After spending more than a decade working in the music industry, Aaron Andrews now finds himself on a completely different path.
The 37-year-old married dad-of-two from Bangor is an author, former international DJ and now an advocate for men’s mental health. But he’s been on a very personal journey that has led him to write about the experiences that have shaped his understanding of life.
“For over 12 years, I worked internationally in the music industry as a DJ, travelling, performing, and experiencing a lifestyle that, from the outside, many people might consider exciting and fulfilling. But as I’ve come to understand, what life looks like on the outside doesn’t always reflect what’s happening on the inside,” Aaron told Belfast Live.
“I was part of a DJ duo called Miami House Party and we had international acclaim, a number one in the iTunes chart in America, top 20 billboard in America as well. I’m just incredibly grateful for the experiences that we had and getting to play in everywhere, Ibiza, Magaluf, Marbella and America – we just had a really I want to say lucky break
“My whole idea of success and happiness wasn’t defined by what I was getting from that unbelievable time of life. I think it was just that I lived more on the moment rather than in the moment.
“Alongside my music career, I’ve also worked extensively supporting young people and adults with learning disabilities, an experience that has greatly influenced my understanding of compassion, human connection, and the importance of listening to others,” he said.
Today, as a husband and father-of-two, Aaron says his priorities and perspectives on life have changed considerably.
“Over the years, my experiences with grief, personal struggles, fatherhood, mental health, and the constant search for happiness and purpose began to fundamentally change the way I viewed the world,” he explained.
“Just like anything, as you get older, your understanding of the meaning of life begins to change a bit – becoming a dad and what I went through with losing my own dad, navigating different challenges, made me start questioning things that I’d probably taken for granted previously.”
Aaron’s newly released book, The Moment I Realised I Knew Nothing , has just been published and is now available on Amazon.
Aaron’s newly released book, The Moment I Realised I Knew Nothing , has just been published
He says the inspiration behind it came during something remarkably ordinary: “A Friday walk with my young son along the Co Down coast. I loved that walk and being out with him, and it was actually whenever I was just pushing his pram along the seafront that I was listening to my own thoughts and started reflecting on what peace really meant to me.
“What began as a normal day together became a moment of profound personal reflection, forcing me to confront questions about peace, happiness, identity, and the experiences we carry throughout our lives.
“It made me realise just how much of my life I’d spent believing I understood things that, in reality, I was only beginning to question. That experience became the foundation of The Moment I Realised I Knew Nothing.”
Aaron says his new book explores subjects that affect so many of us but are often difficult to speak openly about, including mental health and the pressures we place upon ourselves; grief, loss, and learning to live alongside difficult experiences; the pursuit of happiness and the meaning of genuine peace; and identity and self-worth, alongside the expectations of modern society.
He added: “It’s a deeply personal book, written not from the perspective of someone who has all the answers, but from someone who has spent much of his life discovering how little he truly knows. One of the central messages is that perhaps we don’t always need to have life figured out. Perhaps we simply need to become more honest with ourselves about what it means to be human.”
Aaron is particularly passionate about encouraging more open conversations surrounding men’s mental health: “Too often, men feel an expectation to remain strong, appear successful, and quietly navigate their personal struggles.
“In about 2019, I went through a previous short marriage and divorce and it was all over 20 years after losing my dad, and I don’t think I ever really dealt with that the right way. Off the back of my divorce I realised that I’d never processed the grief properly from my dad’s death.
“I went down the counselling/therapy route, and I believe that was probably the foundation of what got me into writing. I started writing a lot of stuff down and trying to get to grips with everything and make sense of some of the questions that I was asking myself.”
“I think we all agree that a lot of men sort of grow up believing that they’re supposed to have everything under control – you’re encouraged to be strong, provide, work hard, and just get on with it.
“I got to a stage where I realised that the number of times people have told you to look after yourself, and you tell yourself you are, but then you realise you’re actually not. I think the first time I was truly honest with myself was when I was willing to be vulnerable but I don’t think vulnerability makes somebody weak.
“I was raised by two amazing Belfast parents who, in the height of The Troubles, lived in a very high conflict area and their faith kept them steadfast and it probably made me a better person. My dad was what you consider to be that hard, old school Belfast man, but not afraid to show his vulnerability.
“I have explored and studied CBT, therapy, and counselling and all those sides of things, but, you know, I’m just coming at this as someone who’s experienced difficult periods and understands the importance of having those honest, vulnerable conversations.”
Aaron also hosts a podcast, The Moment I Realised
Through his writing, social media content, and his podcast, The Moment I Realised, Aaron says he hopes to create a space where honest conversations about life, vulnerability, and personal growth feel normal rather than uncomfortable.
He added: “As much as the book is hopefully to help other people, I found it a very cathartic experience. It was almost a self-reflection as well as a self-help book. It sounds pretty cliche but I don’t necessarily want people to finish the book agreeing with everything that I’ve written.
“I’d probably be quite happy if they disagreed with some of it, but I think what I would love is for someone to read a chapter, put the book down for a moment and think about their own life, maybe question something they’ve believed in for years.
“Also maybe for them to look at a difficult experience differently, I think that would be massively important, I think just simply realising that they’re not the only person who hasn’t got everything figured out – that’s the vulnerability that I wanted to come across more than anything.
“I think we put enormous pressure on ourselves to know who we are, where we’re going and what we’re supposed to be doing, and sometimes it’s OK to admit that we’re all still learning and life is a continuous learning experience.”
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