A single Aussie is begging men to stop asking her and other women to come over to their place for a first date.
Gabby Miffy is back on the dating apps after her six-year relationship ended and she’s been shocked and confused by blokes propositioning her after just a few messages.
While most people would assume drinks, dinner, a coffee, or even a walk would suffice as a first meet cute, others try to skip a few steps to get to the action.
The 28-year-old cafe owner told Yahoo Lifestyle the question should be off the cards.
“I’m not coming over, I don’t know you from a bar of soap. I don’t even know your last name,” she said.
“It’s just so interesting to me to invite someone over before going on a date.”
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While she acknowledged that plenty of people are on dating apps for fun, no-strings attached flings, inviting someone over for a wine and movie shouldn’t be the go-to question.
In the six months that she’s been back on the apps, she’s noticed many people aren’t looking for anything long-term.
“The sexualising is quite frequent. It’s a lot more based around sex,” she said.
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Gabby vented her frustrations about this issue in a TikTok video and many women agreed with her.
“I had the same last night, Second message in and he’s like, You wanna come over and watch a movie at 930pm at night’. I was like, ‘Ah nope all good thanks,'” said one.
“Literally the biggest ick for me,” another said.
“Why do they do this? I need at least three dates to see if I’m even remotely interested,” wrote a third.
Gabby said she loves to meet people organically, but admitted the apps can be “nice” when you don’t have anyone to talk to or “feel bored”.
Gabby Miffy couldn’t believe how often she is asked one question by men on dating apps. Source: Supplied/Gabby Miffy
But she has also noticed another question that men sometimes ask as a way to get into bed with them.
“If they ask if you live alone before you’ve gone on the date.. you’re not actually asking to see how I live, you’re wondering if you can come over later,” she said.
Gabby typically has a three-date rule before a suitor is allowed to come over or visit her at her cafe.
How 28-year-old approaches the dating scene
There are plenty of ways you could have a first date, but Gabby has found the one that fits her style.
“I like going for drinks rather than dinner. You can go round for round, it loosens you up a bit, and if you’re not enjoying yourself, it’s very easy to leave,” the 28-year-old said.
“The guys have been good with paying for the first date, but I like to split it fifty-fifty.”
Gabby said she struggles with coffee catch ups and loathes them compared to evening dates for drinks.
“I don’t want to see you in the daylight,” she joked. “I guess it’s not as sexy as drinks.”
She said the biggest turn-off is when a guy sexualises the conversation too quickly before going on a date – something she says is “really important” to her.
“You want to know the other person is keen for a chat and a date then seeing where it leads to, rather than sexualising things before you’ve met,” she said.
“For me it’s important to have fun banter, I love a bit of back and forth banter, rather than ‘Oh I like what you look like, let’s go on a date.'”
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