{"id":168576,"date":"2025-09-25T17:39:08","date_gmt":"2025-09-25T17:39:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/168576\/"},"modified":"2025-09-25T17:39:08","modified_gmt":"2025-09-25T17:39:08","slug":"new-baby-new-home-how-to-handle-a-financial-double-whammy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/168576\/","title":{"rendered":"New baby, new home: how to handle a financial double whammy"},"content":{"rendered":"

Open this photo in gallery:<\/a><\/p>\n

New parents often face one of the most financially strained phases of adulthood, with rising expenses arriving before they reach their peak earning years.ArtistGNDphotography<\/p>\n

Just after her daughter\u2019s first birthday, Alyssa Davies bought her first house \u2013 a double whammy of major life changes that left her reeling. New parenthood and homeownership each come with their own financial curveballs, but facing both at once? That was a crash course nobody warned her about.<\/p>\n

\u201cI remember feeling almost stunned. There was this sense of, \u2018How is this my home? How is this my child?\u2019,\u201d says Davies, now 35, who lives in Calgary. \u201cIt reminded me of the day you\u2019re sent home from the hospital, where you\u2019re holding your baby thinking, \u2018Are you sure I\u2019m ready for this?\u2019 That same shock hit me when we got the house keys. Suddenly, I was responsible not only for this tiny human but also for the biggest financial asset of my life.\u201d <\/p>\n

In the trenches of early parenthood, Davies remembers the weight of new responsibility piling up quickly, overwhelming her in ways that were both existential and painfully practical. It\u2019s still vivid for her, even over five years later.<\/p>\n

\u201cIt wasn\u2019t just about paying bills or sleepless nights,\u201d she says. \u201cIt was about reconciling who I was becoming under the pressure of these roles I had stepped into all at once.\u201d <\/p>\n

And Davies wasn\u2019t exactly flying blind: She\u2019s the founder of personal finance blog Mixed Up Money<\/a> and the co-host of the Money Feels podcast, with years of financial know-how under her belt. <\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ve seen it both in my own life and with clients. That combination of sleepless nights and financial strain doesn\u2019t just drain your bank account \u2013 it also drains your emotional reserves and bandwidth to make financial decisions,\u201d says Davies, who is also currently training to be a financial therapist. \u201cIn fact, from a psychological perspective, sleep deprivation actually makes financial stress feel heavier because our ability to regulate emotions and make clear decisions is compromised. So you\u2019re not just \u2018tired.\u2019 You\u2019re also more anxious, more irritable and less confident in your money choices. It becomes a cycle that feeds itself.\u201d<\/p>\n

This \u201cstacking of stressors,\u201d as Davies describes, can be particularly confusing because people are often anxious about two things that she says are generally symbols of stability: Home and family. <\/p>\n

\u201cIn reality, they come with identity shifts and financial pressure,\u201d she says. \u201cIt\u2019s easy for people to internalize the stress as \u2018I\u2019m failing,\u2019 when in fact, it\u2019s the sheer volume of life transitions happening at once that makes it feel overwhelming.\u201d <\/p>\n

It\u2019s also very common. This stretch of adulthood \u2013 when you might partner up, buy a home and start a family \u2013 is what money expert and bestselling author Jessica Moorhouse<\/a> calls \u201cphase two\u201d of the five stages of our adult financial lives. Phase one is when you\u2019ve just started your professional life but likely don\u2019t have huge financial responsibilities, while phase two is when things start ramping up. This is when those big life expenses tend to happen \u2013 and when people tend to start thinking about the future, whether that\u2019s saving for their kids\u2019 education or their own retirement. At the same time, their peak earning years still lie ahead of them. <\/p>\n

\u201cThis is the phase of life that will feel likely the most overwhelming because you\u2019ve got a number of different financial responsibilities all at once,\u201d Moorhouse says. \u201cIt can feel like financially, things are very tight and [it\u2019s] difficult to see an end in sight. But with proper financial planning, this will just be a short period in a long life and calmer times are ahead.\u201d <\/p>\n

(There\u2019s still phase three, where you\u2019re hopefully closer to paying off that mortgage and your kids are leaving the nest, and phase four, where you\u2019re at your earning peak and hopefully debt-free and building your nest egg. Then you\u2019ll finally hit phase five, \u201cin which if you\u2019ve planned right, you can finally relax and enjoy the fruits of your labour,\u201d says Moorhouse.)<\/p>\n

But what to do when you\u2019re in the thick of the stress? You may want to start out by checking in on your own body, not your bank balance.<\/p>\n

\u201cBefore we can problem solve, the body needs to be calm. One solution is to do a grounding exercise, such as deep breathing,\u201d suggests Juli Fraga, a psychologist and co-author of Parents Have Feelings Too. \u201cSimply take a deep inhale and on the exhale, do so slowly through pursed lips like you\u2019re blowing on hot soup. This exercise gives the vagus nerve in the body a tight hug, which calms down the body\u2019s nervous system, helping you feel calmer.\u201d <\/p>\n

According to Fraga, \u201cemotions start in the body, not the brain,\u201d which is why she begins with these sorts of exercises when she\u2019s working with folks who might be in the sleepless-and-house-poor phase of life.<\/p>\n

\u201cKnowing how to work with the emotions that travel with stress prevents [those] emotions from coming out sideways in defenses, such as self-blame or snapping at our partners, or with emotions such as guilt, shame, and anxiety, which can block access to our \u2018core emotions,\u2019 such as anger, sadness and fear,\u201d she says. \u201cWhen we can name, validate, and work through our core emotions, we can make decisions and take action that serve us well.\u201d <\/p>\n

It\u2019s an approach echoed by Davies, who doesn\u2019t want her clients to think about the specifics of their financials until they feel more grounded.<\/p>\n

\u201cNumbers aren\u2019t going to help in this situation. Why? Because they\u2019ve already run them. They were approved for a mortgage, they got the house, and they knew they could manage the bills. However, the nervous system wasn\u2019t given the same time,\u201d she says. \u201cAnd as humans, we need to feel safe before money decisions can feel clear. That might mean helping them notice where they actually do have stability \u2013 a roof overhead, a steady income, supportive relationships \u2013 so they can counterbalance the scarcity mindset.\u201d <\/p>\n

It\u2019s only after this \u201cemotional groundwork\u201d has been laid that Davies focuses on practical strategies, like normalizing asking for help if you need it (\u201ccommunity care is a financial resource,\u201d she says), communicating with your partner so you\u2019re not carrying money anxieties alone and treating rest as a financial strategy. \u201cTruly \u2014 better sleep leads to better decisions,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n

Feeling overwhelmed can easily lead to poor financial decisions \u2013 which is why it\u2019s crucial to slow down, get informed and make choices with intention, Moorhouse says.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t throw your hands up and give up because it\u2019s too hard. Yes, this is a difficult phase to live in, but you\u2019ve got to remember it\u2019s temporary and the actions you take today will have a huge impact on your future,\u201d she says. \u201cYou\u2019ll blink and five or 10 years will have passed. So don\u2019t wait \u2013 get started now. Future You will thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Open this photo in gallery: New parents often face one of the most financially strained phases of adulthood,…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":168577,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14],"tags":[64,63,99,186,1999,110438,5476,21131,110437,21363,74386,184,185,12973],"class_list":{"0":"post-168576","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-personal-finance","8":"tag-au","9":"tag-australia","10":"tag-business","11":"tag-finance","12":"tag-finances","13":"tag-financial-therapist","14":"tag-investing","15":"tag-mortgage","16":"tag-new-parents","17":"tag-noastack","18":"tag-ordid3815653568te","19":"tag-personal-finance","20":"tag-personalfinance","21":"tag-saving"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/168576","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=168576"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/168576\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/168577"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=168576"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=168576"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/au\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=168576"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}