When Annaliese Holland was told she could die within the next year, she celebrated.
“It was a really happy thing,” she tells triple j’s hack.
“When you’ve been sick for such a long time it becomes something that’s not so scary.
“It sounds strange but it’s incredibly empowering.”Â
Annaliese — or Annie to her friends and family — has been approved for voluntary assisted dying in South Australia, and will end her life in months.
The grim deadline is in stark contrast to Annie’s warm personality: the 26-year-old from Adelaide is committed to using her remaining days to have frank conversations about what end-of-life care looks like for young Australians.
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“If I really think about it at night, it kind of f***s with me,” she admits.
“We don’t know what happens after we close our eyes.
“So I’m a little scared, in that sense.”
But quickly, Annie is back to her light-hearted self.
“I’m dying!” she laughs.
“We need to talk about it.”
Annaliese Holland celebrated her 26th birthday in January 2026. (Instagram: Annaliese Holland)
Annie’s secret day
Voluntary assisted dying (VAD) is currently accessible in every state and territory in Australia except the Northern Territory.
The process gives eligible adults with an advanced, incurable illness the opportunity to request medical assistance to end their life.
While laws differ slightly between jurisdictions, patients only have access to VAD if they are living with a condition that is likely to cause death within six to 12 months, according to two specially trained doctors.
If you need someone to talk to, call:Lifeline on 13 11 14Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800MensLine Australia on 1300 789 978Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467Beyond Blue on 1300 22 46 36Headspace on 1800 650 890QLife on 1800 184 527
Annie has already chosen the date she wishes to die, but has decided not to reveal it publicly.
“The most important thing is protecting my family,” she says.
“I went through this with one of my gorgeous friends, and I saw the outcome of what happens when the public knows.
“It was messy.”
‘A horrible way to go’
Annie has known for years that she will never reach old age.
She has battled chronic illness since childhood, but at 18 was diagnosed with a rare condition called Autoimmune Autonomic Ganglionopathy (AAG).
AAG causes the immune system to attack the autonomic nervous system, and although not always terminal, Annie says by the time she was diagnosed, doctors told her the damage to her body was already severe.
“At that point, my suffering was so much and I’d become such a shell of myself that I realised quality is so much more important than quantity,” she says.
Annaliese Holland has been living with a very rare autoimmune condition for years, suffering in pain and having to be fed through a tube. (Instagram: Annaliese Holland)
Annie says she lives in agony, enduring more than a dozen injections a day for pain relief, and vomiting constantly.
“I probably spend 17 hours a day in bed or on the couch.
“Soon I’ll have my teeth removed,” she adds, noting her jaw is slowly dissolving.
Annie is fed intravenously, but says she is currently using the last vein accessible after others became infected or blocked.
“If I get a clot in it there’s no way to feed me and basically I will die through starvation,” she explains.
“I’ve watched others with my disease go through that and it’s a horrible way to go.”Making the call
Deciding to access voluntary assisted dying would have seemed unusual, even for Annie, just a few years ago.
“I used to be one of those people who was actually against voluntary assisted dying,” she tells hack.
“It wasn’t until I got sick that my views on it completely changed.”
Annie says she only realised assisted dying was an option when she met Lily Thai, a 23-year-old also suffering AAG, who ended her life just months after South Australia’s voluntary assisted dying laws came into effect in 2023.
“We just had the most beautiful friendship in that time and spent nearly every day together,” Annie recalls.
“I pinky-promised her I’d do anything she wanted me to do, so I held her hand as she underwent VAD.
“She was so ready and so brave.”
Last year, Annie suffered sepsis after a major surgery and needed to be resuscitated.
“It was the first time I was more terrified of being around in five years time, than I was to die,” she says.
“I said to my dad, ‘I’ve had enough. I can’t do this.'”
After initially saying he was scared Annie was giving up, her dad ultimately backed the decision to access VAD.
“He came and sat on my bed and we burst into tears,” she says.
“When you’re unwell, it doesn’t just affect you, it affects your entire family.”
The ‘f*** it’ list
While admitting there is not a lot of time left, Annie is determined to make the most of it.
She has put together a “f*** it” list: her twist on a bucket list of things she wants to experience or accomplish before she dies.
That includes a wedding, which she celebrated earlier this year.
Putting on a wedding dress and celebrating the moment with her loved ones has been one of Annaliese Holland’s dreams. Â (Instagram: Annaliese Holland)
Annie is also hoping to witness a birth and hold a newborn baby.
“I’m OK with dying, but the bit that gets me is the fact that I’ve always wanted to be a mum.
“All of my friends and girls my age are having babies and I can’t do that.”
One of the big things on Annaliese Holland’s “f*** it” list was to see herself in a wedding dress. (Instagram: Annaliese Holland)
Fighting for choice
Also on Annie’s list is a “celebration of life” instead of a funeral.
She has already put together the playlist, which includes songs by Lily Allen, the Beatles and Over the Rainbow.
Annie says she is hoping to document the process of dying to help others considering the same path.
She says she hopes changes are made in the future, including more discussions around voluntary assisted dying with patients.
Under the South Australian law, doctors and other health practitioners are prohibited from “initiating discussion about voluntary assisted dying or suggesting voluntary assisted dying to a patient they provide health or professional care services to”, and any health workers who do could face disciplinary action.
“If you don’t know about it, you don’t know it’s a choice,” Annie says.
She says she has also come across doctors with personal objections to the practice working in the health system.
“I had a bit of a fight with a few doctors about it because not everyone believes in it,” she says.
“But it’s something that needs to be spoken about and needs to be brought up because it is a choice and no-one’s saying you have to do it.”
Annaliese Holland wants young people to talk more about death. (ABC: Cale Matthews)
Annie’s advice for life
When Annie’s time comes, she says she will be surrounded by her loved ones and her “beautiful” doctor Chloe Furst.
“She will be the doctor to administer it for me,” she says.
“They’ve told me that I can have as many people there as I want.”
Annie says she can tell her time is close, because she’s losing many of the things that make her feel herself.
“The way I look and sound … lots of little bits of me.
“Those things are really important.”
Apart from speaking more openly about death and people making end-of-life plans for themselves, Annie hopes other young Australians can take her advice to live life fully.
“Forget about the bulls***,” she says.
“If you’re not happy, do something to change it, and do whatever that takes.”
Annie admits it is hard to think about the world still spinning without her.
She hopes that when she is gone, others will reflect on her life positively and take inspiration.
“I just want people to remember me as me, not my illness,” she says.
“I have fought f***ing hard and I want everyone to see that because I’m proud.”