Much of Jackson Doolan’s memory from December 14 is a blur, but there is one moment that remains crystal clear.
The Bondi lifeguard was one of the first people on the scene after two gunmen began to shoot at the Chanukah by the Sea Jewish celebration.
In his first television interview since the tragedy, Mr Doolan spoke with the ABC about the shock and chaos that unfolded.
Amidst the confusion, he remembers treating 14-year-old Chaya, who had been shot in the leg.
“She was just in a lot of pain … and I think just in a lot of shock,” Mr Doolan recalled.
“That probably sticks with me the most, just the fear in a lot of the victims’ eyes, but especially hers because I noted how young she was.”
Mr Doolan was pictured running barefoot to the scene of the terror attack, which went viral. (Supplied: Alexandra Ching)
“Jacko”, as he is known to colleagues, said he made sure he spent a lot of time with her.
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As he applied pressure to her wound, he tried to comfort her as best he could.
“I was just saying, ‘you’re going to get through this, you’re going to get through this, we’ll all get through it’,” Mr Doolan said.
“Luckily for her, you know, she did and so [I’m] thankful.”
Chaya, whom Mr Doolan has since reconnected with, was just one of the injured he helped that night.
‘Special bond for the rest of our lives’
As Australia marks a National Day of Mourning for the victims of the terrorist attack, he is also trying to process the horror he witnessed.
“It was a lot … some really horrific injuries and stuff that, you know, people should never probably be exposed to,” he said.
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After taking some leave over the holiday period, Mr Doolan is back at work, which he said has come as a relief.Â
He has also taken comfort from the support of his family, friends and colleagues, some of whom were also there on the night.
“The boys that were there on the day, I feel like we’re going to probably have a special bond for the rest of our lives,” Mr Doolan said.
“I’d look around, and all the boys were sort of there, and we’d just give each other a nod.”
That bond they now share has helped him and his surf lifesaving family cope.
Mr Doolan was amongst other heroes, including Ahmed al-Ahmed, to receive a standing ovation at the SCG at the final Test of the Ashes series.
Chaya and Mr Doolan saw each other during the final Test of the Ashes series. (Supplied)
Lifeguard image went viral
In the aftermath of the attack, an image of Mr Doolan running toward the scene barefoot and holding a defibrillator went viral.
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That night he was about 15 minutes from finishing his shift at nearby Bronte when he heard gunshots reverberating from Bondi Beach.
A radio call came through from colleagues, already at the scene, requesting as many first aid supplies as possible.
He and a trauma nurse who heard what had happened jumped into his car and drove toward Bondi.
They arrived at neighbouring Tamarama when it quickly occurred to them that the area would have been cordoned off by police, so they stopped the car and ran.
“I had no shoes on, which was fine to me. I’m from Queensland, so a lot of us get around in barefoot up there,” Mr Doolan said.
“I’ve grabbed the defibrillator, and I didn’t even think, to be honest. I just knew I needed to help. There wasn’t much thought into it.”
Mr Doolan is still processing what he saw that evening. (ABC News: Geoff Kemp)
Mr Doolan recalled hundreds of people running in the opposite direction, but the fact that he was running into danger did not cross his mind.
“My brain was probably just in fight or flight mode and I just knew that the victims needed the defibrillator, and they probably needed all the first aid supplies,” he said.
“It’s sort of, I guess, in our DNA … I was backing up my friends and I knew that they’d been an attack on our community and I just wanted to help. That was it.”
While Bondi and the nation is still grieving, Mr Doolan is adamant about one thing: “I know that we won’t be defined by this.”
“It’s just such an iconic beach, time heals everything and I think with time the Bondi community can get through it together,” he said.
“When we struggle, someone picks you up. It’s just the way things work down here. We love each other. There’s just so much love.”