Welcome back to Friday’s Rugby News for a test match weekend, even if it is only Japan, or as the Americans call it ‘just drop it over there’. We dive head first into the rugby universe today with a look at a sporting scourge with ‘Dumb Punts!’ Take a look at the Wallabies first test with Les Kiss in charge in ‘Under Pressure’. Congratulate world rugby on another colossal pooch rooting effort in ‘WWREF’. Head to the murder capital of the world for the first match of ‘The ‘BYO Breakfast’ Tour. Your chance to help out a rugby family in need with ‘A helping hand’. Before putting the cherry on top of your week with ‘Friday’s Goss with Hoss’, now offering free Hookers and bags of Columbian nose candy, with every $200,000 G&GR subscription purchased: #hossneedsanewcruiser

‘The best part is, the blood washes right off’

Dumb Punts!

There’s a lot in the news about Sports Gambling at present, and whilst my offering here is not a political opinion, it is however, an open question. What type of professional sporting bodies would allow themselves to partner with, and profit from, what are essentially the proceeds of an industry based on targeted, and deliberate human suffering and misery?

What needs to happen for the leaders within these groups to give pause, and say: ‘hang on a minute, is this really who we are, and what we stand for?’ Or alternatively, at what price are they prepared to sell their social license in return for ‘folding’. And indeed is such a trade-off truly worth it? What about the goodwill entrusted to them, to make choices inline with community standards. Standards that can, and do change over time. As opposed to those decisions that purely fatten their bottom lines regardless of the human costs? Let’s look at gaol ball for example, indeed to use correct parlance, with their current arrangements, they seem to have ‘a bet each way’:

Revenue from sponsorship and promotion of sports gambling

As well as a percentage of the income from all bets made on their sport

I don’t sit in judgement of those who like a punt. Nor do I suggest that gambling should be banned. I simply ponder out loud, the appropriateness of professional Australian sporting codes actively trading, promoting and basking in the misery that their gaming overlords deliberately inflict on people, and the rivers of blood-stained gold the codes inherit as a result.

In my opinion, the sporting groups are profiting from human misery. They are at once promoting the participation in gambling, and then benefitting from the event as well. Essentially double dipping. They are recklessly ‘punting’ with peoples lives. And in that case, that would appear to be cruel, bordering on outright callous. Such ‘wagering’ with peoples lives are dumb punts to make. Very dumb punts indeed.

Origami: folds under pressure.

Under pressure.

Saturday 08th August: Wallabies vs Japan, 8:05pm kickoff AEST. Hanazono Rugby Stadium, Higashi-Osaka. On Stan.

Test rugby is back peeps, and thank Shinto for that. New coach Les Kiss has announced his very first test XXIII and my overwhelming sensation is, well, umm: ‘meh’. Naturally there will be a reason behind the madness selections, but with only 13 tests till we loose in the quarters of our own RWC, the Wallabies can not afford to fold under pressure from game one. There can be no ‘finding of their identity’ or a ‘feeling out’ period. Its quiet simply ‘go time’. And it starts tomorrow in Japan’s Kawasaki province

On the plus side, it’s great that Isaac Henry gets a chance in gold. Also good to see Charlie Cale on the pine. For mine, he can change the whole selection dynamic of the side with his ability to play 4,5,6 and 8. He could also play 11,13 or 14 at a pinch and it’s his versatility and athleticism that can really alter a ‘traditional’ XXIII matchday squad.

No Jock Campbell, remains a real head scratcher, likewise no LSL. And if you don’t reckon Dr Evil has a trick or two up his sleeve for our 12-13 combo, then you obviously haven’t seen that Shinto eating grin he gets when a cunning plan comes off.

The weather conditions will no doubt play a part in proceedings. With an extreme heat wave and suffocating humidity expected, plus a typhoon threatening, fatigue will be a contributing factor, so too skill execution. The Wallabies have had extra skill sessions during the week and focused in on handling a greasy ball. With Allan Jones busy in Sydney, it is unconfirmed who ran those sessions instead.

In an interesting snippet, Sideshow Bob told reports that the our gold team had begun preparations for the extreme heat back in Oz, with frequent and increasing sauna sessions as apart of ‘conditioning’ for the conditions in Japan.

Naturally I will cheer the Wallabies and I really would like Kiss to start his career with an emphatic victory, but I have to say Gaggers, it’s not a side that fills me with complete confidence. And rest assured, Dr Evil will use his smaller, faster players, to target bigger, fatiguing Aussies. And this game has ‘upset’ writ large.

Fearless Prediction: Japan by 9.

WALLABIES (15-1): Tom Wright; Max Jorgensen, Joseph-Aukuso Suaalii, Hunter Paisami, Harry Potter; Declan Meredith, Ryan Lonergan; Harry Wilson (capt), Fraser McReight, Rob Valetini; Miles Amatosero, Josh Canham; Allan Alaalatoa, Josh Nasser, Aidan Ross

Replacements: Billy Pollard, Angus Bell, Taniela Tupou, Jeremy Williams, Charlie Cale, Tate McDermott, Ben Donaldson, Isaac Henry

JAPAN (15-1): Takuro Matsunaga; Kazuma Ueda, Dylan ‘Godzirra’ Riley, Samisoni Tua, Taira Main; Ryunosuke Ito, Naoto Saito; Faulua Makisi, Kanji Shimokawa, ‘Banzai’ Ben Gunter; Warner ‘Wasabi’ Dearns (capt), Jack ‘Kamikaze’ Cornelsen; Shuhei Takeuchi, Hayate Era, Takato Okabe

Replacements: Mamoru Harada, Sojiro Otsuka, Keijiro Tamefusa, Harry ‘show me the money’ Hockings, Michael Leitch, Tiennan Costley, Shunsuke Uenobo, Yoshitaka Yazaki

Match officials: Referee: Eoghan Cross (IRFU) Assistant Referee 1: Paul Williams (NZR) Assistant Referee 2: Morgan White (HKCR) TMO (Television Match Official): Richard Kelly (NZR)
FPRO (Foul Play Review Officer): Matt Rodden (HKCR)

‘All I said was ‘no try for me Argentina!’

WWREF.

It’s a good thing for WR that FIFA blows absolute large, corrupted chunks, because the complete ineptitude of FIFA only just took the spotlight off a piece of outright disciplinary cowardice from WR this week. It would seem that grabbing a ref in a chokehold, performing a vice-like squirrel grip, with an anti-clockwise wrench, following with an eye gauge, Liverpool kiss and a half-nelson, is in the opinion of WR, worthy of no more than a piddling 4 week suspension. Yep. Four weeks.

Naturally I speak of the atrocious behaviour of Tomas Albornoz and his contact with our Gus Gardner at the completion of the rather spicy FISM’s v Soap Dodgers ‘Remember the Falklands’ fixture last month. Now, having just three weeks to consider their position and to ponder an appropriate response, and the opportunity to stamp this disgraceful behaviour out of the game at it’s very inception, and with a maximum sanction of 12 months suspension available to use, what did WR do again? Yep, they shirked it. They hid. They shuffled their feet. They issued a mealy-mouthed statement and then all went out and bought new leather patches to celebrate their posturing.

Mark this week down in your rugby diaries folks, for this is the week that WR fired the starters gun for open season on match officials. Brave, decisive and bold in their application of the law? Nope. Cowards, who shirked the task, failed to understand the moment and instead invited future problems for match officials, the code, and all stakeholders in between, and the deepest cut of all, it’s all of their very own making.

It’s almost enough to make FIFA look like a well oiled, transparent and disciplined operation, and that takes some doing. Bravo WR, you clowns.

Morgan Freeman congratulates Matt Damon. 1995 Springbok #24 looks on.

The ‘BYO Breakfast’ Tour.

Saturday 08th August. Stormers v All Blacks somewhere in South Africa. Coverage from 2.15am, Kick off 3.00am AEST on Stan.

And so it begins. Whilst the Greatest Rivalry tour may be 2 years in the making, the actual rugby rivalry between these two rugby powerhouses dates back over 100 years to 1921 and today is even more intense than ever. And I cant friggen wait.

Judas Rennie has named his side to face the stormers in the AB’s first hit out for the tour. Nd the ABs are under no illusions as what to expect, believing that the Stormers will be out to ‘soften up’ the AB’s for what’s to come. In rugby terms, that’s also knowns as ‘bash the shite out of them’. Judas was perhaps a bit more select with his words when he said: “We are well aware of how good this Stormers side is. We are preparing for a real war of attrition.”

The All Blacks side may be without a few of their regular starters, but it still looks like a side picked to not only whether the Stormers aggression, but also return fire and ultimately win. But a ‘win’ won’t be enough, I reckon they will be looking for a statement win. Something that says to Rassie and co, we aint here for the tainted food alone. Besides, how bad can any side be that has Beauden Barret starting at #10.

When it comes to international rugby I cheer the Wallabies and whomever are playing South Africa. Unless of course its a world cup, when the entire northern hemisphere can just sod right off.

Fearless Prediction: AB’s by 23.

All Blacks: Josh Moorby, Leroy Carter, Billy Proctor, Anton Lienert-Brown, Rieko Ioane, Beauden Barrett, Cortez Ratima, Wallace Sititi, Peter Lakai, Simon Parker, Patrick Tuiputotu (captain), Fabian Holland, Pasilio Tosi, Samisoni Taukei’aho, George Bower. 

Reserves: Asafo Aumua, Ollie Norris, Siale Lauaki, Sam Darry, Ethan Blackadder, Kyle Preston, Josh Jacomb, Caleb Clarke.

Wes Thomas (Photo courtesy Warringah Rugby)

A helping hand.

I came across a story in the SMH last night about an injury to Shute Shield player and last years Ken Catchpole medal winner, Wes Thomas. Wes was badly injured in a tackle playing last weekend and suffered a central cord syndrome neck injury. He is still in intensive care recovering after surgery, with hopes he may make a full recovery.

Rising at 3.30am every day to complete gym work, before working as a labourer, playing rugby on Saturday, league on Sundays and looking after his family, Wes will need rest and support to help him get life back to pre-injury levels and to help him provide for his loved ones. The family have set up a GoFundMe page for donations. If you are able to contribute, you can find the details here.

Wes G&GR wishes you a speedy and full recovery.

You heard it here first eventually!’

Friday’s Goss with Hoss.

Bold, brave, or just bat-spit crazy?

Whilst the Nearlies get a chance to blow out the rust in Saffaville, lateral rugby thinker Rassie Erasmus has packed up his lot and flown 85,000kms around the world to play Argentina, in Argentina! I appreciate that nothing is as it seems with the supercoach: up is down, down is medicated, black doesn’t identify as white, left is right, right is unelectable. There’d be few to doubt he has a plan. Is it to remove pressure by being away from home? Perhaps its flying under the radar, some team bonding, planning moves and tactics. Whatever his reasoning, and so close to the biggest home series since the Lions toured their, its still a pretty brave move. Only time will tell if it be genius or complete lunacy. The two outcomes are often more closely linked then you think.

‘Age is just a number.‘

Direct quote form Nick Phipps about his and Spanners return to the sky blue and their respective ages (37 and 36). With over 250 combined Tahs games and more then 140 tests I can see their value to the squad collective. But without a head coach, you could have Jehovah herself at #10, and it wouldn’t make a difference. Sure the after-match catering would be a breeze, but on field, well. Let’s talk coaches and then the puzzle pieces start to make sense.

Everything’s good.

Natho over at Pravda reports: A new milestone in the growing partnership between Tonga Rugby Union, Rugby Australia and the Australian Government will be marked this September, with the inaugural contest of the Kaume’a Ofi Trophy (Friendship Trophy) with the Tongan President’s XV hosting the First nations and Pasifika XV.

The Tongan President (who has more names than a Chinese phonebook) basically said: ‘it’s good’. The Badger also said: ‘it’s extra good that Albo’s picking up the cheque’. The retired Faiinga twins chimed in with ‘it’s good that the MotM medal was named after us’. Generally everyone thinks ‘it’s good’.

Could it be thus?

Multiple, well one media agency, is reporting that an announcement could be any day now that Mr Michael Cheika will be confirmed as the Tahs head coach. The breaking news comes with the caveat that the same outlet has Crusty Demon as one of the reporters in conjunction with Avatar ‘actor’ (how is it ‘acting’ when you’re not actually ‘in’ the movie and when you are in a movie, none of your facial expressions change?) Sam Worthington.

The story is basically a complete rehash of all the innuendo of the last 4 weeks and offers not one skerrick of evidence or a source who can confirm same. But apart from that, it’s gospel.

Until next Friday. Go the Wallabies.

Hoss – out.

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