![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/image-ec81.png\")
\n\t\tI soon became the easy target for school bullies, says Jamie (Picture: Jamie Windust)<\/p>\n
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\n\t\tI soon became the easy target for school bullies, says Jamie (Picture: Jamie Windust)<\/p>\n
Entering the boys\u2019 changing room, sweaty and puffing, my heart was pounding.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
Sure, I was exhausted from the PE class I\u2019d just done, but that wasn\u2019t the real reason I was in fight or flight mode.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
Approaching the showers, the remark from a fellow student came like clockwork: \u2018Don\u2019t let that bender in here!\u2019\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
I was 14 at the time and I wasn\u2019t even out as gay<\/a> or non-binary<\/a> then. But this had a profound effect on me \u2013 to the point where I couldn\u2019t step foot in a gym until over a decade later.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n I had started middle school<\/a> at 13 and with it came a new cohort of boys on the precipice of puberty. As hormones were flying and we all began our journeys into becoming teenagers, I struggled to make friends. We didn\u2019t share any common interests and I soon became the easy target.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n \t\t From that moment on, every PE lesson would be the same. And I wasn\u2019t the only one singled out.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n There were two other boys in my class \u2013 one who was physically disabled<\/a> and another who was very shy \u2013 who would be told by the popular boys group to change in the corner.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n This progressed to not allowing us to shower, me especially. If I even tried to, they would get their towels ready to whip me away.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n \t\t\t\tJoin Metro’s LGBTQ+ community on WhatsApp\t\t\t<\/p>\n With thousands of members from all over the world, our vibrant LGBTQ+ WhatsApp channel<\/a> is a hub for all the latest news and important issues that face the LGBTQ+ community.<\/p>\n Simply\u00a0click on this link<\/a>, select \u2018Join Chat\u2019 and you\u2019re in! Don’t forget to turn on notifications!<\/p>\n Not only was it sad on a social level, it also prevented me from finding any enjoyment whatsoever in the sports that we were doing. This ostracisation would follow me from the changing rooms onto the pitch, where I would be put in goal or ultimately never picked to be a part of anyone\u2019s team.\u00a0<\/p>\n \t\t \t\t\t\tJoin Metro’s LGBTQ+ community on WhatsApp\t\t\t<\/p>\n With thousands of members from all over the world, our vibrant LGBTQ+ WhatsApp channel<\/a> is a hub for all the latest news and important issues that face the LGBTQ+ community.<\/p>\n Simply\u00a0click on this link<\/a>, select \u2018Join Chat\u2019 and you\u2019re in! Don’t forget to turn on notifications!<\/p>\n As a result, I feared fitness spaces or any areas where team sports were encouraged for years to come. I would actively avoid even going into shops that sold activewear and I didn\u2019t go to the gym \u2013 it eventually had an impact on the way I saw food. Since I became fearful of exercise<\/a>, I watched what I ate more closely, so as not to gain weight and keep myself slim and \u2018healthy\u2019.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n It was during the pandemic that I found a way to exercise without the watchful eye of potential bullies<\/a> \u2013 going for walks or working out in the park.\u00a0<\/p>\n When left to my own devices and stripped back from the world \u2013 I realised that there is joy and accessibility to exercise. I just had to find it for myself and that was the realisation that pushed me to find a fitness community.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n \t\t Once we were able to safely migrate back into society I decided to join the gym aged 25 \u2013 which was a vast emporium of machines and classes and keycodes and instructions. Still, I felt I was only allowed to use certain equipment; that the weights and strength areas weren\u2019t for someone like me.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n I was out as queer<\/a> and had been living as a non-binary person for 10 years so I wasn\u2019t shy about my identity, and would go to the gym with painted nails, concealer and mascara on.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n But the gym was populated with younger men in groups that replicated the energy I had experienced in the changing rooms at school. Although I didn\u2019t experience direct homophobia or transphobia, I didn\u2019t feel like I could freely express myself without fear of bumping into those men in the changing rooms. <\/p>\n There were no gender neutral<\/a> spaces other than the disabled bathroom either, so my anxiety<\/a> grew greater with every trip there.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n \t\t Now aged 28, I am a member at a much smaller, more bespoke gym because I know that to feel comfortable and safe, I like a smaller environment with less people, and more assistance from trainers or coaches.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n There is a collective feeling of community that I haven\u2019t felt before.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n There is a diverse age range of men and women of all different body types who are in the space to get fit, get strong and be active \u2013 just like me.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n Even from the initial tour, I noticed gender neutral facilities and an emphasis on treating the individual as an athlete and a fitness-lover rather than just a customer.\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n I felt so welcomed by this gym that I decided to share my sexuality<\/a> and gender identity with the instructors, since they had nurtured an environment where I felt able to bring my whole self to the space.\u00a0<\/p>\n \t\t I sent an email, sharing that I was a new member and enjoying my time there, and that I was also non-binary so I use \u2018they\/them\u2019 pronouns<\/a>. I wanted to ask if they could let any trainers or teachers whose classes I attend know.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n It was scary to hit send on the email, but it felt right.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n My email was met with a level of respect and gratitude that felt like a turning point in my relationship to fitness. They replied that I was \u2018most welcome\u2019 in the facilities and that they\u2019d \u2018let the team know\u2019 so that I was \u2018comfortable\u2019.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n I felt instant relief.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n Now, when I\u2019m spotting my partner in a strength class, my identity is a non-issue. We\u2019re there to focus on our fitness \u2013 and that\u2019s all.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n But what I love the most, and ultimately respect, is that if there ever was an issue \u2013 because homophobia<\/a> and transphobia<\/a> is still ever present in the world we live in \u2013 that I have an ally in the team. To me, that\u2019s priceless.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n Looking back, I\u2019m proud that \u2013 despite the bullying and the tarnished experience of sport that I had as a young person \u2013 I\u2019ve still been able to give myself the gift of exploring fitness for myself.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t have that chance as a child, but now I can make sure that I give myself the opportunity to find out who I am and what I enjoy doing in fitness spaces without fear.<\/p>\n Do you have a story you\u2019d like to share? Get in touch by emailing James.Besanvalle@metro.co.uk<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n Share your views in the comments below.<\/p>\n Arrow Arrow Arrow![\"Pride](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/SEI_184833898-139c.jpg\")
\n\t\tEvery PE lesson would be the same, explains Jamie (Picture: Jamie Windust)<\/p>\n![\"GAY](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/GettyImages-1444519446_f57269.jpg\")
\n\t\tI was 14 at the time and I wasn\u2019t even out as gay or non-binary then (Picture: Gareth Cattermole\/Getty Images for GAY TIMES)<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/image-783b-e1756293143295.png\")
\n\t\tI realised that there is joy and accessibility to exercise (Picture: Jamie Windust)<\/p>\n![\"Jamie](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/SEI_191489252-bdf3-e1707997497432.jpg\")
\n\t\tI\u2019m proud that I\u2019ve still been able to give myself the gift of exploring fitness for myself (Picture: Jamie Windust)<\/p>\n![\"GAY](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/GettyImages-1444519445-e1756293012482.jpg\")
\n\t\tThere is a collective feeling of community that I haven\u2019t felt before (Picture: Gareth Cattermole\/Getty Images for GAY TIMES)<\/p>\n
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