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88 min Sarr, seeking a hat-trick, oozes down the right and crosses to the back post to meet Mitchell’s arrival … but Sarr does well to leap into the challenge, kicking behind.
87 min Oh and please forgive me: in al the wiring excitement, I forgot to advise that Palace removed Wharton and Larson for Uche and Hughes.
86 min Spurs win a free-kick just outside the D, dead centre. Simons fancies it, then blooters directly into the wall, looking to go underneath it. Eventually, the ball goes into touch, Danso slings in a long throw, and Palace clear.
83 min “It’s not all bad news for Spurs today,” gallowshumours Nick Smith. “They’ve expanded the number of teams that can get into the playoffs next season so they’ve an outside chance of returning first time.”
Arf. And what a lot of nonsense that is – football existing to make money, not making money because it exists. Sadly, the official body clearly doesn’t grasp the difference between sport and entertainment.
81 min Finally, we’re allowed to have some football, Sarr bursting forward and delivering a pass that, for a moment looks like it’s arriving into Simons’ stride. But Clyne comes over to hump away, then Bissoma is booked for complaining about a foul given against Danso.
80 min We wait, and fans leave. The beautiful game.
Photograph: Shaun Brooks/CameraSport/Getty ImagesShare
Updated at 16.47 EST
78 min The ref disappears down the tunnel; I don’t think he’s a Spurs fan. In the meantime, Palace ready Will Hughes, and it turns out there’s a problem with the ear piece and what have you. This also happened when Spurs played Arsenal; in N17, even the radio waves are failing. But here’s a revolutionary idea: football was fine for well over a century without this nonsense and no one cares about it, so why not just do without?
76 min “Thoughts on Spurs,” begins Finn Curry. “This is what years of arrogant, presumptive ownership looks like. The assumption we’ll always be top five and a total lack of awareness of how things move and evolve in the Premier League. Throw in plenty of mercenary managers and players, who don’t give a [redacted] about the club and only see a quick buck an/or a stepping stone for something better and it’s no wonder the fans have given up. We’ve been served [redacted] for years by people on and off the pitch who take us for granted. Quite honestly we deserve to go down now. We’ll be a meme and the laughing stock of course, but other clubs would do well to learn from what they are seeing. Ideal scenario now would be a year in the Championship with the kids playing and the idiot senior players who can’t perform being forced to train in the reserves.”
Even successful clubs treat fans poorly, but of course it’s worse when the football is as bad as it is.
74 min Porro rants his way off, sharing sentiments with all in his way before hurling a water bottle into the ground; that’ll teach it.
Pedro Porro seems surprised to be coming off. Photograph: Catherine Ivill/AMA/Getty ImagesShare
Updated at 16.46 EST
74 min Two more changes for Spurs, Solanke off for Richarlison and significantly less than gruntled Porro giving way to Simons.
72 min Wharton snaps a cross into the box and Strand Larsen gets there before Danso; they sort of kick each other, and I don’t think that’s a penalty; the ref gives Spurs a free-kick.
71 min Mitchell carries forward and punches into Strand Larsen, who has Danso pinned, turning him too easily, right of centre, and bending a low left-footer just past the far post. He’s growing nicely into his new team and is, for mine, a decent upgrade on Mateta, one of the worst one-on-one finishers I’ve ever seen.
Updated at 16.37 EST
70 min The oles come out as Palace retain possession with 20 minutes-odd still to play. Spurs’ next five fixtures: Atletico away, Liverpool away, Atletico home, Forest home, Sunderland away. Don’t laugh.
68 min Better from Spurs, Tel taking a quick throw to find Solanke, who dashes into the box between Mitchell and Richards, shooting low … but Henderson makes a decent save with his foot. “Weight always forward,” explains Joe Hart, who’s growing into a really insightful co-commentator.
67 min Change for Palace, Spurs’ Bilbao hero Johnson replacing Guessand.
Brennan Johnson comes on to a warm reception from both sets of fans. Photograph: Javier García/ShutterstockShare
Updated at 16.37 EST
67 min Guessand carries forward and, in space, has three men up with him. But, desperate to find the killer ball, he hangs on too long before finding Sarr down the right, and the cross is predictably blocked.
65 min Gray is the player trying to lift it; he’s 19, which speaks volumes about the rest. I’m looking forward to seeing how he develops when allowed to play in his position every week.
64 min “Igor Tudor will be fine,” reckons Kári Tulinius, “nothing that happens across the next couple of months will define his life or career, but I can’t help but feel for him when his best defender panics, concedes a penalty and gets himself sent off. Tudor puts me in mind of a medieval king, looking at an approaching army from his ramparts, only to notice that someone’s jammed his foot into the winch that raises the drawbridge.”
I’m wondering if he’ll resign.
62 min But here’s Gallagher now, fed down the right by Porro and looking to work a crossing lane, instead whamming into shins and taking the corner … which comes to nowt.
Updated at 16.28 EST
61 min A ball over the top and into the channel, Clyne charging on to it and past Tel, now a left wing-back. From a tight angle, he tries a shot that, for a second, looks like it might float into the far side-netting, but it doesn’t.
59 min Spurs had a little flurry immediately after half-time, but now Palace are knocking it about under nae pressure. You’d think someone would want to charge about to get things going – isn’t that Connor Gallagher’s thing? So far, though, we’ve barely seen him.
58 min “At this point,” says Peter McLeod, “all that’s left is for us to wonder how we will make our situation even more humiliating. It’s extraordinary, in fact, knowing that it will happen, but not knowing how.”
The Germans have a word for this, but I can’t publish it in a family newspaper.
56 min Here comes Gray again, lovely feet twinkling into the box; Riad does just enough, nudging him off balance, and though he bounces up after falling, Richards tidies up and clears.
56 min Gray has been a bright spot for Spurs and he beats Clyne down the right, crossing, then, when the ball won’t come down for Tel, he slides to the edge where Palhinha shoots wide.
The only player playing at his full potential for Spurs. Photograph: John Walton/PAShare
Updated at 16.26 EST
53 min Palace have taken over, but need to be wary that, if they concede, things might change. Newcastle gave a brilliant demonstration of how to play with 10 last evening, brave enough to keep two up and with a narrow three able to dominate midfield. Spurs, I think, are playing 5-3-1.
51 min Now it’s Palace with the ball, winning a corner which they waste. It’s been a difficult season for them, but there’s no reason they can’t finish it as Conference League winners and they seem to be running into form at the right time.
49 min “Many Spurs fans, up until fairly recently, would have staunchly defended Van de Ven and Romero as being one of the best defensive pairings in the league,” returns Alexandra Ashton. “Both of them have let us down at absolutely critical moments. Both have attitude problems and are not as good as they think. I am so disappointed with Micky. If Real Madrid came in with 80m for him, I would bite their hand off”.”
Romero reminds me of what Shane Warne said of Monty Panesar: “He hasn’t played 33 Tests, he’s played one Test 33 time.” Just when you think he’s cut out the self-indulgent ill discipline, he does it again. Van de Ven I think might develop in a more nurturing environment, but what he did tonight was a total headloss.
Photograph: Harry Murphy/Danehouse/Getty ImagesShare
Updated at 16.20 EST
47 min Tel takes the corner from the other side, it’s a poor effort … but one Henderson feels he has to tip over. Back goes Tel to the right and this time Palhinha wins the header, but guides his effort into Riad. There are calls for a penalty, but he couldn’t get out of the road. Spurs have started the half well.
46 min Tel picks out Danso at the far post, he’s goi a run on to a free header, and punishes it straight at Henderson who punches away and Richards heads behimd.
46 min Presumably unable to stand the sight of them, Tudor sends his players out early. Off we go again, Spurs winning an immediate corner.