Dear Eric: I have been married to a wonderful woman for more than 50 years. About five years ago, I discovered that she spends more than $4,000 a year on vitamins and supplements. She hid these purchases from me by putting a small amount of the bill on a credit card and paying the rest in cash.<\/p>\n
She buys them from her chiropractor who has supplied them for more than 30 years. I knew she went to the chiropractor about once a month, but I had no idea about the amount she was spending.<\/p>\n
I feel it is unethical for a doctor to recommend supplements and then sell them to clients. Now I have tried to get her to reduce her intake, or shop around for better prices or get a second opinion about her needs. She refuses and tells me the guy only sells natural products that are the best. I really believe the guy has some kind of hold or spell on her.<\/p>\n
I have talked to her psychologist about this. He agrees with me but can\u2019t seem to fix it. I would like your thoughts. I am ready to go my separate way over this. Twenty more years of $4,000 a year is more than I can accept.<\/p>\n
\u2013 Desperate Husband<\/p>\n
Dear Husband: I agree that this chiropractor\u2019s methods seem more than suspect. If she was able to buy these supplements from anywhere, it would be a different story. I would love for her to find a second opinion.<\/p>\n
However, with regard to your marriage, I\u2019m going to play chiropractor\u2019s advocate for a second. It\u2019s telling that she hid these purchases \u2013 it indicates she knows they were suspicious and that should be cause for concern. But I\u2019m not sure it\u2019s cause for the dissolution of your marriage. If you\u2019d never discovered this, would you have known? It doesn\u2019t seem to have made a dent in your budget. So, perhaps the issue is the deception and not the expense.<\/p>\n
The bottom line: you and your wife should be honest with each other. At the same time, you should ask yourself whether this admittedly strange habit is worth throwing away 50 years of marriage.<\/p>\n
Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com<\/a> or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram<\/a> and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com<\/a>.<\/p>\n If you purchase a product or register for an account through a link on our site, we may receive compensation. By using this site, you consent to our User Agreement<\/a> and agree that your clicks, interactions, and personal information may be collected, recorded, and\/or stored by us and social media and other third-party partners in accordance with our Privacy Policy.<\/a><\/p>\n