Kenny gets a truly wild villain edit thanks to his ambivalence toward foster dog Juan.
Photo: Peacock
I’ve been thinking a lot about Occam’s Razor. Sure, I watched the bonkers 1997 film Contact in which Jodie Foster and Matthew McConaughey (wild casting, zero chemistry) manage to repeat and define the phrase multiple times. But the notion also applies to this episode of reality television. Sometimes, when presented with competing potential explanations, the simplest one is the most likely to be correct. So yes, my theory is that they recut this episode (and maybe even the rest of the season, TBD) to better fit Kenny and JaNa’s real-time narrative.
I think we’re about to go from the originally planned “extended but mostly harmless tiffs about co-habitation and dog parenthood” to “sizzle reel of Kenny repeatedly looking like he is nothing but a red flag in human clothing.” The episode starts with the tiniest seeds of this — Kenny wondering what will happen if he forgets to feed their incoming foster dog since he’s never had an animal before. When he and JaNa call up Leah and Miguel for advice, they’re basically like, “Uh, you’re a grown man? You wouldn’t forget leg day, so you should be able to handle pouring kibble in a bowl while you’re chugging pre-workout and doing that twice-hourly check of your follower count across platforms.” They don’t actually say this, but it’s the energy.
Over in cutie-sweetie world, Serena and Kordell take a cooking class with chef Marita. After they salt rib eye and learn about the viscosity of olive oil, Serena talks about how she wakes up every single day with an anxiety attack and it’s going to be hard to “raw dog it” while Kordell is gone. The whole thing is a reminder that (1) time isn’t real on reality TV as Kordell has been “about to leave” for four episodes now, and (2) social media remains wretched for preexisting mental-health issues! More on that in a minute, though.
In cutie-sweetie world No. 2, Miguel and Leah eat takeout from what looks like Erewhon. Like JaNa and Kenny, they also discuss dog fostering. Does Miguel complain about Leah’s interest in animals (which is, like, 10,000x JaNa’s)? NO. He says, “The beauty of fostering is nurturing, taking care, and building them back up.” Then he goes on to reassure Leah about her cancer scare with things like, “I respect and commend you” and “You’re so strong” and “Your happiness is my happiness,” and I’d call bullshit on even one of these things if this bro didn’t seem so genuine. Perhaps I am falling for it! But I just can’t see Miguel blabbing about how much he loves Katy Perry, and female intuition exists for a reason.
For a perfect example of this, we get to meet Kendall’s sister. Her name is Taylor, and from the first frame, it is apparent she is cooler than him by orders of magnitude. When Kendall chatters on about how he never thought he’d move here, instead heading to San Diego to raise a family, Taylor calls him immediately on not having a girlfriend and asks what the fuck’s going on in San Diego. I’ll tell you what: 50 percent people like Kendall and 50 percent açai shops. That’s it. He keeps going on and on about his (I’m not gonna say “fake” but um, “forced?”) date with Alanah, and how he’s worried about rushing into something. Taylor’s just like, “You’re not gonna move too fast because you don’t move at all.” Um, please move this woman to the main cast. We don’t need Connor, who only exists to bring other cast members together to gossip, like a sentient nail salon.
We are then treated to a fascinating little glimpse into the workings of the L.A. influencer sausage factory. Liv and Kendall go see Marki Costello, hosting coach. Liv “hasn’t known what kind of avenue” she wanted to do since being out here. The idea of moving to L.A. and choosing a job like you’re playing MASH is truly nutty stuff. Kendall, meanwhile, is trying to “diversify his content” and also wants everyone to know he got a degree in broadcasting. Marki makes both of them read off a teleprompter, saying things like “Welcome to Vibe Check!” and “That queen Beyoncé sure dropped a country album!” She then roasts them when they’re predictably bad at it. “Personality, not physicality,” KENDALL.
At the dog park, we get more wild edits of Kenny. Leah shares that she has a matching Prozac prescription with her dog, and JaNa tries to feed a squirrel. Kenny, on the other hand, appears fully unenthused by the animal world. The people (Debbie from Shameless and one of Paris Hilton’s relatives) from the dog foster bring out Juan. Kenny says he “isn’t there yet” and refuses to hold the dog. He then goes on to say he “doesn’t encounter dogs frequently” and that Juan “looks kind of evil to him.” It’s not even a Frankenedit! This man actually said those words in a row. Perhaps I am just being ungenerous due to a little thing called hindsight, but alas.
We’re forced to endure Connor and Kendall gossiping at the bar. Connor goes on about how the energy is weird, and there are times when they should all be getting together but don’t. Yes, sir. This is what happens when you leave a job and learn the difference between a real friend and a co-worker. Tale as old as time. Neither of them got invited to Kordell’s going-away roller-rink party, so Kendall is going to have a party of his own at Saddle Ranch to “keep the peace.” Sure, fine, whatever.
The only thing the doofus boys really miss at the PPG/PPGM-exclusive roller-rink party is seeing how good Serena and Kordell are at roller-skating. Serena brings out one of those Nothing Bundt Cakes to celebrate her man, and Kenny gripes about foster dog Juan not being adopted yet. He also eats shit on the rink and clomps around like he’s 24 hours from being cut from the high-school ice-hockey team. Back at his apartment, he flatly says he’s “learning how to deal with Juan.” A chilling thing to say about a living creature! Again, proof of possible re-edit, but I don’t care. Cue the Purge sirens!
It’s interesting to see what this show is like with less Kaylor since she was in Pennsylvania with a kidney stone, which turned into almost-sepsis and a four-night hospital stay. I’ll go ahead and say it: I missed that slightly childish chaos tornado! It’s like how a meal feels unbalanced without something acidic. Anyway, Kaylor returns to L.A. and tells Liv about the pole she’s peeing through and the guy she’s seeing, Torin. He’s friends with the Stagecoach porta-potty guy and Montana Boy, Kaleb. Kaylor assures Liv, “It’s not as bad as it sounds.” What Kaylor doesn’t realize is that it’s definitely as bad as it sounds, just in a different way than she might be imagining (Torin looks like the 18-year-old treasurer of a frat). Either way, Kaleb freaked out about it, and Liv’s like, You obviously weren’t being malicious, or you would have picked a better guy. Kaylor decides to invite Torin to Saddle Ranch even though Aaron will be there. If the producers manage to create another roof moment, Torin and his stupid little hats are cooked.
Finally, it’s PPG girls’ night. Serena grills kebabs, corn, and vegan dogs for JaNa and Leah. JaNa tries to convince the others and herself that Kenny is “obsessed with Juan” and that Kenny’s reasoning for not wanting to live with her for only two months was “valid enough for her to humble herself.” Luckily, Leah is like, Absolutely not. We find out that Kenny has one-bedroom leases in both Dallas and New York, and they’ll be up at their one-year relationship mark. Even Serena, who has zero interest in living with a man she’s not married to, thinks it’s totally reasonable to move in with a partner after a year. Leah shares how afraid she is about “the C-word” after her carousel of doctor’s appointments. Serena and JaNa assure her that even in the worst-case scenario, she has a village behind her. They all bond over how hard it can be to tell people closest to you when you’re struggling because you don’t want to burden them, but also how much it isn’t a burden when you get to help your friends. Serena goes on to reveal just how rough her anxiety has gotten and how hard it is that the things she loves, like being an extrovert, presumably on social media, trigger it. They talk about how influencer life is a “lose-fucking-lose,” then giggle about Party City and Jack Sparrow, and I quickly lose the plot. But the plot is absolutely “real friendship,” I will tell you that.
Next week, the plastic babies are back, no one wants to go to Kendall’s birthday party, and Aaron and Kaylor argue in a parking lot like it’s 2007 and they’re starring on The Hills. Can’t wait to see if the Kenny villain edit continues!
VULTURE NEWSLETTER
Keep up with all the drama of your favorite shows!
Vox Media, LLC Terms and Privacy Notice