Nicole Kidman reflected on feeling “beyond lonely” on the night she won her Oscar, saying her 2001 divorce from Tom Cruise left her wanting “someone that I can share this with.”
Kidman took home the coveted Best Actress trophy for her role in The Hours in 2003, fresh on the heels of her contentious divorce from the Top Gun star years prior.
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Speaking of Oscar night on the Therapuss podcast, Kidman said the career-high moment came amid a personal low.
“I had the pinnacle of my success, and I went home and was so lonely,” she recalled.
“That sort of confluence of events where you go, ‘I wish…’” she continued. “I had my mum with me and my dad, but I was like, ‘Where’s my partner, someone that I can share this with?’”
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The Oscar-winner added that the mixed emotions felt jarring. “It was one of the most profound moments where I went, ‘I’ve got to get a life,’ and at the same time, I’m holding this gold statue where you go, ‘This is it. This is the highest sort of prize you can get in our industry,’ and so grateful and yet so lonely,” she said.
Summing up the experience in one word, Kidman said her 2003 Oscar night was “weird” while imagining what it would’ve been like to share her success with a partner.
“I’d love to be able to just be wrapped in somebody’s arms right now,” she said.
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It’s not the first time Kidman has spoken of her conflicted feelings about her Oscar win. In 2024, she said “was struggling with things in my personal life, yet my professional life was going so well,” adding that she “wish[ed] I could have enjoyed it more.”
“I went to bed alone,” she told journalist Dave Karger. “I was in bed before midnight. If I ever won again, I’m telling you, I’d be out for 24 hours.”
Kidman and Cruise married in 1990 and welcomed two children, Isabella and Connor, before their 2001 split. Kidman was said to be blindsided by Cruise’s divorce filing, with reports circulating at the time that his involvement in the Church of Scientology caused friction in their marriage.
The Practical Magic star later married Keith Urban in 2006, and welcomed two daughters, Sunday Rose and Margaret Faith, with the musician in 2008 and 2010.
The pair separated in 2025 before finalising their divorce earlier this year.
Kidman is currently promoting Practical Magic 2, a sequel to the 1998 cult classic fantasy co-starring Sandra Bullock.