A woman has revealed the unusual reason her friend told her not to attend her wedding, sparking an online debate over whether the bride’s request went too far.
The 21-year-old woman shared that she was invited to a friend’s wedding, and the dress code was black tie.
“I got invited to an acquaintance’s wedding. We aren’t close by any means. And we aren’t related. But it’s a wedding with a long guest list, so I wasn’t really surprised to be invited,” the woman wrote.
“On the card, it said that the wedding was a black-tie ceremony.”
She added that she was a student and could not afford an expensive dress, but went out and bought a black dress for the occasion.
“So I bought a simple black dress specifically for the wedding, nothing extravagant, but I’m a broke student, and existing is a strain on my wallet.”
She said she contacted the bride directly to make sure the gown fit the black-tie dress code.
“But just to make sure, I sent a DM to the bride and asked if the dress was okay. And she said that it’s not, I should wear something pastel,” she wrote.
The woman explained that after telling the bride she didn’t have any other options, she was told to “not show up” unless the dress was pastel.
“The bride wanted the pictures to look nice. I then told her that I didn’t really have anything good in pastel because I moved and left behind a lot of my stuff,” she added.
“She told me that I should not show up unless I buy something in pastel to fit the actual dress code. Rude but okay.”
“I didn’t want the hassle of buying something else. So, I politely told her then that I probably can’t make it to the wedding. And that was the end of that conversation.”
She added that she later found out other guests were also uninvited because the bride thought their outfits did not fall under the black-tie dress code.
“Today, I heard a rumour that the couple broke up because the bride was uninviting all of the groom’s female friends for one reason or another,” she wrote.
“I don’t really know what happened behind the scenes. But there must have been some drama. So, I told my friend about the dress thing, and she thinks the bride is in the right.
“She had a dress code, and none of us was following it, so the female friends/acquaintances of the groom are the rude ones.
“But I don’t feel like I’m being rude. The invite had black tie written on it. I don’t really know. What do you guys think?”
Commenters rallied behind the woman, saying that it was the bride’s fault for not specifying pastel on her wedding invite.
“She should have specified pastels for women in the dress code if it was that important,” one person wrote.
“I would not expect to go to a black-tie event and be surrounded by women in pastel garden party dresses,” another person wrote.
“Also, if the dress code was pastels, then the invitation should have specified pastels, not just black tie.”
“If you hadn’t texted the bride, you wouldn’t have even known about the pastel dress code because it wasn’t shared anywhere,” a third commented.
A fourth commented: “If she wanted pastel, she should’ve specified that. Even then, it’s ridiculous to police people’s clothing. Pastel isn’t flattering to everyone.”
Other commenters said the bride obviously did not know what a “black tie” dress code meant.
“The bride has no idea what the terminology even means,” one person commented.
“She sounds exhausting. Also, black tie is evening wear, and pastels are day wear,” wrote another.
“So she’s also wrong about that in the first place, on top of everything else.”
Another commenter said no bride should be able to dictate what colour their guests wear to the wedding.
“You do not get to dictate what your guests wear outside of choosing a dress code (black tie, formal, cocktail, etc.),” they wrote.
“That is the limit of what you are allowed to demand of your guests. Please, for the love of God, make it stop.”