Round 24, the stage was set. Bulldogs v Dockers. Winner makes finals. Loser calls time.<\/p>\n
Historically, when the Dockers are on match point, they\u2019ve always double-faulted.<\/p>\n
First bounce, I was pacing my friend\u2019s loungeroom. By quarter-time I was doubled over, unable to stomach the thought.<\/p>\n
This was bigger than finals, bigger than the game. It\u2019s a storyline that gets right to the heart of footy.<\/p>\n
It couldn\u2019t end here.<\/p>\n
Last year, I was laying on the big, grey couch in my then-boyfriend\u2019s little, grey apartment. A rumour popped up on Facebook: Nat Fyfe was going to retire.<\/p>\n
I gasped. It was too soon. I thought I had a year or two more.<\/p>\n
As I explained the situation to my boyfriend\u2019s blank expression, honest tears prickled at my eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhy do you care?\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
Sport is, if nothing else, an exercise in caring.<\/p>\n
We were playing in Sydney the next weekend. I immediately looked up Airbnbs.<\/p>\n
At lunch, my friend, Caro, mumbled over her phone.<\/p>\n
Another friend baulked. \u201cJohn Farnham died!?\u201d<\/p>\n
My heart lurched.<\/p>\n
Caro shook her head. \u201cMy Uber driver\u2019s name is Farnham.\u201d<\/p>\n
I relayed this story to my father, John Farnham\u2019s biggest fan, at dinner.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt will be a very sad day,\u201d he whispered, red-faced and teary at the mere mention.<\/p>\n
Maybe loving freakishly talented and slightly tragic icons with longish, blondish hair runs in my genes.<\/p>\n
\u2018In a patriarchal society, it\u2019s no small thing to be a fan of a man who has, as yet, never let me down.\u2019 Photograph: James Wiltshire\/AFL Photos\/Getty Images<\/p>\n
Dad\u2019s never met John Farnham. Whereas I, working in footy, have met Nat Fyfe many times. I\u2019ve always treated the high-profile people I meet as if they\u2019re normal people\u2013because, well, they are.<\/p>\n
Which is to say: I love Nat Fyfe, the player. But I also respect Nathan Fyfe, the person, enough to feel embarrassed about it.<\/p>\n
But really, should I be?<\/p>\n
Over the past 16 seasons, Nat Fyfe has been the hero. He was Achilles on the beaches of Troy in our highest of highs and Atlas holding up the sky in our lowest of lows.<\/p>\n
Off-field, as far as I could tell, he was simply a good person.<\/p>\n
In a patriarchal society that\u2019s perpetuated some less-than-inclusive and more-than-unsavoury attitudes, it\u2019s no small thing to be a fan of a man who has, as yet, never let me down.<\/p>\n
And hey, every footy tragic has their man.<\/p>\n
My friend was gifted a poster of Marcus Bontempelli with her face superimposed to remind her husband who he\u2019s supposed to love more.<\/p>\n
Another friend found out he was having twins. We joked their names would be Colleen (middle name Wood) and Penn (middle name Dilbury).<\/p>\n
There\u2019s a child-like fun in the admiration of heroes. But why does it have to be \u201cchild-like\u201d?<\/p>\n
I booked the Airbnb and took my brother (not the boyfriend) on a road trip to Sydney. After the game, we stared out over twinkling city lights and caught up on our lives.<\/p>\n
\u201cIsn\u2019t it funny?\u201d I mused. \u201cIf it weren\u2019t for me randomly caring about Nat Fyfe, we wouldn\u2019t be here, spending this time together.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIsn\u2019t that life?\u201d he replied. \u201cJust finding meaning in things until we die?\u201d<\/p>\n
The day the 2025 fixture was released in November, I booked flights to Perth.<\/p>\n
I was also planning my years-in-the-making European bucket list trip.<\/p>\n
The itinerary: leave Rome, fly to Perth, and then fly back overseas to finish my holiday.<\/p>\n
In the 22 rounds before his actual retirement announcement<\/a>, Nat Fyfe played in only four matches.<\/p>\n I was there for two of them.<\/p>\n skip past newsletter promotion<\/a><\/p>\n Sign up to From the Pocket: AFL Weekly<\/p>\n Jonathan Horn brings expert analysis on the week’s biggest AFL stories<\/p>\n Privacy Notice: Newsletters may contain information about charities, online ads, and content funded by outside parties. If you do not have an account, we will create a guest account for you on theguardian.com<\/a> to send you this newsletter. You can complete full registration at any time. For more information about how we use your data see our Privacy Policy<\/a>. We use Google reCaptcha to protect our website and the Google Privacy Policy<\/a> and Terms of Service<\/a> apply.<\/p>\n after newsletter promotion<\/p>\n A young Nat Fyfe clashes with Hawthorn\u2019s Cyril Rioli in 2015. Photograph: Heath Holden\/AAP<\/p>\n I\u2019d never been to a home game before, never been to Perth.<\/p>\n Come June 14th, when North Melbourne were up at three-quarter-time, and I had travelled 37 hours to be there, my head was in my hands.<\/p>\n Why did I leave Italy for this? Why do I follow this sport?<\/p>\n But when Fyfey came on as sub and the whole crowd cheered, I was swept up in a swell of 30,000 people who cared like I did.<\/p>\n Monday, 11 August 2025, the retirement announcement came<\/a>.<\/p>\n I gasped.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat?\u201d my friend asked.<\/p>\n This time, I didn\u2019t explain. Didn\u2019t let tears prickle at my eyes.<\/p>\n At least I\u2019ll still have my team.<\/p>\n It\u2019s just\u2026 I was a kid when Fyfe became a hero of mine. His retirement isn\u2019t just the end of an era for him, or the Dockers, but for me, my youth, and my last foray into fantastical fandom.<\/p>\n I can picture it: it\u2019s 2040, my teenage daughter is bringing a friend over.<\/p>\n I\u2019m on the couch, red wine in hand, watching the 2015 Crows v Dockers match \u2013 Nat Fyfe v Patty Dangerfield.<\/p>\n \u201cOh my god, Mum, you\u2019re so embarrassing.\u201d<\/p>\n And I\u2019ll smile, like, just you wait, kid.<\/p>\n Drafted two years after Dangerfield, Fyfie is retiring before him, having played 110 games fewer.<\/p>\n He\u2019s had over 25 surgeries.<\/p>\n Footy, as a grand metaphor for life, can be just as cruel.<\/p>\n I know why I follow football, why I flew 37 hours from Rome to Perth, why I haven\u2019t let myself cry, but why I need to.<\/p>\n Because I want to care about things in my life.<\/p>\n Because that\u2019s what gives it meaning.<\/p>\n People talk about getting their children pets to experience the life cycle of love and grief. May I suggest the Fremantle Dockers<\/a>?<\/p>\n Your kids will know heartache.<\/p>\n But they\u2019ll also know loyalty, integrity, courage and perseverance.<\/p>\n