A growing number of Aussies can no longer afford the financial “shock” of separation. It means some are being forced to remain living under the same roof as their ex, or they are delaying their separation altogether.
Alice* separated from her husband in December last year after more than a decade together. The 58-year-old Sydney mum said she found herself relying on Zip Pay each week “just to survive”, using the buy now pay later platform to cover fuel and groceries while she was waiting to get more clients in her new support worker job.
“One of my first pays was $800 for the fortnight. Well, rent’s $440 for two weeks. This is where I’m like, holy hell, and that’s where it starts racking up … It’s very hard for everyone out there, it’s really hard,” she told Yahoo Finance.
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Alice decided to leave her marriage after experiencing coercive behaviour and feeling like she was “constantly in a fight or flight situation” for years.
“He ended up being very controlling, he was very jealous when I saw [my ex] for a function to do with our kids,” she said.
“He never laid a hand on me, he was not like that. But I constantly, the whole time I was with him, I was put down, belittled and he never supported me the whole time we were together.”
Alice said she was lucky to be able to move into a friend’s spare room following the separation. But she soon found herself hit with multiple costs “at once”, including rent, fuel, groceries, moving costs and bills like car insurance and health insurance, with her Zip Pay account maxed out.
Added to that was the cost of getting a lawyer for the separation.
Cost of separation
Recent research by Real Insurance found 45 per cent of Aussies were taking on new debt, and 17 per cent incurring more than $20,000 in debt to separate from their partner.
The cost of legal fees was the highest average cost at $7,481, followed by the cost of implementing asset division at $5,598, professional financial advice at $1,624, mediation or dispute resolution at $1,377, divorce application and filing costs at $1,107, and counselling and support services at $944.
That adds up to $18,131 for costs directly related to separation and/or divorce.
Unexpected costs that come on top of this were often the most challenging, including increased living expenses such as rent and utilities (32 per cent) and the cost of setting up separate households (30 per cent).
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Financial pressures are influencing couples’ decisions to separate in the first place, with 39 per cent of those surveyed delaying separation due to financial strain and 42 per cent of those who continued living together doing so because they could not afford to live separately.
JustFund, a separation funding provider, said it was seeing more Aussies delaying breakups because they couldn’t afford the “financial shock”.
“One separation now often means two rents, two fridges, two sets of bills and two households,” JustFund co-founder Jack O’Donnell said.
“That financial reality is becoming impossible for many Australians to absorb during a cost of living crisis.”
Divorce rates have dropped to their lowest level since the mid-1970s, according to the Australian Institute of Family Studies, with 2.1 divorces per 1,000 residents recorded in 2024.
Aussies urged to get advice early
Hitch Advisory principal lawyer Elise Fordham said starting legal conversations early could make a major difference in separation costs down the line.
“Separation is one of the most financially complex events a person will face, and the decisions made in those early weeks can have consequences that last decades. Early legal advice isn’t a luxury; it’s a safeguard,” she said.
“We see it constantly; people stay in limbo, hoping things will resolve themselves, often because they’re afraid of what the legal process will cost or reveal. But delay rarely protects you financially. More often it compounds the problem.”
Hitch Advisory principal lawyer Elise Fordham said starting legal conversations early could make a major difference in separation costs. · Source: Justin Lloyd/Getty
Fordham said that for women who had stepped back from their careers to raise kids or support their partner, separation could be a “financial freefall”.
“Overnight, they can lose access to income, joint accounts, and the family home — often with no independent financial footing to fall back on,” she said.
Alice received support from JustFund to cover her legal fee funding, along with the immediate costs of separation. Her lawyer has allowed for up to $20,000 in costs, which will be repaid from funds she receives from the divorce settlement.
She’s also since received more work from her support worker job, which has helped boost her income.
“It just really got me out of a ditch because I would have been a real hell hole not being able to pay private health insurance, my car insurance, the rent and a bit of food,” she said.
Alice recommended people reach out to free services like 1800 RESPECT and contact bill providers, including your insurance and electricity bills, to explain your situation and see if you can receive any payment assistance.
“It’s definitely not easy for a man or woman, either or, to go through. It’s very painful, but with support you can get through it,” she said.
“Even with bills, it is stressful, but I’ve learnt most companies are good. It’s when you don’t let them know.”
* Name changed for privacy reasons
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