A mum has shared the damning words her three-year-old’s teacher used to describe her daughter’s behaviour in a heartbreaking phone call.
The parent turned to Reddit for advice after being told her daughter was struggling at school and acting out towards her classmates.
“My three-year-old has been incredibly prone to meltdowns and tantrums as of late,” she wrote.
“We have felt so exhausted and on edge with it all. I know a lot of it is typical for her age and is a phase, and she’s struggling with adapting to having a baby sibling who is more mobile, but it doesn’t make it easier.”
The mum explained she was then faced with a “nightmare scenario” when her daughter’s teacher called to deliver the difficult six-word verdict.
“She is unkind, excluding and shoving,” the teacher said of the three-year-old’s behaviour.
The concerned mum explained: “Daycare called and said she has been very unkind to other kids: excluding them, name-calling (nothing terrible, the example they gave is ‘you’re a baby’), and encouraging other kids to behave this way as well.
“The worst two things they told me is one, she even shoves or pushes sometimes, and two, it’s so egregious that they’ve heard from other parents that their kids tell them about her treatment of them. I feel so embarrassed, helpless, and depressed about this.”
The mum shared her appreciation for her daughter’s teacher for stepping in and alerting her to the bad behaviour, before adding that she “desperately” wanted to help her child.
“I desperately want to figure out what to do to help my daughter work on her social skills, controlling her emotions, and making good choices,” she said.
“I’d love to see her channel her leadership qualities into being a kind and inclusive person, but right now I think she just wants to be in charge.”
The mum said she didn’t believe her daughter is a “bad kid, a brat, or a bully” but is struggling to cope with change at home and unable to process her emotions appropriately.
“She needs to work on these skills, and we need to foster that. It means us as her parents need to make changes and enforce boundaries, and the teachers are glad to work with us on it,” she added.
Other parents praised the mum for being open to listening to her daughter’s teacher and wanting to do whatever it takes to help her child.
“Your self awareness and willingness to listen to others is going to be your super power in this situation. I’m impressed,” one mum commented.
Another said: “I have a three-year old and one-year-old. The older one took a while to get used to sharing the limelight at home with the little one, and we started noticing how she would lash out at him randomly when together.
“The older one needed to feel listened to and connected with us, that she mattered too and we loved her. Once we realised it, the behaviour changed significantly.”