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<\/p>\nI\u2019ve seen retirees trying to keep up, both to please their children, who have high expectations of financial help, and to impress their friends who are deeply entrenched in the retirement race alongside them. And it gets a bit tragic.<\/p>\n
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People blowing through their only savings on stuff, running up credit card debt, or gifting money they can\u2019t spare to adult children who don\u2019t realise how hard life has become \u2013 or worse, who make them feel obligated. Some kids even threaten to cut their parents off if they don\u2019t. We need to call this out, give it a name, and say out loud \u201cI\u2019m not in it to win it\u201d.<\/p>\n
Not everyone in retirement is rich. Not everyone can bankroll their kids, let alone cover their own needs and wants. And not everyone knows how to say, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, I just can\u2019t afford it. Could we take it down a notch and still have the fun together at a lower price point?\u201d<\/p>\n
Everyone fears being judged as the party pooper, or the parent who made bad financial decisions. But here\u2019s the truth: extreme wealth in retirement is rare among everyday Australians. And retirement isn\u2019t a race, it\u2019s a time for reflection, careful financial management, and, above all, finding real purpose and joy.<\/p>\n
The reality is we\u2019re still a long way from retirees being a majority of non-pensioners. The shift is happening, but slowly. In 2000, only about 22 per cent of new retirees were fully self-funded. By 2023, that figure had grown to around 43 per cent.<\/p>\n
That\u2019s progress, but it still means two-thirds of people starting retirement today rely \u2013 at least partly \u2013 on the pension. It will be at least another decade before the generation who\u2019ve had super above 9 per cent, invested in growth assets and compounding all their working lives, become the norm.<\/p>\n
Until then, half a generation is left to struggle while media, community and mateship rub their noses in a lifestyle they\u2019d love to have but simply can\u2019t afford.<\/p>\n
So how do we help? We start by talking honestly about what really drives long-term retirement satisfaction, and by helping people sidestep both the stereotypes of retirement and the insidious disease of keeping up with the Joneses.<\/p>\n
We stop feeding the fear that if you can\u2019t afford a luxury lifestyle or to bankroll your kids\u2019 first home, you\u2019ve somehow failed. Instead, we help people grow confident living with what they\u2019ve got \u2014 and show them it\u2019s still possible to have a great retirement.<\/p>\n
Because a great retirement isn\u2019t about comparison, or \u201cstuff\u201d or even wealth. It\u2019s about purpose, fulfilment, excitement and passion. It\u2019s about getting out there and participating.<\/p>\n
Let\u2019s face it: happiness doesn\u2019t come from dopamine hits \u2013 those quick, big, money-spending moments. That type of happiness subsides quickly (even if it hangs around on Instagram a long time).<\/p>\n
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Instead of talking about doing it tough, the chatter is about the standards we expect on our cruises, the new caravan and car, and the big trips on the horizon.<\/p>\n
Real contentment comes from eudaemonic happiness: the deeper kind that comes from meaning and purpose in retirement. And yes, financial security underpins it, but even that is within reach for many today as the age pension and super work together to create a solid base.<\/p>\n
So if you\u2019ve been feeling the pressure to keep up in retirement, stop and think about this: the only race worth winning is the one you run on your own terms. So, instead, take some time this weekend to do three things:<\/p>\n
1. Write down what really matters to you. Is it travelling within your own budget? Is it time with the grandkids? Is it looking after your health? Is it finding meaning by participating in organisations or causes you care about? Get clear on your top three, and remember, they don\u2019t have to revolve around spending.<\/p>\n
2. Reality-check your money. Look at what you\u2019ve got – the age pension, super, savings outside super, and your home – and remind yourself that this is your base. It\u2019s not about matching anyone else. It\u2019s about making what you have work for you, for the rest of your life, and finding steady, lasting happiness in this phase.<\/p>\n
3. Plan one joyful thing within your means. Don\u2019t stop doing things just because you need to be careful with money. Book the dinner with friends, make it a potluck. Plan the picnic with your family. Map out the road trip that doesn\u2019t blow your budget. Joy doesn\u2019t need a big price tag.<\/p>\n
Remember, you don\u2019t need a million dollars to have an epic retirement \u2013 it\u2019s all in how you live your life, and in choosing to live it proactively, within your means. And if you can teach your kids that, you\u2019ve given them one of the most valuable life skills we never talk about enough.<\/p>\n
Bec Wilson is the author of the bestseller How to Have an Epic Retirement and the newly released Prime Time: 27 Lessons for the New Midlife<\/a>. She writes a weekly newsletter at epicretirement.net<\/a> and hosts the Prime Time<\/a> podcast.<\/p>\n Advice given in this article is general in nature and is not intended to influence readers\u2019 decisions about investing or financial products. They should always seek their own professional advice that takes into account their own personal circumstances before making financial decisions.<\/p>\n