Queen Mary has admitted to having felt like an “outsider” when she left Australia more than 20 years ago to move to Denmark for love.
Speaking in a new interview, Mary revealed not knowing the Danish language lead to her feeling “a bit left out” and isolated, particularly at social events.
Queen Mary of Denmark, seen with Vietnam’s first lady on Tuesday, has spoken of feeling isolated in her early days of living in Denmark. Sebastian Elias Uth/Ritzau Scanpix via AP
The 54-year-old was born in Hobart and later met her future husband, the now King Frederik X, at a pub in Sydney during the Olympics in 2000.
They kept in touch via emails, long-distance phone calls and old-fashioned letters in the post.
In 2002, Mary moved to Copenhagen. Prior to that, Frederik had been making private visits to Australia to see his girlfriend, with reports he made as many as six trips following the Olympics.
Queen Mary spoke about her early days living in Denmark as part of a wider interview on loneliness and bullying, two of the core areas her charity The Mary Foundation has focused on since its creation in 2007.
The interview was given to children’s newspaper Børneavisen and the questions asked by its young journalist, Augusta.
She asked Queen Mary: “Have you ever felt like an outsider?”
The queen answered: “Yes, I’ve also felt a bit left out. It’s been especially hard in certain situations. For example, when I lost my mother, I felt very alone.”
Queen Mary’s mother died in November 1997 of complications from heart surgery. Mary was just 25.
Queen Mary spoke with student journalist Augusta about bullying and loneliness for her charity The Mary Foundation. Instagram/@mary_fonden
In April, Mary’s father John Donaldson died, aged 84, following years of ailing health. The queen and King Frederik travelled to Australia in late September for a private memorial service in Hobart.
Queen Mary said she also experienced feelings of isolation soon after leaving Australia to begin a new life in Denmark two decades ago.
“When I moved to Denmark, I couldn’t speak the language at all,” Queen Mary said.
“When you don’t know the language and you’re sitting at a dinner, or playing a game and can’t really follow, you feel a bit left out.
Then-Mary Donaldson and Crown Prince Frederik at a wedding in 2003, the first time they allowed photographers to capture them together at an event in Denmark. Getty
“It helped me if someone explained to me what was going on, or if I asked the others to speak more slowly. These small gestures helped me feel less alone.
“And as the language improved, I no longer felt like an outsider.”
It was on October 8, 2003, that the Royal House announced the engagement of then-Crown Prince Frederik to Mary Donaldson.
Queen Mary hosted Vietnam’s first lady for a tour of Denmark’s first rooftop farm on Tuesday. Martin Sylvest Andersen/Getty Images
She was introduced to Denmark via a media conference inside the palace in which she spoke Danish publicly for the first time, as well as English.
During that media conference Mary told the journalists: “I have read that I speak fluent Danish. Thank you, but unfortunately it is not completely true.
“If you ask a question in Danish, please feel free to speak slowly.”
King Frederik and Queen Mary attended a concert at Copenhagen’s Glyptotek museum as the Vietnam state visit comes to an end. Mads Claus Rasmussen/Ritzau Scanpix via AP
Mary impressed the Danes by how quickly she mastered the language after undergoing intensive lessons with one of the country’s top experts.
At the royal wedding, Mary’s mother-in-law Queen Margrethe II praised Mary for having the courage to leave Australia “where she grew up to settle very far away”.
“Now she takes up a new and challenging life. As we have come to know Mary we, her parents-in-law, have come to love and admire her − she has great inner strength. And she exudes a calm warmth that inspires confidence.
“She has shown the courage to place her future life in Denmark − may we always be worthy of her trust.”
Now, 24 years after leaving her family, friends and life in Australia, Mary is one of the most popular members of the Danish royal family.
This week, she and King Frederik are hosting Vietnam’s president and his wife during a three-day state visit to Denmark.
Queen Mary moved from Australia to Denmark 24 years ago to start a new life with the now King Frederik. Martin Sylvest Andersen/Getty Images
Overnight, the king and queen joined the presidential couple for a concert inside Copenhagen’s Glyptoteket museum to celebrate the 55th anniversary of the establishment of diplomatic relations between Denmark and Vietnam.
Earlier, Queen Mary and Vietnam’s first lady Ngo Phuong Ly toured the ØsterGro rooftop farm. In 2024, it became Denmark’s first urban rooftop farm, growing organic vegetables, herbs and flowers.
The two women walked through the garden before having lunch inside its greenhouse restaurant Gro Spiseri, which bases its seasonal menus on crops from the roof.
On Monday, the king and queen hosted a state banquet and Mary wore a reworked tiara that previously belonged to Frederik’s great-grandmother. The Danish Royal House
On Monday evening, Vietnam’s president Tô Lâm and his wife joined the king and queen for a glittering state banquet inside Christiansborg Palace.
Queen Mary wore, for the first time, a sapphire and diamond tiara that once belonged to Frederik’s great-grandmother Queen Alexandrine.
Mary, in collaboration with local jewellers, reworked the historic tiara giving “the piece of jewellery a new, fully reversible design”, the Royal House said.
“A design that respects the piece’s history and special tradition and makes it usable today,” the Royal House added.