Dan writes the Back Page. Art by Shafer Brown.

Remember a decade ago, when our biggest concern about Apple was that it made crappy laptop keyboards?

Ah, yes, the good old days.

Here in 2026, hardware design seems to be the one thing that the company is doing right. I’ve got an M4 MacBook Air, and it’s honestly hard to find anything wrong with it. That iPhone 17 Pro in orange? A thing of beauty. Not to get ahead of Jason’s annual report card results, but it kind of feels like we’ve kind of run aground after that category.

Software quality? Ehhhh. Social impact? Hoo boy.

Look, I don’t want to be a bummer. I’m dropping the bit here for a hot minute, because it’s hard to crack jokes about Tim Cook being a robot or the dread god Glog-Raggopth waking from his slumber when they both kind of feel a bit too close to home.

To my mind, the company hasn’t been headed in this wrong of a direction since they started driving with Apple Maps.…