Losing a loved one is difficult enough, but when wills and inheritance disputes enter the picture, grief can quickly turn into conflict.
A new Channel 4 series, The Inheritance, airing from 31 August, taps into that tension with a dramatic twist: 13 strangers are summoned to a grand stately home to battle for a share of the fortune left behind by Liz Hurley’s character, known simply as “The Deceased.”
While the show is all fun and games, the drama echoes real-life stories of wealth, legacy, and family rifts. Various famous figures have left their children nothing at all. When Apple co-founder Steve Jobs died in 2011 from pancreatic cancer, reports indicated none of his estimated $10.8 billion estate (£8 billion) was passed to his four children.
Similarly, several living celebrities – including actor Daniel Craig and chef Nigella Lawson – have openly declared that their fortunes won’t be inherited by their kids.
Craig has previously said, “I don’t want to leave great sums to the next generation.” (Getty Images)
Stephen Lawson, a partner at IDR Law and chair of the Law Society’s Wills & Equity Committee, told Yahoo UK that will disputes are more common than ever before.
“My firm is eight years old now; you would not have had a firm like mine 10 years ago or 20 years ago. There are about 25 lawyers at our firm, and all we do is inheritance disputes. So that’s just us, one firm, showing you how frequent inheritance disputes are,” he explains.
On TV, inheritance battles may be entertainment, but in real life, they can deepen grief and tear families apart. So how can loved ones cope when disputes arise?
Yahoo UK spoke with Debbie Keenan, a senior accredited therapist with the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP).
How to deal with arguments over willsDon’t react in the moment
Keenan says it’s crucial not to react impulsively after discovering you’ve been left out of a will, advising that you take time to process the news and reflect on your emotions.
“Obviously, that’s going to ignite feelings of, ‘Was I loved as much as the others?’ and it might lead to isolation. So I would suggest, just pause, and get the full picture, get the facts. Was the will changed recently? Is there a reason?” she shares.
“Maybe some parents might think, ‘Oh, actually, my kids are doing OK. They don’t actually need the financial support.'”
While it is common to feel resentment and bitterness, she recommends that you don’t let these feelings fester.
A psychologist has shared her advice on how family members can get over a will dispute. (Getty Images)
Communicate calmly with family
The therapist acknowledges that being left out can feel like a “slap in the face,” however, she says it’s important to calmly communicate your feelings and clarify what it is you want.
“Is it healing? Is it justice?” she asks. “You’ve got to be careful because this could cause a massive disruption, a rift that could ripple throughout the decades.”
Keenan says the person who has inherited everything might also be struggling with the outcome: “They might have immense guilt as well – and guilt and shame thrive in silence. So it’s better to say something calmly, because guilt and shame can lead to a lot of pain and resentment.”
Speak to someone who isn’t involved
Keenan recommends speaking to an outsider, someone who isn’t emotionally involved, such as a mediator, counsellor or friend, to get their perspective.
“Consider going to a solicitor and getting legal advice, but focus on the healing,” she also suggests.
“Whether or not the relationships can be repaired, your emotional recovery matters. Ask yourself, what do you want? Do you want understanding? Do you want financial fairness or healing? Don’t let this ripple, because the bitterness, the resentment and anger will grow, and that’s not good for anyone.”
When Jobs died in 2011, articles stated he left none of his estate to his four children. (Getty Images)
Be transparent when making your will
When it comes to making your will, Keenan suggests that you keep your loved ones updated on who is and isn’t included, concluding: “Don’t leave it till after you’ve passed away, exhibit open communication, and actually say, ‘Listen, I may be giving your brother more than you.'”
Lawson urges everyone to make a will, regardless of whether they have close family or not. This ensures your assets are distributed according to your wishes, rather than ending up in unintended hands.
“If you don’t make a will, and you haven’t got family – by that, they mean a partner or children – in those circumstances, there’s what’s called an intestacy, and then genealogists go off and find family members that you’ve probably never heard of,” he explains.
Intestacy laws give priority first to surviving spouses or civil partners, followed by children and other relatives in a specific hierarchy.
Lawson continues: “These complete strangers don’t know that you’re alive or dead, and yet, your estate gets devolved between them. Ultimately, if there really is nobody, then [your estate] goes to the Crown.
“Make a will, because most people have something that’s close to their heart.”
Lawson said “I am determined that my children should have no financial security.” (Getty Images)
Why are will disputes more common?Family dynamics are more complex
“People have more to argue about now than they had before, because people are generally wealthier,” Lawson says. “Also, family dynamics become increasingly complicated in the modern age. In the old-fashioned nuclear family, it was the husband and wife and 2.4 children, but that’s not the case anymore.”
These days, not everyone gets married. Or they might, but have multiple marriages. In Lawson’s experience, “those families can be prone to potential complexities.”
If you want to dispute a will, the lawyer adds: “Get good quality legal advice before a problem arises.”
People leave it till it’s too late
Some people decide to leave their money and assets to charity. While well-intended, such decisions can cause complications, particularly when they stem from a decline in the person’s mental capacity.
“There’s no doubt that it’s important to protect the vulnerable, and sometimes people have Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia,” he says.
“That doesn’t automatically exclude you from making a will, but sometimes people’s mental abilities decline so far that they can’t properly weigh their responsibilities to others.
“There’s a difficult line to be drawn between giving people testamentary freedom to leave whoever they want, whatever they want, while making sure that they’ve got the capacity to make that decision.”
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