’ rent. Evans is now more than 130 days sober.
The former Fiji representative is also dealing with the fact his mother is ill at the moment.
Before the interview, he hadn’t officially come out as gay to his parents but planned to tell them before it went to air on Monday’s episode of 100% Footy.
“I love my mum and dad so much and they know but I need to tell them, it has to come from my mouth,” he said.
“My mum, she’s ill at the minute, but I’ve got so much love for them. By the time this airs I would have told them already, and I can’t wait for that moment because then I’ll be free. I feel free now but once I tell them I’ll be free. Nothing will stop me after that.
“… I’m very blessed that I’ve faced my fears. I know some people who have done some gangster things, but I feel like this is up there.
“I’m proud of myself, when I look in the mirror I’m going to smile now and not have those bad thoughts.”
If you or anyone you know needs immediate support, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or via lifeline.org.au. In an emergency, call 000.