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I once spent over $70 on a Moochie Norris bobblehead doll in an eBay auction that I was not going to lose. I’m not really a big bobblehead guy, but I needed that one. I can’t even begin to tell you the regret I have that I wasn’t in New York to get this “George Costanza sleeping under his desk” bobblehead on Thursday. This is true perfection in every way.
Bounce Rankings
Who are the NBA’s best shooting guards?
As veteran Bouncers know, we’ve been ranking positions recently. And as you already suspected, not a single person has had an issue with the rankings of both big men and lead guards (don’t go and read the comments on the website). Today, we’re moving to the other guard position, shooting guard, which some might call the off-ball position. We don’t totally do traditional positions anymore, so this is all a pretty fluid, arbitrary distinction.
The shooting guard position can be a star, but it’s become more of a role player position with the evolution/mutation of the lead guard role. You do have some stars, and the top three stars we’re mentioning today could easily be classified as lead guards. Either way, shooting guards are mostly role players now. They can be star role players, as you’ll see below, but it’s a lot of either shooting, defensive or 3-and-D specialists.
Like our other two position rankings so far, the 40 shooting guards have been dropped into seven different tiers of players. Let’s get to these rankings! Just a reminder, if you don’t see a player here, he’s either 1) not good enough to make our top 40 or 2) thrown into another position we haven’t ranked yet.
There are plenty of instances where you can say Edwards, Booker and Mitchell are essentially lead guards, and it wouldn’t be wrong. I just think of them more as shooting guards who are toeing the fine line between those two guard positions. Mitchell is easier to throw into the SG position because of the presence of Darius Garland. Edwards is still just 24 years old and could very easily be in the MVP conversation this coming season after leading Minnesota to back-to-back conference finals appearances.
I struggled with Beal and LaVine in the second tier versus the third tier because they don’t seem to have the same punch they once had. You could also argue that for Thompson on some level, too. Bane was the only guy I felt confident still belonged in that tier. The other three got the benefit of the doubt because of their résumés, but I still think there can be a monster takeover from any of them.
Reaves was knocking on the door of Tier 2 but just missed it. Dort and Daniels are two of the best defenders in the world. Dort’s 3-point shooting (41.2 percent last season) lifted him over Daniels.
Tier 4 is intriguing. At any given time, these guys can go off. Powell should have been the Clippers’ All-Star last season. Caruso has twice been stamped as a champion difference-maker. Hart has become a triple-double threat, and he’s the best rebounder at his size. Brooks can still get after it defensively and occasionally has a big shooting game. I’m higher on Barrett than most and think he’s been pretty good. As for Green, he could be too low here, but I’m not sure how he’ll fit in Phoenix.
Tier 5 has four guys I really like and think could be star role players either next season or the season after. Simons could have a brilliant shooting season with Boston. Castle is coming off a Rookie of the Year win but has to fit into the playmaking logjam in San Antonio. Edgecombe could be huge for Philly if the team stays healthy, and Vassell has been sneakily excellent the last three years.
I like so many of the players in Tier 6 and can see any of them making this ranking look foolish. I’m still very big on Sharpe and think the 22-year-old is about to turn the corner. I’m fascinated to see what McCain looks like coming back from his injury. DiVincenzo is a better and more consistent shooter than what we saw last season. And I’m incredibly excited to see what Johnson does for the Wizards in his rookie season.
As for Tier 7, Thomas should probably be higher, but I have no idea if the Nets are going to use him properly. I might be putting Smart too low, but we need to see him back to playing meaningful basketball. I think I ranked McBride too low, and Mike Brown could really unleash him.
The Last 24
Houston, we had a summer
📈Best summers. Hall of Famer David Aldridge ranked all 30 offseasons. The Rockets are No. 1.
🏀 Voices in sports. Richard Deitsch put together a list of the top play-by-play callers of the 21st century. You know my 🐐, Kevin Harlan, made it.
🏀 Arrest made. The guy who allegedly threw a sex toy at a WNBA game was arrested. Stop doing this stupid stuff!
🏀 Record set. With three weeks left in the regular season, the WNBA has already broken its single-season attendance mark.
🏀 Father arrested. Jaylen Brown’s dad was arrested and charged with attempted murder.
🏀 Probe update. Malik Beasley’s lawyer says Beasley is not a target of a federal investigation into sports gambling.
That’s Dedication
You have to see this Pacers tattoo
Do you remember the unreal comeback by the Indiana Pacers (I know that doesn’t narrow it down) against the New York Knicks in the playoffs? TNT diabolically had Reggie Miller announcing that series for the second straight year, and the Pacers were on their way to their first NBA Finals appearance since 2000. Tyrese Haliburton made a ridiculous shot that he thought beat the Knicks in Game 1, only to find out it tied the game and sent it to overtime.
Before he knew he had five more minutes to play, Haliburton mimicked the infamous choke taunt Miller hit Spike Lee with back in the ’90s. And the Pacers legend pointed at him in acknowledgement that Haliburton was ripping the hearts out of Knicks fans just like Miller had. What a great memory of a fun postseason! Thankfully, we have YouTube and social media to remind us forever.
However, what if all of that stuff goes away? Did you buy the DVD box set of the Pacers’ season? Did you record it on VHS cassettes? Probably not. Maybe you could get it tattooed on your hands like a Pacers fan did. This is what tattoo artist Jared G. Andrews did on the tops of that fan’s hands.
This looks like the “Rick & Morty” animators got loose with an ink gun. It’s both awesome and off-putting at the same time. It’s definitely a conversation starter. And if you’re a Pacers fan, you might have a twinge of jealousy here.
I don’t have any tattoos, but I’m not opposed to them. I’m just looking for an artist who can draw Ricky Davis perfectly. As soon as I do, I know I’ll be just like this Pacers fan and the kid from “We’re the Millers” in having no regrets that I did.
This is way better than Drake changing his LeBron James tattoo to a Shai Gilgeous-Alexander tattoo because he keeps losing in the public eye lately. No ragrets, Aubrey!
Happy Retirement!
John Wall was an icon
This week, the 2010 No. 1 pick officially retired from basketball.
I don’t know how online you were in 2008, 2009 and 2010, but we basketball sickos who were chronically on the internet back then definitely remember the first time we saw John Wall play basketball. We had just seen Derrick Rose and Russell Westbrook explode onto the national scene, and their speed and physicality almost made you wonder if you were watching an “X-Men” and “Space Jam” crossover movie.
Then you started hearing about this high school point guard in North Carolina who was lighting up basketball conversations, and you started wondering if 1) he was real and 2) he was really quicker, faster or more explosive than Rose and Westbrook. Wall’s Hoopmixtape almost felt illegal, like you had to acquire it in an alley from a man in a trenchcoat. In reality, we were just watching it on YouTube, and that link has 10 million views.
Wall went to Word of God Christian Academy, which felt apropos if you believed this kid was coming down from the heavens. His high school mixtape had you thinking he was blocking shots like Adonal Foyle at Colgate University (sick reference, look it up). He leaped, he floated, maybe he even flew? Then he ended up at Kentucky and easily became the top pick in 2010.
It’s a bummer to see Wall retire at the age of 34. He only played 11 seasons in the NBA and hadn’t played in an NBA game since January 2023. He had knee issues, and he also blew out his Achilles in 2019. He played just 147 games over his last six seasons, sitting out two of those completely. The injuries really piled up after his 2016-17 season, a career year in which he averaged 23.1 points, 10.7 assists, 4.2 rebounds and 2.0 steals. Only Wall and Westbrook have had seasons with those numbers or better. Ever.
That was the fourth of his five All-Star appearances, and it landed him third-team All-NBA status, his only All-NBA selection. He was 26 years old, but sadly, it was the beginning of the end. It was a peak, rather than a peek into what was about to happen to his opponents.
It’s hard to truly capture what Wall was like in the open floor. I’ve never seen players go as fast as him while never breaking stride to hit an opponent with a crossover or go behind his back. He was a right-handed player who loved dunking on people with his left hand. And sometimes, he would do all of that on one bolt of lightning.
The man played basketball like he was on roller skates with ACME cartoon rockets on the back. It was like watching Wile E. Coyote play basketball, except all of his gadgets worked.
Wall didn’t end up being what we thought he’d be. I blame the injuries. He was electric. He was worth the hype. He was a showman. He was a badass. Maybe it wasn’t what he wanted his career to be, but that man put on a show. Salute to Wall for being an incredible basketball experience.
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(Top photo of Anthony Edwards and Devin Booker: Jesse Johnson / USA Today)