{"id":10744,"date":"2025-07-21T11:31:16","date_gmt":"2025-07-21T11:31:16","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/10744\/"},"modified":"2025-07-21T11:31:16","modified_gmt":"2025-07-21T11:31:16","slug":"eliza-paschke-opens-up-on-her-struggles-with-negative-self-talk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/10744\/","title":{"rendered":"Eliza Paschke opens up on her struggles with negative self-talk"},"content":{"rendered":"

I wouldn’t speak to my worst enemy the way I talk to myself<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Adjectives I use to describe myself internally<\/a>, but also publicly, include rank, spinster, desperate, fugly, frumpy, shallow, haggard, dense, disgusting, washed-up, gutter-rat, slob, and the list goes on.<\/p>\n

Just yesterday, I forwarded a photo of myself to my sister with the caption “Look, I’m Michelin Man”.<\/p>\n

I’m not proud of this. In fact, I’d die if I heard someone say that about themselves, but for some reason I always feel the urge to point out my flaws.<\/p>\n

READ MORE: Sydney mum saves $7300 a year on coffee thanks to one switch<\/a><\/p>\n

\"Eliza“I wouldn’t speak to my worst enemy the way I talk to myself,” Eliza Paschke admits. (Supplied\/Eliza Paschke)<\/p>\n

Despite these extremely harsh words of a self-loathing nature, I actually don’t dislike myself. I think I’m witty, hard-working and thoughtful.<\/p>\n

However, you’ll rarely hear me admit this, and I’ll certainly never be able to verbalise any positive physical attributes.<\/p>\n

I was put on the spot a few weeks ago when asked to say something I like about my body.<\/p>\n

I winced at the request and did everything possible to avoid the question.<\/p>\n

“I have an inoffensive face, I guess,” was what I eventually managed to deliver (with much hesitation).<\/p>\n

My awkwardness was palpable, but it was the best I could do.<\/p>\n

Even though I believe the things I’m saying, my self-deprecation hasn’t taken a toll on me mentally thus far, because I put myself down in a light-hearted and jovial manner.<\/p>\n

I find this banter breaks down barriers and enables me to connect with people. It creates a sense of approachability and familiarity.<\/p>\n

Until it doesn’t.<\/p>\n

Recently, I’ve found an increasing number of people are confronted by my satire. And if I’m completely honest, as I sit here reading this back, I can understand why.<\/p>\n

The shocked reactions are becoming more common, to the point where bullying myself is now upsetting others.<\/p>\n

It makes sense. We’re all craving kindness in a world that seems so full of adversity right now. <\/p>\n

For a daily dose of 9honey, subscribe to our newsletter here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\"ElizaThe self-deprecation used to be used as a way to connect, but now she’s dug deeper. (Supplied)<\/p>\n

So why can’t I be kind to myself? How did I get to a point where I default to an inner dialogue of insults without a second thought? <\/p>\n

I’ve been reflecting, and I can actually pinpoint the exact moment this belittling started.<\/p>\n

At 23, I moved from Adelaide to Melbourne to escape the pressure I felt to settle down.<\/p>\n

At 20, I attended my first wedding for a girl in my year at school. Every time I flew back, another friend was engaged, married or with child.<\/p>\n

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By 24, a few of my peers had three kids.<\/p>\n

I’m 39 now, and when I go home, I don’t know a single person who isn’t attached (this isn’t an exaggeration).<\/p>\n

I say I don’t care, but I feel judged. So in an effort to deflect the shame, I have a dig at myself before anyone else can.\u00a0<\/p>\n

It’s a coping mechanism so I don’t have to endure another pitiful stare. If I hear one more person say “Don’t worry, you’ll find the right guy one day”, I’ll scream!<\/p>\n

READ MORE: Perth girl makes history as she joins iconic US institution<\/a><\/p>\n

\"Eliza“If I hear one more person say, ‘Don’t worry, you’ll find the right guy one day’, I’ll scream.” (Supplied)<\/p>\n

So why not prevent this by getting on the front foot and laugh about dying alone with nine cats? It’s a successful way to entertain and disarm people at the same time.<\/p>\n

So now whenever I enter any situation, I protect myself by pre-empting the worst criticism and say it myself.<\/p>\n

I don’t even notice I’m doing it anymore, it’s become an automatic reflex.<\/p>\n

Sadly, the jokey self-deprecation has morphed into cynical self-talk, which as I discovered through some research, isn’t as harmless as I’d hoped.<\/p>\n

According to The Power of Your Subconscious Mind author Dr Joseph Murphy, your habitual thinking creates your destiny.<\/p>\n

I absolutely do not want to manifest dying alone with nine cats.\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"Eliza“There’s nothing worse than being stuck with a Debbie Downer, but I think there’s a happy medium.” (Supplied)<\/p>\n

I want to be a mother, and maybe even a partner one day, so the self-respect needs to evolve dramatically, before I can ask anyone else to love and respect me.<\/p>\n

I personally find arrogance unattractive, but negativity can be incredibly off-putting too.<\/p>\n

There’s nothing worse than being stuck with a Debbie Downer, but I think there’s a happy medium.<\/p>\n

So it’s time to quit trolling myself, kick Debbie to the curb, and start setting a better self-love example!<\/p>\n

Eliza also has a weekly podcast called Try Before You Die. You can listen here<\/a>, or wherever you get your podcasts!<\/p>\n

FOLLOW US ON WHATSAPP HERE<\/a>: Stay across all the latest in celebrity, lifestyle and opinion via our WhatsApp channel. No comments, no algorithm and nobody can see your private details.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"I wouldn’t speak to my worst enemy the way I talk to myself. Adjectives I use to describe…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":10745,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[64,63,447,134],"class_list":["post-10744","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-celebrities","tag-au","tag-australia","tag-celebrities","tag-entertainment"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10744","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10744"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10744\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10745"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10744"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10744"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10744"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}