A dad who appeared to have a successful life has told how he turned things around after hitting rock bottom and being hospitalised with psychosis.
Jamie Walker from Tunbridge Wells says his mental health collapsed after the loss of his business, the breakdown of his marriage, battling with alcoholism, a bereavement and an ADHD diagnosis.
Jamie says his mental health collapsed after facing a series of personal challenges. Picture: Enzo Squillino Vincenzo Photography
The 52-year-old did not realise how sick he was, despite suffering hallucinations, including hearing voices through the walls and being unable to recognise himself in the mirror.
Jamie said: “My mind was splintered – I had no way of understanding or comprehending anything at that time.
“Everything I had on paper looked like I had a very successful career and life, but the truth of it was, I was drowning, deeply unhappy, and it drove me into a state of acute mental health trauma.
“I had what they call detachment, so it was like an out-of-body experience where I’d observe myself throughout the day.
“I was almost looking down upon myself, watching what I was doing, being curious, wondering who that person was.”
Jamie Walker has told of how he turned his life around after hitting “rock bottom” and being hospitalised with psychosis
After three suicide attempts, Jamie was admitted to an early psychosis unit and put under intensive care, with several hospitalisations.
It was there that he was officially diagnosed, but could not comprehend what was happening to him.
“Pretty much my life, as I knew it, was over. I couldn’t really trust myself or anybody at that point.
“I didn’t know what to do. I was very guarded, very scared about falling into a deeper mental state.
“But, once I started communicating with people, they [psychiatrists] said, ‘No, you’re really unwell and we need to look after you’.
“That was the hardest part, to be honest. I’d grown up going to boarding schools and other places where you just didn’t talk about mental health or the challenges.
“I’m ashamed to say that I’d always looked to people who had issues, that maybe it was just an excuse, or they were just being a little bit soft.
“But I was given a psychiatrist who helped me slowly but surely piece things together”, said Jamie.
He received support on a regular basis but was still hallucinating at certain points, and couldn’t leave his flat due to being “terrified”.
He was introduced to the Shaw Trust, an employment charity, which helped him begin rebuilding his life, such as connecting him with housing support and exploring career opportunities.
Jamie restarted his acting career as he began rebuilding his life
Despite having worked in the drinks business, collaborating with big names like Bacardi and Diageo, for three decades, Jamie decided to explore the world of acting, having been to drama school in his 20s.
He said: “I looked to get an agent, get headshots to piece together a showreel, and over the course of about eight months or so, all of this started to fall into place.
“It really started to build my confidence because I had been through this trauma and was starting to get some purpose behind what I wanted do.
“The luxury of rock bottom is that there’s nothing to lose.
“I’ve realised the saying of ‘fake it until you make it’ didn’t work for me. I think I should have stuck to my guns at a much earlier stage in my career and carried on with the acting as opposed to trying to fit into something that just didn’t resonate with me.
“Now I’m back full circle to where I was.”
Jamie is now a mental health advocate and has been shortlisted for a prestigious award
Jamie has since starred in a campaign with mental health charity Calm, and a highly acclaimed film with Richard Curtis’ son Spike.
He has also become an outspoken advocate of mental health, sharing his story in the hope it will encourage others struggling to open up and talk about their issues.
He said: “Mental health is as serious as any physical ailment – and sometimes more, because it can tip you into suicidal ideation, or being violent towards yourself or other people. It’s a deadly disease.
“It’s so important to talk about these things because it can snowball very quickly. If you have a dark thought or if you’re not feeling very well, the first thing you want to do is isolate yourself and not talk about it. That’s when it becomes more serious.
“We’ve got to keep celebrating people talking about it. We can’t dismiss it.”
Jamie’s own story has been recognised at the upcoming ERSA Employability Awards for his resilience and journey overcoming his battle with mental health.
He is a finalist in the Outstanding Participant category, with the winner announced at a ceremony on Tuesday (November 25).