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The final trailer for Ron Howard’s Eden has dropped. This story is so obscure and weird I think the only two people in the world who know about it is me and Ron Howard. Either way, I guess I’m looking forward to it – even if I know it will be a rough sit for a variety of reasons. But I think that I will have to see it because of the true story. Here is the trailer:
“A darkly comic tale of murder and survival, focusing on an eclectic group of characters who abandon civilization for the Galápagos Islands. They are all searching for the answer to that ever-pressing question that plagues us all: what is the meaning of life? Eden (2025) is the new thriller by Ron Howard, starring Jude Law, Sydney Sweeney and Ana de Armas. ”
The original story is so bizarre and it only makes sense if you understand pendulum theory. That is how the pendulum swings from wild freedom and bohemia and excess over to Conservativism. We’re in one such pendulum swing now, which is what makes Eden inadvertently timely. It really is about 2025. It just doesn’t know it. I do expect it will become a cult classic, one of those movies people can’t even believe got made. It will be, like, John Waters’ number one film of the year, I feel sure.
I am obsessed with the story not because of the true crime aspect as much as this phase of the American character that seeks to build utopias, which inevitably become dystopias. These folks escaped Hitler — real Hitler, not fake Hitler — to build a utopian paradise on the Galapagos Islands. In a story worthy of Charles Darwin himself, each of them is picked off one by one in a game of survival of the fittest.
Anyway, can’t wait!
Meanwhile, Americana is coming out just as the heat index for Sydney Sweeney is at all-time high, for sane people anyway, not for the insane — those stuck back on the Galapagos. There is a version of this story where the American Eagle ads and various news items about Sydney Sweeney might be deliberate to drive up box office among the normies. But I don’t know if even Sydney Sweeney can break the curse of modern day Hollywood but hope springs eternal.
Both of these movies are my jam, bro. I can’t wait to watch them.
“Americana – in theaters August 15, 2025. Starring Sydney Sweeney, Paul Walter Hauser, Halsey, Simon Rex, with Eric Dane, and Zahn McClarnon”
Do I expect the hive mind and the mean girls to savage these movies because they hate Sydney Sweeney? Yes, I do. Does that mean anything in the big picture? no, it doesn’t. POUND SAND.
And that’s not all for Ms. Sweeney. The Housemaid is also coming out at year’s end. That should be fun.
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