While Moana Hope enjoyed “smouldering” in front of the camera during her Stellar photo shoot, she says her everyday attire is nowhere near as fashionable.
“I’m the female Adam Sandler,” deadpans the retired AFLW player.
“I went to a cafe yesterday in my ripped Calvin Klein pants that I’ve had since 2015. I’ve got these slippers that have cats on them.
“I was wearing a T-shirt, no bra, and a beanie. I took a video and was going to post [to Instagram]: ‘This is why I’ll never meet a girl in public.’”
At the same time, she does appreciate “a good fit”, Hope says.
“I completely lost myself in my marriage,” she reveals, “and since my separation [from Swedish model Isabella Carlstrom in 2023, after four years of marriage], every year that’s gone past, re-finding myself and discovering myself has been one of the most magical moments of my life. All of my outfits are just me.”
Being single has been an eye-opening experience for the former Collingwood and North Melbourne forward. After her split from media personality Maria Thattil last year (she and the former Miss Universe Australia dated for about 18 months), the 38-year-old has spent the past year healing and doing some self-reflecting.
“When I came out of that relationship, what I wanted to do was really work on myself, and go internally in terms of, ‘How could I have been a better partner and shown up in a better way?’” she says. “As much as that relationship didn’t work – and that’s fine – I want to be the best version of myself if I give myself to somebody in the future.
“So I took a year off, and I only opened myself up to dating a month or two ago. It’s been a rollercoaster.
“I’ve never ‘dated’ in my life, ever. I’ve normally just met someone. [Dating] is weird; I just can’t do small talk. It’s not for me. I’m waiting for the call to be the female Bachelorette for lesbians. Haven’t had it yet …”
When it comes to the perfect date, Hope has a laid-back approach, preferring to sit on the couch eating popcorn and Maltesers in her ripped Calvin Klein trackpants than go out to dinner.
“I know that sounds crazy,” she adds, “but I’m a bit weird like that.”
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That may be because dating as a public figure has presented some unique challenges.
“I’ve had an instance where I’ve met with someone and given them [the] unfiltered me.
“But they have this preconceived idea of who I [am] based on social media or my profile,” she explains.
“I’m like, ‘No, I just want to have an equal opportunity to you. I don’t know you, just give me a blank canvas to be myself without being judged. So I think it’s really hard.”
Dating also isn’t easy when you’re a single mum of two. The sports star and her ex co-parent their five-and-a-half-year-old daughter Svea, who was carried by Carlstrom, and four-year-old son Ahi, who was also conceived via IVF with the same donor and carried by Hope.
“I’m completely and utterly in love with them,” she says, adding that co-parenting is “really difficult” and doesn’t get talked about enough.
“It’s one of the hardest mental challenges I’ve had in my life,” she explains.
“What I keep pulling myself back to is: my kids didn’t choose this. We chose to bring the kids into the world, then the separation happened, so all I can do is control my actions and do everything I can to make sure none of this impacts their future or their life or causes any trauma.
“I’m on two ends of it: one end of co-parenting where I’ve got my son 100 per cent [of the time], and the other end of co-parenting where I’m asking for more time with my daughter. I have this unique situation where I see the good and the bad.”
Hope is excited that she will soon take the children on their first international trip, to Fiji. She hasn’t been back to the island nation since placing third on the Network 10 reality competition Australian Survivor: All Stars in 2020.
“Survivor changed my life,” she recalls. “When I was on the island, I remember thinking to myself, why do we wake up and tell ourselves we need to eat avocado on toast – which is delicious but you don’t need it. Why do I wake up and check my phone first? Why am I doing these things that I’m so conditioned to do?
“It was one of the most incredible experiences. I’d probably do it again one day, but I want my kids to be old enough where I’d feel comfortable to be away from them.”
Earlier this year, Hope revealed she’d received a homophobic message from an unnamed retired AFLW player. That then prompted hundreds of people to leave supportive comments on social media.
“If this happened to me 10 years ago, there would be 200 comments telling me to get over it,” she tells Stellar.
“But every comment, from straight people, [was]: ‘This is unacceptable, call her out, we don’t want this in our community.’
“I was never going to talk about it, but these are people who wanted to defend it, because everyone has a right to love who they love.”
In fact, Hope’s first reaction was compassion. “I get more concerned about what’s happened in their life that made them like that.
“My mum is an incredible example of that, how far she’s come as a 70-something woman to unlearn everything she was taught.”
Listen to a new episode of the Stellar podcast, Something To Talk About, below:
Hope’s mother, who initially didn’t approve of her being gay, is now one of her biggest supporters.
“People of that generation have been taught this for 50, 60 years. Asking them to unlearn something overnight isn’t possible, and so patience and a kind way of delivering a new way of thinking or education around it is one of the most important things.”
Much of Hope’s time now is spent on her new business in consulting and design for traffic management, where she’s focused on teaching stay-at-home mums how to start their own business. The former athlete has also returned to playing local footy.
“I play for a women’s team, and outside of my kids and family, these girls are my family; they’re incredible,” she says.
“A lot of them have kids, [who] they bring and it’s 20 kids going nuts while all these women are training. This is us making it work.
“The kids have so much fun together,” she continues. “It fills my cup, while I’m filling my cup playing footy. I’m having the best time.”
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