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\n Lisa rejoins the group and is in top form as she goes in on Bronwyn for bringing up her legal troubles.
\n Photo: Bravo\n <\/p>\n
Though last week\u2019s premiere ended with what looked like a found-footage horror film of our Housewives venturing out into a haunted forest, rest assured that everybody came out alive (perhaps to Lisa Barlow\u2019s dismay). \u201cThey\u2019re not gonna let us die, it\u2019s too much of a liability for the network,\u201d Meredith even says, but then again, it is Bravo, so don\u2019t get too comfortable, Mer. And speaking of discomfort, I\u2019m genuinely shocked that these women actually all spent the night in that tiny RV, sleeping in what (at best) looked like AMC recliners. Of course there was no chance of Lisa Barlow showing up for that, let\u2019s be real. She wouldn\u2019t even fly coach!<\/p>\n
For breakfast, they inexplicably make steaks, trying and failing to eat them with plastic cutlery, and Heather opens up about feeling ready to become an empty nester. Bronwyn is gearing up for her daughter heading out as well, and just when I think this is going to be a nice bonding moment for the two of them, things take a turn. Whereas Heather feels like a new chapter of her life is about to begin, Bronwyn says she\u2019s not ready for her daughter to move out, which makes Heather feel like she\u2019s being mom-shamed. But ultimately, these are just two sides of the same coin.<\/p>\n
Back in civilization, we\u2019re greeted by a sight for sore eyes: Lisa Barlow, finally back on our screens to get lunch with Heather. And even though she might not have been on the trip, Heather tells her that her name came up plenty. For her part, Lisa brushes off the lawsuits that Bronwyn brought up, basically saying that they\u2019re all nothingburgers that have been, or are in the process of being dismissed. \u201cNo one sues the bottom, bitch. They all go for the top,\u201d she adds in her confessional. Print it on a mug.<\/p>\n
But the real topic of conversation is who did or didn\u2019t come to her defense, a question Heather knew she\u2019d ask \u2014 which is surely why she defended Lisa so strongly in the moment, so she could tell Lisa that she did. She adds that while Meredith started to defend her a little, she was mostly silent through it all, and Angie really piled on. Watching Lisa hear this report, especially with it being her first scene of the season, is much sadder than I could have anticipated.<\/p>\n
She even circles back at one point to ask, \u201cMeredith didn\u2019t say a word?\u201d before immediately starting to cry. What\u2019s interesting is that we\u2019ve seen this type of conflict play out many times before, but something feels different this time. She doesn\u2019t even seem angry, like she usually is, but rather her tears are coming from a place of pure exhaustion. It feels like a breaking point where she just can\u2019t handle another year of her and her business being in the crosshairs.<\/p>\n
But unfortunately for her, that seems to be where we\u2019re headed, because the very next scene is Bronwyn and Whitney meeting up at the top of a mountain to discuss the details of these cases even further. Specifically, we get excerpts from the suit that allege that Lisa didn\u2019t dispute the debt but rather replied with a \u201cpalm-face emoji\u201d and \u201cOVERWHELMED.\u201d Granted, that does sound like her. On top of that, it also alleges that she wanted to keep John out of the loop about said debt.<\/p>\n
Over at Mary\u2019s house, she sits down with Robert Jr. and the pair have another candid conversation about his battle with addiction. Much like the one we saw last year, it\u2019s at times uncomfortable to watch and revealing. Robert talks about the difficulty of coming home to the place where he used to party without falling back into that routine, and how isolated he now feels without the friends he used to party with. He says he\u2019s been coping with that isolation in \u201cunhealthy\u201d ways, like \u201cfood\u201d and \u201cdrugs,\u201d but clarifies that he means smoking weed. It\u2019s such a delicate conversation and journey that I\u2019m sure endless debates could be had over whether we should even be watching it unfold. I don\u2019t know the answer to that, but what is clear is that Mary is being an incredible and supportive mother in this unimaginable situation, and the hope in sharing this on the show is surely to help others in similar positions.<\/p>\n
As you can imagine, coming up with any segue or smooth transition here is a complete impossibility, but now Bronwyn and Heather are getting lunch. In an attempt to make peace, Bronwyn tries to clarify the misunderstanding that they had over their different feelings about empty nesting. Ultimately, Heather is projecting any insecurity she might have about being ready for her kids to leave onto Bronwyn\u2019s comments. Since these are arguably the show\u2019s two most emotionally intelligent Housewives, they\u2019re able to see this and put it to bed.<\/p>\n
However, what still needs to be litigated is why Bronwyn pursued Lisa so aggressively on the camping trip, especially after attempting to make peace at the reunion. Bronwyn essentially says that since Lisa kept going after her anyway, their peace treaty is off. But she doesn\u2019t want that to ruin her relationship with Heather, so the pair toasts to staying friends. But with Lisa Barlow caught between them, things don\u2019t feel promising.<\/p>\n
Just when you might have thought our cup was already overflowing with this incredible, sprawling cast, we have someone new to meet. Amy Steele, who\u2019s being billed as a \u201cUtah socialite\u201d (despite that sounding like an oxymoron), is throwing a fancy party at her home, and the gang\u2019s all going, even the name on everybody\u2019s lips. Lisa Barlow arrives into the lion\u2019s den, giving an awkward wave to Angie and then immediately cornering Meredith to ask about what was said on the trip.<\/p>\n
Meredith plays it exactly as you\u2019d expect by vaguely alluding to \u201cnot nice\u201d things being said but refusing to give details. But luckily for Lisa, Britani saunters over and launches into a complete play-by-play. \u201cBronwyn was the one pulling facts out of the air,\u201d she says, before giddily adding, \u201cAngie compared you to Jen Shah!\u201d I\u2019m obsessed with this woman; she\u2019s the best thing to happen to television in \u2026 perhaps all of history. She doesn\u2019t even have any fear about tattling on these women when they\u2019re standing literally feet away, and sure enough, Lisa decides to head right over to confront them. But before we get to that exchange, I must mention that while all of this is unfolding, a man in a bolo tie and a woman in a massive fedora stand directly behind them. I don\u2019t have much to say about them, but it would be journalistic malpractice not to acknowledge their presence, considering how they\u2019ve been continually drawing my eye this entire time.<\/p>\n
Anyway, as Lisa begins to confront Angie, Bronwyn hears her name and tries to join in on the conversation. \u201cI don\u2019t want to talk to you, you\u2019re dismissed,\u201d Lisa tells her, unfortunately perfectly setting Bronwyn up for a lawsuit dismissal joke in her confessional. It almost seems like Bronwyn feels cheated that Angie is getting the big confrontation scene even though she was the one who did all the work of bringing up the lawsuits \u2014 and if that\u2019s the case, Lisa is masterfully not giving her the attention she wants (at least at first). \u201cYou\u2019re loitering! This is loitering! She\u2019s loitering!\u201d Lisa shouts out as Bronwyn refuses to leave, and I am simply on the floor laughing. It\u2019s just when I think I couldn\u2019t laugh more, that Lisa calls her \u201cgout dick sucker\u201d and I collapse yet again.<\/p>\n
\u201cI thought gout was in the feet,\u201d Whitney ponders. This all then seamlessly transitions to a conversation about the mystery man that the court case alleges pays for Lisa\u2019s AmEx. She naturally denies this and instead says that Bronwyn sleeps with Todd so he\u2019ll pay for her AmEx. It\u2019s a game of AmEx ping pong, back and forth, back and forth. It\u2019s so explosive that I\u2019m starting to think that this Amy woman hired them all to be there as the party\u2019s entertainment instead of getting a juggler or band. And you know what? Money well spent.<\/p>\n
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